To be shaking with jealousy over this girl and DH?!

[pollypopsocks]

Ok, I never get jealous so thi sfeels really alien to me but my heart is beating really fast and I feel ill!
Basically he has started a new job and has made friends with a girl who is a gorgeous part time underwear model and they have just made friends on facebook, she is really outgoing and put on her page she loves older men (she is 24, DH is 30) and going to the gym. DH also works out loads and is very good looking, women go a bit doe eyed around him. She has messaged him on facebook asking a seeminly inncocent work question followed by kisses.
I trust DH but I feel so strange and shaky!!! AIBU

Self-respect is what it comes down to, for me. I never understand this 'try and divert anything untoward happening' viewpoint. At the very best it's a delaying tactic.

I have far too much self-respect to do anything at all to try to 'prevent' my partner from having an affair. If he's going to do it, I'm neither going to try and stop him, nor be waiting around when he's finished. End of.

My fried is a size zero model who cooked, cleaned, did all child care, didn't make financial demands or extravagances, always took pride in her appearance and supported her husband in allowing him to spend all his free time doing as he pleased, playing world of war craft, because 'he needs to be able to unwind after a hard day at work'. She recently found out he has been cheating on her for 2 years, with an obese, unattractive (probably more intelligent) woman he met on the game.

The moral:- just because this woman is an underwear model doesn't necessarily mean she is a threat.

And the best way to deal with unwanted flirty types on facebook is to post on the same threads/topics jokey things... showing that a) you are an active and aware wife on good terms with her husband b) that you are not threatened by her at all (even if you are). Oh, and add her on facebook - keep your friends close and your enemies closer. I add anyone like that.

My DH used to do the Max Power show in Birmingham with his company. He spent a weekend each year surrounded by models and dancers. One of them flashed her boobs at him, a couple propositioned him. I was not bothered even when he became friends with one girl and chatted to her on the phone (he helped her make a website for her dancing business). He told me everything, laughed about it and was very open about chatting to this girl on the phone etc.

I trusted him then and I do now. If you trust your DH you have no reason to be so upset IMO.

Good for your mum, Adversecamber!

I completely forgot about that, AngryFeet. My partner is in IT and goes to a lot of conferences and exhibitions. A huge number of IT companies employ models to wander around the exhibition wearing virtually nothing, trying to entice people back to that company's stand to see their products.

He thinks they're amusing because if he asks them any questions about the product, the obviously don't know the answers.

It actually saddens me a tiny bit that he's such a geek he's not even checking them out at all.

Give him enough rope to hang himself, then you'll know what kind of a man he is. You can't "protect" him from a "bimbo" he's a grown up who chose to marry you.

I would be rather pleased for my DP if a gorgeous woman sent him a message with kisses on it. He doesn't get out much . It would cheer him up no end.

I do put kisses on emails but then I am (a) hopelessly luvvie (b) a journalist.

Me too MotherInferior and I am neither a luvvie or a journalist. I also kiss everybody hello, goodbye and for punctuation. I even kissed the school bus driver when my kids left primary school! Mwah xxx

(I am actually, I suspect, just a bit of a slapper .)

Yes, poor men, one whiff of a well turned ankle and they're off. They can't help it though. Those nasty women are predatory and can do black magic spells which make them forget their marriage vows.

Poor men, norty laydees.

Sorry op, but seriously?? There's always going to be someone younger, fitter, prettier with bigger boobs and longer legs out there. They may even take part in social kissing occasionally. It doesn't mean that they steal husbands necessarily. Husbands can't be stolen, they tend to wander of their own accord.

ah i wouldnt like this either op

I would hate this too...it's not ok for another woman to put kisses on the end of a text unless their a relative or a really good friends of you BOTH....I hate women like this ......yes I hate them even when they claim they do know what their doing!!!
Your DH probably would never dream of cheating on you but I would be on full alert, although not obviously, you dont want her to think your a jealous shrew...be super friendly to her...keep your friends close but your enemies closer..

Where in lifes great rule book does it dictate that you can't put a kiss on the end of a text or mail unles you're related or really close friends?

She might be "really close friends" with op's dh. Doesn't mean she's after his cock.

Jealousy is so unattractive :o

It gets terribly tiring though, being on this constant alert for a flash of female friendliness. I used to be like this . I was convinced that if anyone else came along my DP would be off like a bat out of hell.

Then he left me.

Then the next bloke left me.

Then I took up with Mr Inferior, and thought soddit he seems to like me and I can't be arsed with this constant and pointless vigilance. And he hasn't left me (yet - obviously his claim to be on a train back from Edinburgh at the moment may be a flimsy cover for a clinch with a hottie) and I do feel a lot cheerier (and easier to get on with), I must say.

Actually MrG has a meeting next week with lots of sweaty old men trying to drum up some business stuff. The girl who organises this is Gorgeous, her boss is Gorgeous and her assistant is Gorgeous too. The first gorgeous girl is bringing some of her Gorgeous friends along. she's shown MrG photos on her phone of these attractive, young, successful Gorgeous women.

Should I be worried? What would the point be in that?

Those of you who sign emails with kisses, do you do it at work too? I don't think there is any harm in signing texts to friends with a kiss, but in the work place I think it looks sloppy and unprofessional. I don't consider it an appropriate way to end communications with a colleague, not if you expect them to take you seriously at any rate. But then again, I don't think you should have colleagues on fb anyway. I wouldn't want my boss/colleagues to have too much insight into my life.

I don't think men will cheat just because a pretty girl has been a bit flirty, but if they are feeling a bit low for whatever reason or if they've had some personal problems, then the attention of a woman unconnected to real life allows them to forget their problems and it's easy for one thing to lead to another. That's true of women as well as men. Which is why people should behave appropriately to the situation they are in.

Marriage isn't all romantic weekends away and it's easy sometimes to get a bit distracted and bogged down with the mundane and some woman being all 'friendly' can tip things the wrong way. It's right to keep an eye out for things that are not going to improve your relationship and get rid of them if you can. No sense in borrowing trouble.