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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shaking with jealousy over this girl and DH?!

184 replies

pollypopsocks · 20/05/2011 10:06

Ok, I never get jealous so thi sfeels really alien to me but my heart is beating really fast and I feel ill!
Basically he has started a new job and has made friends with a girl who is a gorgeous part time underwear model and they have just made friends on facebook, she is really outgoing and put on her page she loves older men (she is 24, DH is 30) and going to the gym. DH also works out loads and is very good looking, women go a bit doe eyed around him. She has messaged him on facebook asking a seeminly inncocent work question followed by kisses.
I trust DH but I feel so strange and shaky!!! AIBU

OP posts:
knittedbreast · 20/05/2011 10:36

i wouldnt be too worried. shes a model, your his WIFE.

i know what you mean about the kisses, at work i get emails from customers signing "love anna" (for example) or with loads of xxxxx at the end.

Ive even spoken to customers who at the end of the conversation say to me ok, love you lots thanks bye.

im like, err do i say i love you back?

Original poster
pollypopsocks · 20/05/2011 10:42

Okay! Have casually asked him who the glamour model is, he laughed and says everyone at work dislikes her because she is a total dick who thinks she is better than everyone else and is really rude and patrionising and although she thinks she is really beautiful and likes to tell people how hot guys find her he thinks she looks like some kind of rodent with a mono brow.

OP posts:
HubbaHubbaBubba · 20/05/2011 10:46

Oh! Good for you polly ( though I still like the idea of going and marking your territory at his place of work ) :o

:o kitbit

swallowedAfly · 20/05/2011 10:50

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aldiwhore · 20/05/2011 10:56

Excellent idea kitbit

Think you've done the right thing pollypopsocks - I'm not a jealous person but I wouldn't like it, especially the kisses, though she probably does that to everyone, I actually included a kiss in a text to the headmistress last week - doh - force of habit, oh the shame.

My DH works with random hotties, mostly hotties who are looking for their big break and a lot of them would happily sleep with anyone who they thought would get the closer to fame... I'm sure he finds someone of them attractive, they ARE attractive, but I believe him when he says he's not interested. There was one who was gorgeous AND pleasant, she's now a very good friend of both of us (though I do always worry what to wear when she comes round and feel frumpy, not her fault).

boilingpoint · 20/05/2011 10:56

I agree that u need to mark your territory, I.e pics on facebooke and a nice message from the kids on his wall.

God I hate models. -jelousy-

boilingpoint · 20/05/2011 11:00

facebook jealousy apologies for my appalling writing bloody phone!

onehellofaride · 20/05/2011 11:09

YANBU I would feel the same Blush

Adversecamber · 20/05/2011 11:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oblomov · 20/05/2011 11:22

monobrowed rodent. Ha ha ha. love it. turns out she isn't that attractive to Op's dh then . good. pleased.

nijinsky · 20/05/2011 11:24

I think befriending work colleagues on FB is unprofessional, other than a couple of very close friends. Its also risky - people have been sacked when their managers have read comments on FB.

I'd have expected my DH not to friend this girl on FB, and if he had done, either to ignore the message with kisses asking for help or to delete it.

Nothing wrong with being vigilant and having your wits about you OP, and don't ever let anyone else tell you otherwise!

nijinsky · 20/05/2011 11:28

Ooops just read OP's last response. LOL! This is a bit like a girl I know who is in our cycling club. She is good looking but also looks rather manly. But she is also as thick as mince and embarrassingly flirty. Lets just say she has to work hard for any male attention she gets, when other girls just sit back and let it come to them. Most men are attracted to her for about 10 minutes then repelled by her carry on. She hasn't had a boyfriend for 3 years, despite flirting with every man she meets (and sending similar kissy kissy messages on FB).

waterrat · 20/05/2011 11:31

oh do not waste your time 'marking your territory' ! FGS. I totally sympathise with the jealousy issue - and its worth sitting down and talking to your husband about your own family related issues if you havent already. tell him that you sometimes feel insecure (don't tie it to this particular situation if you dont want to) - and talk to him about what security and commitment means to him.

Please do not waste your time tagging pictures of yourself on his facebook - you are his wife! do not lower yourself to competing with someone - essentially that is what you would be doing. Creating a competition that only you know is going on - with some bird he works with. Seriously - if there is a danger it would have to come from your husband - he is the one who would have to cheat. remember you are his wife, he loves you and is committed to you. You dont need to get involved with battles like that, that will only make you feel worse.

If you seriously dont trust him, look at the root of that. If you do - then forget about her.

fedupofnamechanging · 20/05/2011 11:37

OP, I'd let my husband know that it doesn't look very professional to have her listed as a friend on fb. I'm a great believer in keeping work and personal life separate.

Not saying this is true about your DH, but just because a man says a woman is ugly/horrible/not his type etc, that doesn't necessarily make it so. It would be a stupid man who said to his wife "Oh yes, X is very pretty and I am attracted to her". You can tell for yourself whether or not she is pretty and if you believe she is then he probably does too, even if he never has any intention of doing anything wrong. Getting married doesn't mean that your eyes stop working.

TheBride · 20/05/2011 11:43

re kisses on work emails, I once accidentally signed an email to the (male) CFO

Bxx

I realised what I'd done and was so embarrassed that I begged IT to delete the email, which they did, but only after I explained why. The worst thing was was that he'd read the email before he got the recall notice so then called me to ask me why I recalled it (thinking there was an error in one of the numbers I gave him)

Cringe, cringe, cringe

LeQueen · 20/05/2011 12:38

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhoAteMySnickers · 20/05/2011 12:52

YANBU unreasonable for feeling a bit wierd about it.

In your position I would be asking DH why, if he thinks she's a total dick who loves herself and looks like a rodent with a monobrow, did he add her on FB in the first place? And why it is necessary for her to contact him about work via FB?

worraliberty · 20/05/2011 12:58

I think it's sad he feels the need to slag the girl off in that way in order to reassure the OP.

If he really felt that way, I'm sure he wouldn't have added her to FB. Plenty of people reject friend requests on the basis they only accept close friends and family. He could quite easily have done that.

HubbaHubbaBubba · 20/05/2011 12:58

Oh Boo waterrat and lequeen! Spoilsports! :o

LeQueen · 20/05/2011 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BabyYoureAFirework · 20/05/2011 13:30
  • sorry LeQueen, I disagree. He's trying to reassure his wife!

All this 'marking your territory' thing - it reminds me of Ross and Rachel in Friends when she starts working with Mark, and Ross keeps sending her stuff to the office Grin

sungirltan · 20/05/2011 13:40

pollypop - your dh sounds ace :-) loving the rodent comment - no need to worry i reckon.

your dh is great but glamma girl is a knob. if its still bothers you block her on your fb page because 1 it means she cant stalk you and 2 it looks like you never post anything at all on your dh's page which makes you look super secure and not the sort to be bothered by this floozy type. when i first got engaged to dh i had a girl like this who tried everything she could think of on fb to make it look like there might be something between them. i am 100% sure there wasnt - i blocked her - she cant see me and vice versa so her attemps came up against a brick wall after that and she gave up quite soon.

HubbaHubbaBubba · 20/05/2011 13:45

That's exactly what made me think about it baby [see my post @ 10:33]- send a lovebug (whatever the feck that is!), and an acapella-style group! :o :o

LeQueen · 20/05/2011 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/05/2011 13:57

Applauds LeQueen. Criticising another woman's appearance isn't going to act as some kind of talisman to keep your husband in check. In fact, it makes you look desperately trying to keep him and instead of reducing the girl to a person of no consequence to your marriage, you're actually raising her stock. When your DH realises this, 'relationships' is that-a-way -->>>

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