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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be incredibly annoyed with my 20 month old son.

220 replies

GoFullForce · 20/05/2011 09:10

so much that Ive had to go upstairs and calm down away from him.

In the shower this morning, and ds playing/shouting for me, but as I was washing my hair, was reassuring him that il be a minute etc... anyway looked down and their is my £300 NEW mobile phone, broken, gone, etc... yes its insured through my house insurance, but Ggggrrr, I'm so annoyed.

annoyed at my 20 month old son, honestly!. Hmm

It was on charge in my bedroom, same place where I have charged my mobiles for 5 years. Grrr .

OP posts:
FunnysInTheGarden · 21/05/2011 10:35

Have just googled attachment disorder and the list of causes didn't mention 'playpens'. More like serious trauma in the early years due to neglect, death of parent, abuse etc. Are you sure you have your facts right ami?

QualiaQuale · 21/05/2011 10:58

attachment disorder is a fucking huge nightmare issue, not something to laugh and joke about. It's like joking a kid has cancer or something, you're sick if you think thats funny. So, yup, I'll stick with fuck off. Hmm

PumpkinSnatch · 21/05/2011 13:07

OP please tell me what kind of phone you have that where the a live electrical wire doesn't plug into the handset when you are charging it.

WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 22/05/2011 06:12

Attachment disorder? From a daily (or less, depending on the mother's hygiene habits Wink) 20 min session in a playpen?

ttalloo · 22/05/2011 06:52

OP, I think you've had an unfairly hard time - you clearly vented on here in the initial aftermath of finding out your DS had damaged your phone, so you were understandably angry (and in the way of these things misdirected your anger at him, rather than yourself).

But all the po-faced accusations of you neglecting your DS or not ensuring his safety, are absurd. Everyone makes their own assessment of risk, and acts accordingly - you've done that, and just because it isn't what some saintly types on here would do, it doesn't mean it's wrong.

And PumpkinSnatch, the OP has said that her mobile phone charger is plugged in behind a cabinet, and he can't reach it - all he could do was reach up to the top of the cabinet to pull the phone off the charger. So unless he climbs on to the chest, he can't actually stick the business end of the charger into his mouth. Why on earth are you still banging on about this when she's already answered your same question from several pages before?

Original poster
GoFullForce · 22/05/2011 08:04

Thankyou ttaloo. I was venting, I'm now blaming myself, as I should have done. Dh has fitted a floating shelf, so unless he grows 4ft, anytime soon he wont be able to get to it. Smile

Ive showed dh this thread, he actually said "some people talk through a goldfish brain" I happen to agree.

Only on MN, where a mum gets angry over her child (wrongfully) because of a mobile phone, and it escalates to a neglecting her child thread, all because she left her handset in reach of her child. Think I might ask to put this in "classics" Grin

OP posts:
betterwhenthesunshines · 22/05/2011 11:16

My toddler put my phone ' in the dumper bin'.... I never found it as I didn't know where she meant... in the recycling, in the washing ( jumper? bin) but we turned the house upside down and it never turned up!

Wormshuffler · 22/05/2011 11:30

I am curious, all the people who are saying put everything out of reach. I never did this, except the dangerous stuff. It doesn't teach them to respect things, you need to educate!!

Threelittleducks · 22/05/2011 11:50

This thread astounds me - nothing like getting yor life picked apart, eh?

Nobody ever signs up for it, but by golly, trust everyone here to pick, pick, pick.

My answer: YABU to be annoyed at your 20 month old, but you have learned a valuable lesson! I do sympathise though - nightmare! I can't count the number of once-precious things I've written off due to ds1.
I'd have to shove evrything up my arse to create a safe-zone! Grin
Congrats on the new floating shelf!

heliumballoons · 22/05/2011 12:11

Well Fuck a Duck.

How has an innocent I need to scream AIBU turned into an investigation of gofullforce's parenting methods.

I have sat and read the whole thread. At first I thouht Ha first child, first they can reach lesson. Then realised OP had 2 DC's and thought Ha all children are different lesson learnt. Grin

Than all of a sudden people are jumping on the OP about her safety methods - which tbh all sound fine and better than mine ever were.

Does no-one ever leave anything electric anywher in their houses when they have toddlers? I mean no TVs/ consoles/ lamps etc. Because they can all electrocute as well you know.

I have been a LP for 5 1/2 years. I have had shower in that time leaving DS alone - even when he was that age on a 4th floor apartment - with the safety methods I chose in place. (which some will agree with and others not)

As for playpen. I put DS in one during a hurricaine at 14 months old (hate them but was given to me as I had recently become a LP and was told I'd need it!) - no power/ water/ things flying past 4th floor window. He decided then was the time to climb out of it an land full force on his face and have a massive nose bleed and put his tooth through his lip. So yes children can escape from them - if they so wish.

I'm not going to produce the OP as some kind of martyr but look at everything going on in her life re work/ DC's/ caring etc - 'walk a mile' and all that before critisizing.

YABU to be cross at DS but you realised that a few pages back. Grin

PumpkinSnatch · 22/05/2011 19:53

No I don't leave my young kids unsupervised with anything that can electrocute them. Most parents don't surely? Most electrical appliances such as lamps/tvs etc have the non-plug end of the cable moulded to the plastic - the only things we have that aren't like this are our mobiles/laptop and ps3 and the kids are never left alone with them.
The child in the OP could have climbed up or knocked the phone down the back of the cabinet and pulled the wire out - toddlers will find a way.

QueenofDreams · 23/05/2011 08:25

OP my post was an attempt to be in support of you and your decision to let your DS roam while you shower, seeing as I do the same thing! Always nice getting jumped on by posters you're agreeing with Hmm

ttalloo · 23/05/2011 18:30

Bloody hell, PumpkinSnatch, how on earth do you live with such a rigid set of rules? My toddler could conceivably shatter the TV screen with a large plastic dinosaur and damage himself rather badly, but I still leave him alone in the sitting room, together with plugs, sockets (his interest in which he outgrew after he stopped crawling, but we let him do his worst with them), a mug that could be smashed on the coffee table and provide a sharp edge on which he could cut himself - the list is endless - while I'm in the kitchen.

You can't keep toddlers by your side all day long - at some point you have to leave the room, having assessed any risks, and minimised or eliminated them where necessary - and the advantage of doing that is that it gives them the opportunity to learn a sense of independence and what it is to be trusted.

And going back to the much and unfairly maligned OP, that is what she has done. Which you still seem incapable even of understanding.

Teenytiny · 23/05/2011 18:35

some people are acting like they move EVERYTHING out of reach of their kids and if their child did get their hands on it and broke it they wouldnt be annoyed. come on you cant move everything out the way of a child give the op a break

COCKadoodledooo · 23/05/2011 18:45

GFF my 10mo dropped my brand new HTC Legend in the bog, I feel your pain. Mine was also charging, and high up. Unfortunately he pulled on the cable, pulled it down and unplugged it. Suggest charging only when lo is not around or is hawkeye supervised!

Damn straight I was pissed off with him btw!

Casey76 · 23/05/2011 18:47

You are obviously joking right? How can you get really annoyed with a 20 month old baby????

Teenytiny · 23/05/2011 18:48

listen to the perfect mummies never get annoyed with their kids roll eyes

COCKadoodledooo · 23/05/2011 18:54

Err, because they did something annoying Casey?

Casey76 · 23/05/2011 18:55

oh ok lets all get annoyed with babies who are too young to know what they are doing because if not we will be accused of being a perfect mummy.....have a word with yourself

COCKadoodledooo · 23/05/2011 18:58

Riiiiiiiiiight. So a baby does something that my 7yo would get a real bollocking for, but because they don't understand I'm not allowed to be irritated?

Funny, they don't hand out a sainthood with the Bounty packs round here. Sheesh Hmm

Teenytiny · 23/05/2011 18:59

We all get annoyed with our kids at time so dont deny it. she hardly took it out on him she left the rooms so give her a break!

flyingspaghettimonster · 23/05/2011 19:01

YABABU... our lovely 1 year old chucked his Dad's iphone into the swimming pool last year, we just laughed about it as really, what else can you do? We were dumb enough to have left it in reach... in the end a friend of ours who worked for APple spent hours taking it apart and cleaning all the corrosion out, so it was working again almost good as new (by this time DH had been given the 4g for his birthday, so as always I inherited the older gadget)... on day 2 of it being mine, the same toddler accidentally kicked my hand while I was holding it, and the glass cracked :( again, not a deliberate attempt to be naughty, so what can you do but grin and accept it? Oh, and find a better distraction for the toddler while you shower, if he isn't with you. I always have mine in with me for baths, he gets to play with some toys while I read a book and soak... that way I know he is safe and I can still get some me time...

Casey76 · 23/05/2011 19:05

You can be annoyed about a situation without being annoyed AT A BABY!!!!

Also I haven't said anything about the OP apart from to ask if she was joking...I hardly need to give her a break do I???

I am sure she has calmed down and realised that it is a bit silly to be "incredi bly annoyed" with a 20 month old.

Casey76 · 23/05/2011 19:06

FFS you are not comparing a 7 year old with a baby are you???

Teenytiny · 23/05/2011 19:07

Im sure shes annoyed at her phone being buggered not like she smacked the child chillax fgs