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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Best friend using same name for her daughter - five weeks apart.

302 replies

wellamI1981 · 18/05/2011 16:08

So...my bub is just over a month old. When she was born my best mate obviously text to say congratulations and mentioned that she and her husband had picked the same name (Charlotte) for their daughter - giving the impression that going ahead with it would now be a bit silly. I have now found out that far from abandoning the name they are going ahead with calling their baby the same name.

Now I totally realise no one owns a name - particularly one so, so popular. If it were simply a friend's baby (i.e. not my best friend who I see most days) I wouldn't be as concerned. But it's my best friend...

So...AIBU to be concerned/upset?

OP posts:
OohMatron · 21/05/2011 23:25

Wellam adjusting to being a mum is hard, i think it's normal to feel like you do. Sometimes we lose objectivity in the haze of a new baby. If she is as good a friend as you've said i'm sure you'll sort it out Smile

scottishmummy · 21/05/2011 23:27

no its not imo normal to angst about name

CRS · 21/05/2011 23:27

It is a bit daft, OP, isn't it? My son has a name which I liked, and partner liked. I thought he would always be called by his full name... Ha! Nickname is very common. I have taught about a million Very Common Names since the year 2000 when he was born, and he's usually been one of three or four in any given school.

At my work, there are five members of staff called Julie/Julia. And two with my name. It's a standing joke that you have to be a Julie or a my name to work there.

It's silly to be bothered about this, honestly. And I speak as one who has taught absolutely LOADS of Charlottes. And Graces. And Toms.

The child is individual - unless you call your child Moon Unit or something, their name is unlikely to be.

bubblecoral · 21/05/2011 23:28

If she's asked how you felt, she did consider your feelings. Confused

Now she knows how upset you are over it, maybe she will go with something different. I would text her and say you don't mind asap, like now, before she chooses something else and regrets it.

Original poster
wellamI1981 · 21/05/2011 23:32

No it's done Bubble - she's Charlotte. I'm over it. Ive been over the top. It's not ideal but hey ho: there are far worse things like babies who aren't healthy.

OP posts:
Original poster
wellamI1981 · 21/05/2011 23:33

Yes CRS - it is daft. :)

OP posts:
bubblecoral · 21/05/2011 23:35

Fair Enough! Smile There really are worse things, do you think there is anything else that is upsetting you at the moment that has made you think of a not ideal situation of being worse than it is?

lockets · 21/05/2011 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
wellamI1981 · 21/05/2011 23:36

Possibly that I haven't had more than 2 hours sleep in four weeks?! Ha!

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 21/05/2011 23:38

flex creditcard .flowers and congratulations
congrats to both of you
now gently try stop being so pernickity or precise, you cannot expect self or others to be perfect, just be good enough mum

clam · 21/05/2011 23:38

Actually, I don't think YABU. I'd be hacked off too, for all the same unreasonable reasons!
The thing is, though, that she didn't really copy "your" name. They chose it because they liked it, as you did. The unfortunate thing for her is that your baby was born first.
But it's not as bad as the recent thread where the OP's SIL called her baby (3 months younger) Isabelle Eva when the OP's baby was already Isabella Eve. They were to have the same surname as they were cousins, lived in the same village, would likely attend the same school and be in the same class. The plan was also to abbreviate to Bella, like the OP.
Think that was a unilateral YANBU to the OP, who was livid.

QuintessentialOldMoo · 21/05/2011 23:38

OP, you can take comfort in the fact that scottishmummy is even more obsessive than you, on this thread! Wink

I hope you get some decent sleep.

scottishmummy, you should get some too. Wink

clam · 21/05/2011 23:40

By the way, I love the name Charlotte. However, it seems that so does everyone else at the moment, as I have 4 of them in my current class. Be prepared to always have to add the first letter of your surname to everything you write or label!

scottishmummy · 21/05/2011 23:41

stop being so machiavellian.200+ others have participated too
im working and this my only active thread

Original poster
wellamI1981 · 21/05/2011 23:41

I suppose lockets it's cos personally I wouldn't have. Would have been absolutely gutted to choose a diff name but i would have taken the month or so to do so - admittedly more for my own baby's benefit and me in that I want her to have a 'special' name. But it's all by the by now. I'm going to sort it - I'm in the wrong for getting so worked up and making it 'about me'.

OP posts:
bubblecoral · 21/05/2011 23:42

Ha! That will be new motherhood for you then. Smile I don't think I became a rational human being again until ds1 was about 10mo. Seriously.

QuintessentialOldMoo · 21/05/2011 23:42

scottishmummy just for you.....

Grin
lockets · 21/05/2011 23:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CRS · 21/05/2011 23:44

My partner is R. His Dad is also R (family name). MY dad is R, by coincidence, and so is my oldest brother (family name!). Hilarious at Christmas. "R!! Come and help me!". They all go running! (We are matriarchal!)). Son is not R. Caused some consternation, but I gave in to an extent. Third middle name is R!

Original poster
wellamI1981 · 21/05/2011 23:44

Thanks Quint and clam.

OP posts:
lockets · 21/05/2011 23:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Deflatedballoonbelly · 21/05/2011 23:57

Scottish mummy, your like a dog with a bone. Im sure you only keep coming on here to tell people off. Boring life you must lead, eh? Hmm

lockets · 22/05/2011 00:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 22/05/2011 00:03

deflared youre intent on telling op how right she is
and 220+ telll her she isnt

so to paraphrase the great quote you would say that wouldnt you

QuintessentialOldMoo · 22/05/2011 00:05

Half of the 220 posts are YOU though, and the other half are different posters, which is the point, though, isnt it?