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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask her to take someone else?

213 replies

sofaqueenie · 16/05/2011 14:28

I bought my best friend and I two Take That tickets for 30th June, which we've been really looking forward to.

I've recently discovered that I'm pregnant and it works out I'll be around 13 weeks when we go.

TBH - I really don't want to go now for that reason and a few others. I don't know how to tell her that I don't want to go, but that she's more than welcome to take someone else.

She's been looking forward to it so much with me, and she's confided in me that I'm her only real friend that she likes spending time with, so it makes it a little worse. She knows I'm pregnant, and she's already started to panic about how she's 'going to have to make sure I'm OK' and I just can't be doing with it!

Any advice?

OP posts:
MayDayChild · 16/05/2011 18:31

I hate the obvious abuse on this website. All shout at me......
OP I'm sure this thread has upset you. I don't think you were rude fwiw. Make sure you turn the computer off and delete the thread

cricketballs · 16/05/2011 18:36

as I read your post - "any advice?" meant that you were looking for different opinions but the only replies I have read from yourself op are rude, all include bad langauage etc just because you don't agree with the advice offered (which you did clearly ask for)......

If I was your friend; I wouldn't want you to go

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 18:37

Oh sofa. I give up. Honestly. It was gentle ribbing. And not just by me I hasten to add. You really are getting worked up for nothing!

I have said I actually can understand your reasoning given your circs.

But your pissiness is totally out of proportion. Truly. And you have queered your (undersandable) pitch because of it

Original poster
sofaqueenie · 16/05/2011 18:41

I know it's not excuse, bad language is awful, but I feel so AAARRRGHHH about some of the stupid, uncalled for, 'you're pregnant not ill', crappy comments on here!

I appreciate the decent replies which don't contain said comments, and perhaps on a normal day I would'nt have given a damn.

But today, I do

OP posts:
hobnobsaremyfavourite · 16/05/2011 18:43

OP you were pissy from the off.
You don't want to / can't go.....fine . DON'T.
It's not bloody rocket science is it.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 16/05/2011 18:44

Oh and for most people early pregnancy is not an illness . Your circs are different.....might have helped if you had made that clear from the get go.

QuintessentialOldMoo · 16/05/2011 18:56

I suspect the op is suffering from cybertitities.

That explains her attitude.

Needanewname · 16/05/2011 19:02

If your tickets are for Wembley, there will be seats that you can sit on so it won;t be too jostly.

You never know after feeling like crap for a few weeks, it may be the thing you need, a good time out with a good friend.

TheVisitor · 16/05/2011 19:07

I would stand by the "you're pregnant, not ill" comments if you didn't have previous history of miscarriage. As it is, I'm not telepathic. Given your history that you revealed later, I would agree that you're not being unreasonable to worry about going. However, you were abusive and aggressive, and for that there is no excuse.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 19:13

Well then Sofa I would suggest 2 things

  1. you check back and see if I was a person who said "you're pregnant not ill"
  2. don't start a thread on AIBU on a day when you don't feel up to taking the flack (which there always is - you know that!)
BluddyMoFo · 16/05/2011 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ipswichwitch · 16/05/2011 19:24

we've got tickets for kings of leon in june, so i'll be 19wk preg (with twins!!) by then. am still planning to go though, even though we got standing tickets, but the stadium we're going to does have seats available for the standers to use. i'm planning to drive so there's no cost involved since tickets paid for. i do understand your reservations about going, but i would advise standing right at the back, as when they come on stage everyone surges forward so you'll have plenty space. if you're short like me, you tend to see a bit more there anyway than when you got lots of people right in your face.

QuintessentialOldMoo · 16/05/2011 19:31

Sofaqueenie, your insults started already in your third post. YOUR insult, was in fact the FIRST insult:

sofaqueenie Mon 16-May-11 14:42:00
Thank you Teacher - thank God I'm not the only one with a little common sense, eh?

You implied the others did not have common sense.
This was AFTER Curryspice sympathized with you, and shared HER concert experience.

The thread went downhill from there, you threw your proverbial rattled out of the pram and started going to great lengths being petulant, rude and offensive to posters on this thread.

Do you at all think that responses to you may have been a little different had YOU not started hurling insults?

You know what I do when I come across people like you in real life?

I feel superior. Honestly I really do. I raise my chin, and look at them with a sort of raised eyebrow, then I realize there is no reasoning with them, and I walk away.

I have no patience for grown ups acting worse than my five year old. It is not cute. Not endearing, and there are no redeeming qualities.

TidyDancer · 16/05/2011 19:32

You haven't been treated badly on this thread, OP. People have responded the way they have because the situation is quite silly really, it's not a death metal gig, it's a Take That concert. :)

I get why you're upset. You came onto the thread either expecting or wanting validation for the way you feel, and therefore a reason to tell your friend you can't go. We all feel better about backing out of things when our perspective has been reinforced by others, it's just a fact. You didn't get validation or reinforcement from most, you were told by the overwhelming majority that there was little reason for you not to go on the facts you gave at the time.

But really, being very rude to people when all you have had is some lighthearted teasing, is not going to win you any points on here.

TidyDancer · 16/05/2011 19:35

I will also add that for gigs at Wembley Stadium, if you have standing tickets, there is always IME a MASSIVE section of unreserved seating. It is a very good stadium to go to if you are concerned you won't be able to stand for the duration.

Needanewname · 16/05/2011 19:38

Could everyone not cut the OP some slack - she's newly pregnant and surely you remember what its like!

BluddyMoFo · 16/05/2011 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Needanewname · 16/05/2011 19:57

I meant about some of the comments! Some people are better at being pregnant than others ifkwim

StayFr0sty · 16/05/2011 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maGicGift · 16/05/2011 20:08

I love Take That, none of my mates like them and would go with me, so I'll go with her...!
Grin

EveryonesJealousOfGingers · 16/05/2011 20:09

Moral of the story - avoid posting in AIBU when feeling hormonal and emotional - it is really not the place!

Good luck with your pregnancy OP :)

GandTiceandaslice · 16/05/2011 21:44

I hope this pregnancy is successful.
Perhaps post all the facts in the 1st place.
And dn't post in AIBU unless you're thick skinned & not hormonal.

PumpkinSnatch · 16/05/2011 23:32

I wouldn't go. I turned down a ticket to the races when I was pregnant. I would be most worried about the end of the concert where everyone pushes and shoves to get to the exit. Plus It made me feel sick for anyone to rub against/touch my bump.
Even the most experienced people can be overprotective where pregnancy is concerned. I remember SIL trying to pick up my 2yo to give her a kiss when she was about 3 months gone and my MIL flew across the room and practically rugby tackled dd to stop her because 'she's pregnant'. And MIL was a doctor. Notice she didn't offer to carry slightly bigger dd for me though when I became pregnant not long after

iscream · 17/05/2011 03:03

Just tell your friend, and arrange for another outing, something you would feel comfortable doing, to share with her. I am sure she won't mind waiting for the sickness to pass.

SockShitter · 17/05/2011 03:42

NEWSFLASH to most of the posters:

some people's pregnancies are worse or even different to yours!

YANBU if you think you will feel shit don't go. Yes, you are pregnant not ill.. but if you are going to spend the concert puking in to the crowd you won't be able to console your self with that will you! I am sure your friend will be pleased to have a free ticket to go to a concert.

congrats btw!