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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask her to take someone else?

213 replies

sofaqueenie · 16/05/2011 14:28

I bought my best friend and I two Take That tickets for 30th June, which we've been really looking forward to.

I've recently discovered that I'm pregnant and it works out I'll be around 13 weeks when we go.

TBH - I really don't want to go now for that reason and a few others. I don't know how to tell her that I don't want to go, but that she's more than welcome to take someone else.

She's been looking forward to it so much with me, and she's confided in me that I'm her only real friend that she likes spending time with, so it makes it a little worse. She knows I'm pregnant, and she's already started to panic about how she's 'going to have to make sure I'm OK' and I just can't be doing with it!

Any advice?

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 16:30

I'm thinking of name changing :o

Original poster
sofaqueenie · 16/05/2011 16:32

It's called sticking up for yourself - I've seen it happen a lot on AIBU.

People ask a question, then it takes off into a completley ridculous facade of slagging off.

I accept that I ABU - but there's no need whatsoever to take the piss out of me. As soon as I stick up for myself I'm seen as aggressive?

Is this the so called MN roylaty I've been hearing an awful lot about recently?

OP posts:
QuintessentialOldMoo · 16/05/2011 16:33

Do you also in real life stick up for yourself by name calling and rudeness?

I think you mistake sticking up for yourself with twattery.

TandB · 16/05/2011 16:35

Op, you've been aggressive throughout the thread. People are disagreeing with you as they are entitled to do.

It sounds to me more as though you 'can't be doing' with your friend than the concert as such.

Highlander · 16/05/2011 16:35

I happily went skiing and kayaking and running when pregnant.

But if I'd had to stand up for hours at a concert, in amongst hot sweaty bodies, I would probably have fainted.

Personally, it wouldn't be my cup of tea.

Original poster
sofaqueenie · 16/05/2011 16:35

If people take the piss out of me to my face, then yes.....yes I do.

OP posts:
MirandaGoshawk · 16/05/2011 16:36

OP - I don't think YABU. Your instinct is that the pregnancy has changed things and you don't want to go. Tell your friend, gently but firmly, ASAP. Surely there will be people biting her hand off for tickets? Can you think of anyone who would be willing to take your place?

Have her round for a DVD/meal or something. Make her understand how you now feel about the concert.

WalterFlipschicks · 16/05/2011 16:36

Sofa... I am going to see them on the 4th June... I will be 35 weeks pregnant with twins!

If you don't want to go then don't, but in the case of this thread, you have been horrendously unreasonable!

GandTiceandaslice · 16/05/2011 16:36

Right, tell your friend asap.
But don't be rude to her if her reaction isn't as you would like.
Adds cybertit to mobile Wink

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 16:36

Sofa your replies to perfectly normal questions have been rude, abrupt and littered with totally unnecessary expletives. That's not sticking up for yourself, that's just rude

But hey, you don't have to justify yourself to me or anyone else it would seem Hmm

WalterFlipschicks · 16/05/2011 16:37

YANBU to not go however....

TheVisitor · 16/05/2011 16:38

I tell you what, I wasn't slagging you off. My first post was just a little incredulous that you'd consider pregnancy a reason to not attend a gig. You drip fed your previous history and then got aggressive when you didn't get the replies you wanted. I'm only taking the piss out of you now as you're lowering yourself to namecalling. As for MN royalty, what's that when it's at home? If you'd given your history in the OP, then I think you would have found more people would have understood your reasons.

As it is, I think you've burned your bridges with regard to getting any sympathy on this particular thread. That happened as soon as you started getting shitty.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 16:39

I'm not even sure I was the cybertittiest person anyway TBH Shock

penguin73 · 16/05/2011 16:40

Isn't the solution a tiny bit obvious? - just tell her the truth! Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks if you have made your mind up. Do it asap so she can find a replacement.

GandTiceandaslice · 16/05/2011 16:42

damn those hormones.

I'm going to see Take That. I blame my sister for buying my ticket.

Do not google cybertits.

TheVisitor · 16/05/2011 16:43

Curry, do you frequent elsewhere with this name? If so, I have a right menagerie in my house. Wink

Glitterknickaz · 16/05/2011 16:44

Honestly OP I just do not see any risky behaviour at a gig like take that. I really don't.

GandTiceandaslice · 16/05/2011 16:44

rabbits in mine MK Wink

Megatron · 16/05/2011 16:45

Don't go if you don't want to. Do you need a bunch of strangers on t'internet to tell you what to do? You clearly only asked because you wanted everyone to say 'No, don't go' and now they haven't, you're rude and obnoxious.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 16/05/2011 16:46

Got to love pregnancy hormones.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 16:47

I do, visitor, I do :o

I see my cybertittery has reached further shores :o

AtTheEndOfTetherAndBeyond · 16/05/2011 16:47

I felt rotten at the start of my pregnancy and I don't think I would've managed to sit/stand through a concert.

How anyone else feels now or 19/24 years ago is totally irrelevant. If you don't feel up to it then don't go.

YANBU

starkadder · 16/05/2011 16:47

Why is everyone being so mean to you?! Crazy.

Of course you shouldn't go if you don't want to, and I totally get why you wouldn't want to.

Maybe explain to her, and instead of telling her to find someone else, say that of course she could do that or, if she prefers, you could sell both tickets and she could come round and you both watch a DVD or something like that? Then it shows you do want to spend time with her, just not out and about standing up and feeling vulnerable and worried.

GandTiceandaslice · 16/05/2011 16:48

I saw manic street preachers when pg with one of mine.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 16:48

Do not google cybertits

That has made me guffaw!