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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask her to take someone else?

213 replies

sofaqueenie · 16/05/2011 14:28

I bought my best friend and I two Take That tickets for 30th June, which we've been really looking forward to.

I've recently discovered that I'm pregnant and it works out I'll be around 13 weeks when we go.

TBH - I really don't want to go now for that reason and a few others. I don't know how to tell her that I don't want to go, but that she's more than welcome to take someone else.

She's been looking forward to it so much with me, and she's confided in me that I'm her only real friend that she likes spending time with, so it makes it a little worse. She knows I'm pregnant, and she's already started to panic about how she's 'going to have to make sure I'm OK' and I just can't be doing with it!

Any advice?

OP posts:
Iwantscallops · 16/05/2011 15:09

It is Take That - not Oasis.

It's more of a scrum getting through your local Tescos on a Saturday afternoon.

firsttimer84 · 16/05/2011 15:09

can i have the ticket?!! I'm 22 weeks and have low bp but i couldnt give up take that tickets!!!! Take a camping chair and some police tape and cordone off an area, with a big arrow pointing to you saying "mind the pregnant one?"

teachermummy2011 · 16/05/2011 15:10

mm maybe widow, I just felt a huge responsiblity when I was pregnant and whilst I didn't lock my self away, but I was really careful about what I did.

I don't think it's irresponsible to have a good time I do think it's irresponsible to put yourself at unnecessary risk and think you don't have to make any changes to your behaviour.

That's it really.

GhostInTheBackOfYourHead · 16/05/2011 15:11

James concert. Shepherd's Bush Empire. Eight months pregnant. Fucking brilliant.

Bucharest · 16/05/2011 15:11

Also, wrt to the standing thing. At 13 weeks, how much extra weight are you carrying? I don't think I was even showing. But at 13 weeks, indeed up to 32 weeks I was on my feet for a damn sight longer all day than a 90 minute Take That concert. Me and every pregnant woman who works in shops, hospitals, schools etc etc.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 15:12

This is a Take That gig at a large stadium, not a 1977 Sex Pistols gig in a pub basement or running the bulls in Pamplona!!

Bucharest · 16/05/2011 15:13

Roffling at unnecessary risk at a Take That do.
Are you scared you might spontaneously launch into "I will-help-hold-back-the-flood" or something? Really risky spontaneous singing.

ObiWan · 16/05/2011 15:14

Eww, I have had four very, very easy pregnancies, and I'm with you on this.
You know best whether you'd be up for an outing like this or not.

I would have given up a whole week of my life at 13wks just to be allowed to sleep. I only had very mild pregnancy sickness, but the thought of having to sit through a concert of any sort would have made things 100 times worse.

Even the thought of it now is making me feel slightly sick.
Anything unusually loud, bright, strong smelling etc would make me feel like death.
Just cancel, give her time to find someone else.
You wouldn't be much company anyway if you felt compelled to be there.

WidowWadman · 16/05/2011 15:15

teachermummy so you felt a "huge responsibility". Do you try to imply that I don't? Biscuit

Vallhala · 16/05/2011 15:16

Didn't realise that Take That gigs had a moshpit.

It's your call, if you want to mocro-manage the next six or so months based on what might happen and The Pregnancy, that's fine by the rest of us. No need to be so arsey about it though.

You wanted advice.

Mine is either:

Go

or

Tell your friend that you won't be going and what you have written here. Can't see the dilemma myself (though I'd also advise you were a little more polite about it than you have been here).

teachermummy2011 · 16/05/2011 15:18

what so nobody reconsidered what they did and how they did it when they were pregnant? Was that really just me?

Oh and fwiw, I don't think there would be a huge risk at a Take That do. But clearly the OP wasn't happy about it and was getting a bit of a hard time for it. I don't think it's unreasonable for someone to reconsider and re-evaluate once they're pregnant.

KaraToytown · 16/05/2011 15:19

I missed a concert at about 11 weeks pregnant because I felt so shit and couldn't bear the thought of standing. However, I didn't decide not to go until near the time.
You shouldn't have any problem finding a last minute taker for a Take That ticket, in my experience.

teachermummy2011 · 16/05/2011 15:19

widow not trying to imply anything, really, just saying that I did feel a huge responsiblity. Don't be so touchy.

Chandon · 16/05/2011 15:22

I think she will be disappointed.

You will be letting her down.

You''ll have to live with the "guilt", but then, she might be cool about it.

TheVisitor · 16/05/2011 15:22

Of course we reconsidered stuff when we were pregnant, but a Take That gig full of near middle aged women where the most dangerous thing is likely to get a pair of bloody knickers thrown near you is hardly treacherous! Grin

DingDongMerrilyOutOfSeason · 16/05/2011 15:22

YABU for not stating in your OP that at 13 weeks in previous pregnancies you have felt sick, tired and not up for anything. Then most people would have said, fair enough, you wont enjoy it. Instead you have been rude and sarcastic.

It sounded like you were saying that you didn't want to go JUST because you would be pregnant and people were only pointing out that a TT concert would probably be no more dangerous than being in a crowded shopping centre/a queue/a pub etc. They thought you were worried and were trying to reassure you.

millie30 · 16/05/2011 15:24

I wouldn't have gone when I was pregnant, but to be fair I had hyperemisis and could barely leave the bathroom for 6 months. YANBU to not want to go, but make sure you give your friend enough notice to find a replacement and don't just drop her in it at the last minute.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 16/05/2011 15:26

Of course we all reconsidered what we did when we were pregnant, Teacher.

I remember asking my MW and trawling through my embarrassingly large library of pregnancy manuals myself when considering whether or not to go to a gig at about 30 wks (I went, btw).

Our point is that Take That pose no threat to unborn children.

BitOfFun · 16/05/2011 15:26

Are you worried about exposing the foetus to worrying levels of cheesy electro-pop?

heather1980 · 16/05/2011 15:28

yabu
i went to see take that on their comback tour at 38 weeks pregnant and again 2 years later at 34 weeks pregnant i had a great time!

follyfoot · 16/05/2011 15:31

This thread is cracking, just cracking Grin

The 'little person' comment made me want to throw up after developing a bad case of twee-ness overdose. And I'm not even pregnant.

Tolalola · 16/05/2011 15:31

Grin @ BoF

SenoritaViva · 16/05/2011 15:32

What about saying you might not be able to go (am I right in remembering that sickness can stop after the first trimester?) but it might be advisable to have a stand in? I wouldn't mind being a stand in and keeping a date free to see if a pregnant woman was up for it.

It wouldn't have crossed my mind to cancel (and am currently 6 weeks pregnant) but that is me not you.

I think either way you've made up your mind though so a little confused as to why you posted.

SenoritaViva · 16/05/2011 15:35

BoF that would be my main worry too!
follyfoot passing you the sick bag but you might miss because I'm giggling too much too
teacher are you insinuating I'm not looking after my 'little person' enough? I'm running, driving and picking up my 4 year old (probably far more taxing than a Take That concert) but thank heavens I'm not drinking or smoking.

BluddyMoFo · 16/05/2011 15:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.