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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask her to take someone else?

213 replies

sofaqueenie · 16/05/2011 14:28

I bought my best friend and I two Take That tickets for 30th June, which we've been really looking forward to.

I've recently discovered that I'm pregnant and it works out I'll be around 13 weeks when we go.

TBH - I really don't want to go now for that reason and a few others. I don't know how to tell her that I don't want to go, but that she's more than welcome to take someone else.

She's been looking forward to it so much with me, and she's confided in me that I'm her only real friend that she likes spending time with, so it makes it a little worse. She knows I'm pregnant, and she's already started to panic about how she's 'going to have to make sure I'm OK' and I just can't be doing with it!

Any advice?

OP posts:
saffy85 · 16/05/2011 16:49

Fair enough. YABU. imo. Which, along with others, you asked for. But really it depends if you really want to go. If you do really want to go (My mate can barely sleep she's so excited about going to see them) then bloody well go- just use the "but I'm pregnant!" excuse the day after so you can get away with doing sod all if you found it all too much. If you don't really want to go, then don't go, using pregnancy as an excuse not to go. It's a win win situation really. You're friend will have NO trouble finding someone else to go, I bet.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 16:51
TheVisitor · 16/05/2011 16:52

Do cybertits belong to fembots?

GandTiceandaslice · 16/05/2011 16:52

clear your history CS. Hmm

GandTiceandaslice · 16/05/2011 16:53

I've no idea what fembots are but I'm not googling those for fear of my pc exploding.

MarianneM · 16/05/2011 16:57

OP, you still haven't said what it is that you're afraid of at the gig (apart from exposing your poor little one to terrible music)? Do you think the noise will affect her? Well it won't! I went to the first night of the proms when heavily pregnant and the music was LOUD! During a particularly loud and exciting organ piece by Messiaen DD1 started kicking furiously - I think she enjoyed it too! She loves music now, and often asks for Brahms, Bach, Ravel...

YABVU by the way, your poor friend.

MarianneM · 16/05/2011 16:58

P.S. I'm beginning to think you started this thread just to get a fight going...nothing better to do?

TheVisitor · 16/05/2011 17:01

S'ok G&T, female robots off austin powers who have guns in their tits. Grin

ellie21 · 16/05/2011 17:03

For the record I don't think YABU. I am 38 weeks pregnant and this week I'd love to be able to go to a Take That concert. However when I was 12 weeks pregnant I felt awful and my priority was looking after myself not going out with friends. If your friend is a good friend she will understand.
I am sure there are lots of people who have run marathons/climbed Everest etc etc when pregnant but if you don't feel up to going to a concert, don't go. Just let your friend know well in advance.

funkybuddah · 16/05/2011 17:08

I think it would be fine to go, stand at the side/back.

I went to a3 day festival at 5 months pregnant, sleeping on the floor of a tent, all was fine.

Standing for 2 ish hours, you will be fine also I had to do 8hrs when busy at work.

But despite this you may just not wasn't to go so you may as well tell her that you just won't feel like it, maybe plan something for after the baby is born to take the edge off?

manticlimactic · 16/05/2011 17:12

Marianne she has a history of mc. Which she didn't mention in the OP Hmm

YANBU not to want to go now, that's your prerogative but you may feel differently nearer the time. Just tell your mate to have a back up and if she doesn't want to go without you..the only true friend she has..then sell the tickets.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 16/05/2011 17:18

Right, so you've suffered multiple miscarriages. It did cross my mind that this might be the case tbh - and it puts your comment disputing foetuses being well protected into context.

It also absolutely explains your reluctance to go to this concert. I sincerely doubt that going would endanger your pregnancy - although you must confirm that with your mw or an obstetrician.

If you decide against going then don't use pregnancy as an excuse - use your history of miscarriage as a reason.

fwiw I don't think anyone here was mean. We took the piss a bit, but wouldn't you if you thought someone was going to miss out on something fun because they were being daft?

everlong · 16/05/2011 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 18:12

Hardly abuse! mild piss taking!

everlong · 16/05/2011 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
sofaqueenie · 16/05/2011 18:20

Why should I have stated that I have had a few miscarridges in my OP? What the hell does my past suffering have to do with this?

...and yes Marianne - you are soooooo right....ffs

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 16/05/2011 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 16/05/2011 18:21

I'd classify it as mild ribbing with a touch of well meaning get-a-grippery.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 18:23

Awww! MN have deleted my cybertittery :(

Original poster
sofaqueenie · 16/05/2011 18:24

I didn't to begin with MoFo!

OP posts:
JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 16/05/2011 18:26

Read my post, the one above your last one, op.

everlong · 16/05/2011 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 18:27

NO. But you did later. And if you had explained yourself right from the start OP you may have got the response you clearly wanted all along a much more sympathetic hearing rather than "I don't want to go because I'm pg"

TBH I can understand your subsequent reasoning, but your OP was a bit less understandable.

Your pissy attitude throughout though, remains a mystery Hmm

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 16/05/2011 18:28

Blardy x-posting!

Original poster
sofaqueenie · 16/05/2011 18:31

Cybertit - have you not read my previous posts ffs?

I don't appreciate being taken the piss out of - hence my 'pissy' attitude.

OP posts: