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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask her to take someone else?

213 replies

sofaqueenie · 16/05/2011 14:28

I bought my best friend and I two Take That tickets for 30th June, which we've been really looking forward to.

I've recently discovered that I'm pregnant and it works out I'll be around 13 weeks when we go.

TBH - I really don't want to go now for that reason and a few others. I don't know how to tell her that I don't want to go, but that she's more than welcome to take someone else.

She's been looking forward to it so much with me, and she's confided in me that I'm her only real friend that she likes spending time with, so it makes it a little worse. She knows I'm pregnant, and she's already started to panic about how she's 'going to have to make sure I'm OK' and I just can't be doing with it!

Any advice?

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 16/05/2011 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 14:44

Blimey OP we were only asking

You've obviously decided what to do so not sure why you asked really!!

teachermummy2011 · 16/05/2011 14:46

Well unfortunately it seems to be the 'done thing' that when you get pregnant you should carry on just as before and not let a little thing like being pregnant stop you.

I think that sometimes people forget that 'being pregnant' means being 100% responsible for the tiny person whose doing their very best to grow just as they should inside you and they don't need their mother (of all people) jeapordising that.

Just my opinion anyway!

If you want her to take someone else, just tell her. If she's the friend to you she claims you are to her, she'll understand even if she is disappointed.

Good luck with the pregnancy.

MooMooFarm · 16/05/2011 14:46

sofaqueenie I think unless you have a really good reason you're being a bit of a meanie to your friend TBH. You agreed to go and bought the ticket (and so did she) and she's hardly going to want to go on her own now is she? Chances are the sickness will be going off by then - and have you tried contacting the 02 to ask if there is anywhere you will be able to sit down?

If not make sure you tell her soon so she has time to sell her ticket - or maybe you could find someone to replace you?

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 16/05/2011 14:48

You didn't mention the sickness. A bit of nausea would be bearable I should think but if you get it badly then I can understand not wanting to go.

wrt standing - I don't really see the issue, particularly not at 14 weeks.

Money - you have the ticket already, no? Will transport cost a lot then?

sleepingsowell · 16/05/2011 14:49

I wouldn't have cancelled anything at 13/ 14 weeks - however at that stage I went out for a works 'do' at a really loud pub/music venue and it was totally bizarre but I didn't enjoy it at all; this is going to be really hard to explain but I just felt....vulnerable Blush and fed up and felt hyper sensitive to the noise, and the smells......

pregnancy is a funny old time, no it's not an illness but it is a unique time and as women we should allow each other the courtesy of trying to understand even what might seem odd to others. imo.

You're giving her some notice, so she can take someone else so no real inconvenience done.

TheVisitor · 16/05/2011 14:50

Ah FFS, if you post it in AIBU you're going to get a whole plethora of opinions. I still think you ARE BU and I've had 4 kids. These little babies are actually well protected inside us, you know. Mother Nature designed us that way. Enjoy staying at home.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 16/05/2011 14:51

teachermummy in what possible way might Take That pose a risk to a tiny person whose doing their very best to grow?

Original poster
sofaqueenie · 16/05/2011 14:53

These little babies are actually well protected inside us, you know. Mother Nature designed us that way

Really? Christ that's a new one to me........

Well done on having 4 kids, makes you an expert then?

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 14:55

Bloody hell OP you are seriously CROSS!! And sarky! And really rather rude!

TheVisitor · 16/05/2011 14:56

Sofa, I think you need to take your rather rude head out of your arse and toddle to get on with your pregnancy. Jog on.

Lady1nTheRadiator · 16/05/2011 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FoxyRevenger · 16/05/2011 14:58

I get it. When I was pregnant I felt so tired the whole time that I wanted to die.

The thought of doing anything in the evening that didn't involve pjyamas and an ER dvd made me want to cry.

If you feel to shit to go, just say so. She's your best mate, surely she will understand?

teachermummy2011 · 16/05/2011 14:59

Well that was a specific response to the OP about some people's attitudes towards pregnancy and the idea that pregnant women shouldn't modify their behaviour or actions at all. I just think they should and that if someone is feeling uncertain about what they should do, then then should listen to those doubts.

macdoodle · 16/05/2011 14:59

Dont post on AIBU unless you can take being told yes YABU!
Personally I think YABU, I worked till I was 38 weeks with DD2, and went to see Meatloaf miles aways from home mid trimester. Its up to you of course but be honest with your friend.

CurrySpice · 16/05/2011 15:00

I don't care if she's pregnant or not, or how much, she's fucking rude

GetOrfMoiCase · 16/05/2011 15:01

Christ, what a misery you are.

Don't go then, nobody really gives a monkeys.

WidowWadman · 16/05/2011 15:02

teachermummy pregnancy doesn't mean that you have to wrap yourself in cotton wool, in fact, unless you have complications such as SPD, hyperemisis etc, then pregnancy stops you very little from doing anything you like (unless it's a unpasteurised goats cheese with calvados festival...)

Going to a pop concert certainly does not pose harm to the unborn, unless you have an accident while you drive there, but then you wouldn't really lock yourself in for the duration of pregnancy, would you?

Not wanting to go is one thing, but making it out to be irresponsible to have a good time, when you now are becoming a mummy, is idiotic.

Fwiw, I went to see Wonderstuff and Levellers at 28 weeks, and all I did was keeping away from the moshpit, and having a great time...

GetOrfMoiCase · 16/05/2011 15:03

Actually, seeing that you bought the tickets in the first place, why don't you SELL them both and buy some stuff for your bubz. Smile

Don't tell your friend until the day before.

mycatoscar · 16/05/2011 15:03

OP, where are you seeing them?

I am going to wembly in july and we have standing stickets but last time I went this also meant we had access to unreserved seating at the foot of the stalls area (think thats what to call it), if you get there early enough you can bag yourselves a couple of seats for entire performance

QuackQuackBoing · 16/05/2011 15:03

I wouldn't go so can see why you wouldn't want to. The constant need to find a loo would be enough to put me off, plus getting squash and pushed.

ENormaSnob · 16/05/2011 15:05

Yabu

your excuses are weak IMO.

JanMorrow · 16/05/2011 15:06

haha, hilarious thread. Why did you even start it OP?!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 16/05/2011 15:06

Really? Christ that's a new one to me........ Really, OP? Read a few pregnancy manuals maybe Confused

TM Nobody has suggested that women shouldn't modify their behaviour at all during pregnancy. But there's a world of difference between gorging on gorgonzola, Rioja and Capstan Full Strength, possibly preceded by a touch of skydiving; and attending a Take That concert.

And the OP is bloody rude.

Bucharest · 16/05/2011 15:07

You've already made your mind up, so don't see why you needed a thread?

YANBU if you don't want to go.Don't go. But YABU to get all snarky with people on here who are questioning your first-woman-ever-to-have-a-baby attitude. You ought to still pay for the ticket though as you're dissing your friend and landing her in it. Oh, but you didn't want to pay for the ticket,did you......oooh dilemma.