to think mealtimes are a time for families to catch up and talk about their day?

[saidthespiderwithahorridsmile]

this isn't a judgemental thread about not eating together - we don't always manage it, life intervenes and sometimes it's a question of grabbing something/stuffing something into the kids

but when we do eat together, we talk and it's one of the only times we get where everybody is available for conversation

my stepfather believed mealtimes should be undertaken in silence, he used to "let's have a bit less talk and a bit more eat" if an embryonic conversation started

the only sound permitted at "the dinner table" was him periodically roaring at one of us about our table manners

does anyone still do this?

We have quite a few meals at the table together and it is important. We even do the what was your high/low thing sometimes .. cheesey and most of the comments are crap like high was having pizza for lunch and low was going to school but sometimes it creates a lovely conversation or something is revealed.

My husband recently suggested getting a TV in the dining room .... my stare shut him up and he hasn't asked since! Before anyone says I am being too up myself, we do have dinner in front of the TV sometimes!

my dh's father preferred to eat in silence (doesn't anymore, thankfully) or with civilised conversation. so dh and bil would spend all dinner time trying to get their mother to snort with laughter, thereby winding up fil....

ours, on the other hand, were a chaotic free-for-all. 7 kids and laid-back parents, all chatting at once. much more fun!

now dh, myself and the two dcs aim for supper together every night and yes, i agree, great chance to chat.

my brother was forever getting bawled at/smacked/sent away from the table without his dinner

because he is highly strung and nervous, and used to react to the horrible pregnant silences by getting fits of the giggles, poor sod

I can't imagine doing that with my children, I LIKE talking to them

does anyone know anyone who still believes you shouldn't talk at mealtimes?

I do remember one of the ex-boyfriends of my friend (who has terrible taste) getting very wound up by my children being allowed to talk at mealtimes, but we just ignored him

Tea (am northern-see name!) at the table every night, unless poorly.
No-one is too busy to cook, and no-one is too busy to eat proper food at a table.
Nothing will ever persuade me otherwise.
I grew up that way, and I am from a big family so meals could go on a long time (and be late on the table due to 2 working parents) but they always happened.
Its where I learned how to have a heated debate!

Agree with you.

DH is a bit old school - he seems to think that the dining table is some form of altar on which to worship I would rather have a relaxed happy meal where standards are allowed to slip sometimes, than everyone behaving like robots and not enjoying themselves.

Dinner yes. We've always had staggered breakfasts though. I'm often up an hour before DS, so get his breakfast ready. Unfortunately, he often has dinner/tea at nursery, so miss out on that, unless he's particularly hungry (they have tea 3:45 there... Come 5:45, I'm not suprised if he's famished)

The only rule we had regarding speech at the dinner table was "don't talk with your mouth full". Probably why it took me an hour to eat, sometimes...

This begs the question.
If you have one child who has a bed time before or close to when dh comes home from work and, therefore, must have an earlier mealtime ...who eats alone...child or dh?

I dunno academic, I think there is no ideal way

personally if my dh is getting home late I prefer to eat with him - but I will be there-or-thereabouts while the kids are having theirs

I honestly didn't start this thread to get at people not eating as a family - we don't always do it either

tbh my stepfather used to listen to make sure we weren't talking when it was just us kids eating as well!

Dinner with child. pudding with DH!

Bloody hell, I dont give my dh pudding lol

We all read through meals. V uncivilised yet strangely pleasant.

In that case, academic, I'd try to ensure that there was at least one meal eaten as a whole family at the weekend.

Whilst my dad worked offshore, my mum wouldn't eat in the evenings. So, me and DB would eat together. Likewise, if her and Dad were going out for the evening.

Breakfast is done as a free for all.

We don't often eat tea together due to different commitments eg DH works until at least 6.45 or up to 9.30 depending on what he is doing, I wok some evenings and DS works 2 nights.
BUT we eat out in nice restaurants very frequently (couple of nights a week) and make an evening off it so we all chat about our lives and have a good giggle together.

unfortunately my dining table is permanently stacked with ironing to be done, so we have to eat on our laps :)

I want to move in with Hully please...

Dh works shifts so isn't often at home when ds and I eat - when he is though we tend to eat in the front room on laps and chat/watch telly. When it's just me and ds we sit at the table at he tells me about his day all the new swear words he has learned at school

I grew up in house all sitting round the table, quietly and lots of glaring going on........sigh....... even know i can hear the sound of knives scraping on the plates.....shudder........

Nice and relaxed in this house!

Breakfast and lunch are quite relaxed here, though always at the table, sometimes we have the tv on or are reading/doing other things. Ds and I don't always have lunch together either, I sometimes eat mine while he's napping. Then he might have his with the tv on while i'm clearing up or something. Dinner, however - we have a no tv rule, and try and discuss our days. It's similar to how we did things when I was growing up. Dh's family, however, ate every meal apart from sunday lunch on trays in front of the tv.

Well OP YANBU. I totally agree that sit down family meals are very often the only time family members get to look at and talk to those blurred people who rush past them all day. We do it every night and it's good training for the kids for eating in company.

However- my 4 yr old DS immeidately starts talking 19 to the dozen the second his bum hits the seat so that we were all answering him and talking back when we are starving. He got really excitable and literally wouldn't pause for breath. In the end we had to say first ten minutes for eating then we can all do best bits and worst bits about our day.

I don't beleive children should be seen and not heard and I endorse chat at the table but this really was ridiculous like he was having a talking fit non stop. Aaaargh!

I was brought up in a house where you neither drank anything at the table including water or talked.

I find it hard to drink whilst eating, and even more I find it hard to talk whilst eating, because it has been imprinted on me it is rude.

Unfortunately we aren't always able to sit and eat as a family, however, when we do there is chatter. I grew up in a "no talking at the table" family and hated it.

Eating in silence is so weird. Why did people do that?

we had the no water rule as well

my parents thought if you had water at the table you were deliberately "filling up on water" and wouldn't eat your food

I remember the terror of sneaking up to get a drink and being bellowed at from the next room

it's weird isn't it?

Fabby what was the reason for no drinking at the table?

Nesta, he sounds adorable!

DS gives me a running commentary on what he's eating. He sat there the other day talking to his sausage, saying "you're going in my tummy".

Fabby, that's a shame, really. I do think it's important to enjoy mealtimes.