to think mealtimes are a time for families to catch up and talk about their day?

[saidthespiderwithahorridsmile]

this isn't a judgemental thread about not eating together - we don't always manage it, life intervenes and sometimes it's a question of grabbing something/stuffing something into the kids

but when we do eat together, we talk and it's one of the only times we get where everybody is available for conversation

my stepfather believed mealtimes should be undertaken in silence, he used to "let's have a bit less talk and a bit more eat" if an embryonic conversation started

the only sound permitted at "the dinner table" was him periodically roaring at one of us about our table manners

does anyone still do this?

that's as maybe Noel, but it's no fun trying to force down a big plate of dry peanut butter sandwiches when you are thirsty!

Peanut butter sangers YUM spider we had pigeon pie blerk!! We NEEDED water. I can't imagine peanut butter without a drink!

We try and eat together at night as often as possible. We eat around 6:45pm once DH is home from work. 9y DD has pretty much always eated late with us and just has a small snack after school.

It isn't always possible though. More and more DD's activities get in the way - so two days a week after school she has to eat alone so she can go to a club later. And on a Friday she has two friends round and they eat together earlier. We eat with their parents later on.

But whenever we can we do eat together and we use the time to chat together, especially about our day/week. It's a lovely social family time here and one we all like, especially DD.

When I was growing up we did eat together, and talked. But there were three children so it was more hectic a times I guess.

I have found expectations of pleasant mealtimes as a time to chat have led to terrible disappointment! DC try to obliterate any conversation between me and dh, and tend to answer 'poo' to any questions about their day...ds rarely remains seated for more than 2 minutes at a time...it's usually awful.

I was shocked to hear they are not supposed to talk either at school dinners, or at after school club when having tea there! A shame I think, as it is training them that meals are not a social occasion.

Valium, if you add sliced banana to peanut butter sandwiches it unsticks the palate. I'd still want a drink though.

Oh God, I can't think of anything worse than banana in a sandwich ( apart from no water with a meal!)

As a child we always sat at the table to eat and chatted - dad was sometimes late home, so mum ate with us, and Dad ate his (dried-up pre-microwave) meal when he came home.

Now, we eat with the DDs (at 6.30-7pm) and talk all the time. We do sometimes get to the point where a child is told to be quiet and do some eating please! If Dh and I aren't eating with the children one of us (usually me) sits down with a cup of coffee to talk to the DCs while they eat.

Mind you, I could do with some advice on resetting the timer on DD1's bowels - she always needs a poo in the middle of tea She suffered from constipation a lot when she was very small, so we were just so pleased when she outgrew it. Now, it would be nice to have one meal where she doesn't slope off for a poo in the middle of it........

Poledra I sympathise - ds was a regular dinner-pooer right from potty training up to a few months ago (6.3 now). (He now goes for a really long one just before bedtime, which means he always gets to bed late!)

halfcaff - does your DC's school ask for no talking at lunch time? How awful if so. I work at an infant school and the dinner hall is full of chatter between the children; likewise at DD's school.

TBH if that was my child's school i would be going in to ask about that policy.

Yes Hula I was wondering if ds had made that up - I think I will enquire to see if it is true!

the kids eat at 5pm and dh and i eat at 6:30 when he gets home from work, but we all eat together on a sunday at the table, but my kids are 2 and 4 and they go to bed at 7pm so a later dinner is too close to bed and they are usually chomping on their arms by 5!

We pretty much always eat dinner together. Most of the times it is really pleasant, we chat and laugh etc.

I also like to eat lunch on my own, as I adore eating and reading at the same time.

we only sit and eat a meal round the table once to twice a week - though we do eat out together once or twice a week as well.

However apart from ds school and me work we spend all our time together (dh is a sahd and dd is a baby) - evenings and weekends And we talk alot. So even if ds does eat his dinner in front of the telly - he'll be chatting to us at the same time.

I appreciate this is easy to do while they are young and will probably change when they want to spend their spare time hanging out wiht their friends, but I'll make the most of it for now. Family time is very important to me.

At home we always had to have dinner at the table, but then everyone was so busy all the time it was the only time we spent together. I hate that. Plus my family are awful so it was mostly spent rowing and fighting.

I was one of those strange children who preferred to be quiet at the dinner table: I preferred to concentrate on eating or else reading (I was quite a bookworm). I still prefer it (I love eating alone) but for the sake of my DD I agree to a social table .

To add to my previous post, DH also likes reading at the table and often, when DD is in bed and DH and I are having dinner together then we'll eat and read and occasionally share what we're reading with each other. I really like it.

We eat at about 7pm every night, usually we all sit on the living room floor, DP and I chat, DDs wander round/join in the chatting/chat to ponies. It is fairly chaotic, but I like it. The late time works well for us as we're all night owls (DDs are HEd so no need to be up early) and we love having the long evenings with DP.

We tend to do the 'how was your day' stuff over a cuppa before we finish cooking the dinner.

DH is often not home before 7.30 even 11:30, so I eat with dd and dh has his when he comes home (or eats while he's at work).

When dh is home at a reasonable time or on a rest day we eat together.

I've never really understood doing tea for children and then cooking again for the adults later - sounds like a lot of work and washing up to me, but maybe it makes more sense if you have several children.

We nearly always sit and eat together but I must admit I am often guilty of rushing through mealtimes so I can get on with the next thing that needs doing

And dd often needs to be reminded to eat as well as talk.

I agree our table is full of laughs and sometimes tears, meal time is one of the few half hours when we chat all together and catch up, we dont manage it every night but usually around 4/5 times a week depending on work and kids activities etc

We always eat together round the kitchen table; to be honest it is one of my great pleasures. We all chat about our day, help ourselves to food placed in the middle of the table, argue, debate, plan stuff. Occasionally one of the kids will be off doing their own thing or quite often we will have a couple of extras.
Some of the kids' friends have apparently been a bit intimidated at first to eat at the table family-style and there's also been a bit of mickey taking: "Oh your family is so old fashioned cute eating at the table", kind of thing. My kids are not bothered, they would consider a ready meal in front of the telly a mild form of child abuse.

it was the same with other things too - not allowed to go to the toilet in the night etc

I am at that!

Not allowed to go to the toilet at night? I am just shaking my head at that!

What else?

wow said the spider was your dad in the mitary forces he sounds like mine did. No elbows on the table and made sure I sat up and stick your napkin on your lap. I was alond to talk those. I think eating as a family and table manner are very important if you dont sit around the table when you can, how are you going to learn how to eat in a nice resturant. It is really sad everyone sitting eating in frount of the tv errhh.

moonmin I know what you mean because of my strict childhood table manners which now Im thankful for I would feel sticking my daughter in frount of the tv with a mircowave meal and mild form of child abuse to

Can't imagine a meal together and not talk!

We try and eat together as often as we can but with a 4 year old and dh who works long hours and isn't often home till after 8pm it's difficult. We always have Friday night dinner together and breakfast/lunch over the weekend. We try and eat out with the dc too.

But I wouldn't say mealtimes are the only times we're all together. We do a lot together as a family - outings, just being at home etc so plenty of opportunity for talking.

" I would feel sticking my daughter in frount of the tv with a mircowave meal and mild form of child abuse to"
No it's not, don't be so stupid. Might not be great but abuse? Get a grip.