to think mealtimes are a time for families to catch up and talk about their day?

[saidthespiderwithahorridsmile]

this isn't a judgemental thread about not eating together - we don't always manage it, life intervenes and sometimes it's a question of grabbing something/stuffing something into the kids

but when we do eat together, we talk and it's one of the only times we get where everybody is available for conversation

my stepfather believed mealtimes should be undertaken in silence, he used to "let's have a bit less talk and a bit more eat" if an embryonic conversation started

the only sound permitted at "the dinner table" was him periodically roaring at one of us about our table manners

does anyone still do this?

Because if you drank at the same time as eating you wouldn't eat your dinner and be full up with water.

I still now don't drink anything with my dinner.

Blimey. Nice. And what was the resaon behind the no talking?

I thought only nuns and monks ate in silence!

We were allowed to talk at the table when I was a child, but my parents only ever talked about really boring things like house prices, and never really included us in the conversation or asked us about our day.

We eat together most evenings now ds is old enough. I chat away with him, but dh seems to see mealtimes as a "refuelling stop", eats really quickly then leaves the table as soon as he can. He doesn't talk much, except to tell ds off for things (and ds is pretty well-behaved). Our most relaxed mealtimes are when dh is away and it's just ds and myself there. We opften have really interesting conversations (he is 10).

We sit and eat together at dinner time - sometimes all of us, sometimes just me and the DC if DH is late.

We have a no TV, no phones, no reading rule too.

We chat about our days and all sorts of other things.

I would hate to sit and eat in silence, and couldn't cope at all without a glass of water - I ahve to have one with my meal!

I think it depends wholly on how the rest of your lives pan out. We're a very sociable chatty family so meal times aren't the only time we all have a chin wag, and sometimes I DO prefer less chat more action at mealtimes (other times I like more chat - depends who's cooked!) but definitely if its the only time of day everyone is in the same place at the same time, it shouldn't be slient.... my preference is that dinnertime should be chatty, better than silence.

I don't always insist we eat together, but we do enjoy a few long mealtimes a week. We do spend a lot of family time together though.

Water was the only reason I managed to eat some of my child hood dinners!

I dont eat at the table every night but I think its strange that some people only spend the time all together is when they are eating. There is no such thing as silence at any time in our place! We live in a flat though so are all together the majority of the time in a relatively small space.

Please tell me, no-talker survivors, what reason was given for it. Am v interested.

Hully do you all read round the table? I am intrigued and trying to imagine it!

my stepfather just thought it was rude

and like the no water thing, they seemed incredibly uptight about the idea that we wouldn't eat quickly enough if we were allowed to do anything else

I think he thought we were on a malicious mission to avoid eating our dinner

it was the same with other things too - not allowed to go to the toilet in the night etc

I think water is ther only way DS survives some of my cooking

Please tell me, no-talker survivors, what reason was given for it. Am v interested

BECAUSE NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO CHIT CHAT/GIGGLE/ HAVE FUN AND MUST CONCENTRATE ON EATING!!!!!!! AMEN!

the worst bit was the being stood over and ordered to eat something you were literally gagging on - I used to beg for water to help force it down, but to no avail

bastard

Not allowed to go to the toilet at night? OMG that is horrible

I send you glitter and love.

Valium - yes, dc read their books and me and dh read books/paper. Not when we have guests, obviously.

you do make up for it Hully, MN makes up for everything

and I take particular pleasure in making sure my dc have a lovely jug of drink to help themselves to with their dinner!

I tend to eat a snack with the children (like a couple of spoons / bits of what they are having) then have full dinner with DH later - he's too late home during the week to eat with them (but they are still very young)

On the weekends we eat together, and we talk. We tend to eat at the kitchen table in an informal manner rather than at the dining room table in a formal way, mainly due once again to their young age and my precious precious carpet.

But it is informal and relaxed and we talk, though I do sometimes say "less talking and more eating" to my 3 year old who can talk the hind leg off a donkey but also who would survive on a diet of dust and air if you let him.

The no water thing seems silly to me, inlaws did this with nieces and nephews. Okay so they were really bad eaters (picky, whingey, etc all beyond the "normal" age for being so) but still...squash or fizz I can understand, but you dont tend to overdrink water for the greed of it, its kinda designed so it satisfies your thirst and that's that. Nature made it not that moreish for a reason! So what a pile of arse that rule is.

I do sometimes find myself

Oh! That seems so bizarre but I'm not sure why Hully!

where? where do you find yourself mostly?

I often find myself pouring wine, not ol water.

Oh dont know what that last sentence was meant to be. Sod it.

Valium - does it? It's very peaceful!! We do still talk or show each other bits in the paper etc, and we talk a hell of a lot in general, but reading and eating just seem to go together.

spider, is stepfather still around?

I think my husband would happily not chat-but we force him to