paying for someone else's honeymoon...

[Mumtomaybebabybella]

I can't decide how I feel about this.

I have had two wedding invitations this week. The first one had TWO gift list requests in it - one for JLewis and one for trailfinders.

The second one has a link to a website where I can make a cash contribution to the couple's honeymoon in the Maldives OR buy them one of a selection of things such as a massage on honeymoon or a boat trip.

I suppose I just feel that I paid for my own honeymoon, honeymoon meals and excursions so why should I pay for someone else's?

I should also mention that we would be required to travel quite a distance to the second wedding and pay for a hotel, etc.

It says on the invite that our presence is gift enough - but it clearly isn't , is it?

I'm sure I'll be flamed. I'm just not keen on paying for someone else's luxury holiday tbh, though I will do it in both cases.

'on honey'.

yak.

I personally would find it very odd if I received a wedding invite 'without' a list. I have only experienced this once, but that was only because we were travelling overseas for the wedding, and the B&G obviously knew that was a big enough expense on it's own.

Everyone has different opinions of this, so I think you will all just have to agree to disagree on this one.
There is NO NEED to get personal and throw insults to people either side.
This thread asked a simple question, there is no need to bitch about people on either side.

We didn't expect anything, but yes, we had our honeymoon paid for, it is more modern these days to do that than a traditional wedding list due to how long couple are together before they wed (10 years for us).

Yes, we had a couple of people that didn't want to do that, and we got champagne etc from them (which is still in the cupboard almost 4 years later I might add!!!!)

We did get some gifts that we will NEVER use, and I don't even know where they are (placemats and chopping board I think), but we did have a gift of newspapers from the day we were married, which was absolutely bloody fantastic!!!!

At the end of the day, you don't have to give a gift, it is a gesture. The same way I wouldn't turn up at a friends house for dinner without a bottle of wine or some beers. I would rather give something that the B&G want, or give nothing at all.

The toaster is a long standing joke, I don't know where it comes from although if you Google it all the links are .co.uk so I assume it's a British joke. The joke being that the couple ends up with 10 toasters. No one genuinely thinks they will end up with ten toasters - although it has happened!

I've never actually seen a "demand" for a wedding present*, can someone give an example of wording from a gift list that demanded people buy from it?

All the ones I've received have been suggestions what they need, I like them because once it's been bought the item comes off the list and you don't get ten from the list toasters I've bought things off list before and never had any complaints and even not bought a present when the couple has said the whole "your presence is present enough" thing and as they were two established houses I didn't see any reason to disagree with them (I was also broke at the time).

*Excluding the Babyzilla thread

Fit, no rush my wedding's not for another year but I would be grateful

YABU

they have clearly said that your presence is enough, they are not asking/insisting that you or anyone give them money or buy them anything

We said the same, and meant it, but people like and want to give money/gift/whatever so it is perfectly reasonable to put a note in saying that if you WANT to buy us something/contribute then here's how

Friends did this recently and it was far nicer to give them something towards the trip of a lifetime that a bit of tat that would sit in their loft for years...

And if you can only afford £10, or £5 then just give that, no doubt they can afford to pay for it themselves and will do if no one gives them any money :)if you just want to go then do, no one is saying you are obliged to do anything other than turn up

Confuddled appologies to other posters for hijack

Ok I spoke to DD, it was HOPS, they specialise in couples holidays.. mostly cruises but they do flights as well. DD went to kerudu Maldives .
their holiday pics show it is fantastic but I am sure there are plenty of web sites .

DD said that most holiday companies do the honeymoon donation thing now though. They went with HOPS because of them specialising in couples and the service was fantastic all the way through.

Have pmed you too. :)

Thanks fit - and your daughter!

i would think 'great how easy'.No choosing what to get or wrapping up!