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AIBU?

to wonder why some mnetters are so rude??

252 replies

workinggally · 10/05/2011 13:39

New to mumsnet (and mothering!) and shocked by the contents of some of the threads. Swearing/ bullying etc. But at baby groups people usually seem friendly and aren't swearing and cursing or being overly agressive. So - are the agressive types like that in RL or is it just a front for mnet?? And if it's just a front - why?

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workinggally · 10/05/2011 14:24

I still don't really understand why some people are excessively vulgar.

Does the fact that no one knows who you are really make it ok?

It a bit like bitching behind a friend's back. Does the fact they'll never find out make it ok?

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Gooseberrybushes · 10/05/2011 14:24

Not something I've seen Pag so I don't know.

Someone was being called paranoid and a silly parent for being worried about water safety - I thought that was pretty dangerous advice tbh so stuck around.

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AgentZigzag · 10/05/2011 14:26

I didn't mean on the thread you're talking about gooseberry, I meant if you find posters to be so aggressive why are you still on MN?

I've never had any shit thrown at me either, but if you're telling people to fuck off because you disagree with them it does sound as though you're the type of poster we're/I'm talking about.

Is it possible for lots of anonymous strangers to bully another anonymous stranger?

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workinggally · 10/05/2011 14:27

I wouldn't type anything I wouldn't be happy with my children reading. Or my partner. Just find it odd so many other people would.

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AuntieMonica · 10/05/2011 14:27

nope, i'm quite capable of being as vulgar in RL

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Hullygully · 10/05/2011 14:28

because they're all cunts. fact.

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AgentZigzag · 10/05/2011 14:28

hehe at excessive vulgarity

The posters on here have no taste whatsoever.

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Gooseberrybushes · 10/05/2011 14:29

Why do you think I mean all posters are aggressive?

I don't. I'm saying aggression, unnecessary hostility and bullying happen. People are saying it doesn't. I'm saying it does.

I don't tell other people to fuck off. I just said that.

Yes of course it's possible for people to try. To see if they can shut someone up by being nasty.

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AgentZigzag · 10/05/2011 14:29

Children are not welcome on MN OP.

Thank fuck.

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PinotGrigiosKittens · 10/05/2011 14:29

workinggally you sound fun to only have one aspect of your personality. We must meet up for a booze-up cuppa tea and a bitchy gossip nice chat about needlework

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Gooseberrybushes · 10/05/2011 14:30

ZZ you seem to be saying, put up or shut up. Go away if you can't stand up for yourself.

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Hullygully · 10/05/2011 14:30

I have been horribly bullied many times, but I try to stay positive and not let all the old parents get to me.

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izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 10/05/2011 14:31

In the short time that I've been lurking/responding on this site I've read threads that are nothing short of knicker-wetting hilarious, some where the empathy and compassion extended to the OP is profoundly moving, and others where there is much to be gained from the reassurance of knowing that there are so many like-minded individuals 'out there'.

Thanks to mumsnet's lack of unnecessary and unwelcome censorship, I can't imagine deriving as much from any other internet site. In fact my only concern is that it's so bloody addictive I can't stop logging on to read the latest gems.

Present company excepted, I have a theory that the bullies and right-on tub thumpers that proliferate some internet sites suffer from lack of quality of life and/or lack of power in their real lives.

They're most probably seething with frustration at being weak saddos who wouldn't say boo to a goose, or obnoxious nutters who've been ostracised by friends/family etc.

I can understand that some might simply be in a foul mood or having an off day when fingers meet keyboards, but there isn't any excuse for persistent downright nastiness.

mumsnet rocks.

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workinggally · 10/05/2011 14:32

I don't have only 1 aspect. But I don't believe you can be a genuine trustworthy person if you preach one thing and then do another so deliberately and repeatedly.

If you wouldn't want your children behaving like this how can you think it's ok?

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BitOfFun · 10/05/2011 14:32

It's nothing like bitching behind people's back. Everybody can see it. It is written down.

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GnomeDePlume · 10/05/2011 14:32

My first ventures on to mumsnet were in the education section during half term (teachersnet!). It was a rather bruising experience! Since then I have changed my username as I suspect it affected how some people responded to my posts.

On the whole I dont think that there is a lot of bullying though TBH I have seen some. The thread to which Goose is referring did become unpleasant which was rather a shame as the topic was interesting and worthy of debate.

Personally I dont swear because I get it out of my system in real life!

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FabbyChic · 10/05/2011 14:33

I don't type anything that I wouldn't say in public, I don't come on and become someone else, posting here takes the niceties out of things though, you might be more reasonable in public. Here you only get one voice and in some cases only one opportunity to post your view on a thread, so go to it!

I like it here, albeit not a lot like me! But I am a sweetie really.

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BitOfFun · 10/05/2011 14:33

I don't want my children to snort cocaine off Jack Sparrow's naked body. Doesn't mean I wouldn't be up for it given half a chance.

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Hullygully · 10/05/2011 14:33

Swearing shows a poor vocabulary.

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MardyBra · 10/05/2011 14:33

I found the style of MN unusual to start with - and once started a similar thread to yours when I was a newbie (although with more humour I would add). I was shocked and amused at the same time. Now, I'm generally just amused.

If you lurk for a bit you'll understand who gets flamed and why. It's only a small percentage of posters who get a hard time, and generally they are in AIBU and are actually being unreasonable.

As for swearing that's just part of the culture here. It's a case of accepting, ignoring or leaving.

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Gooseberrybushes · 10/05/2011 14:33

Izzywhizzy is right, for the most part. But there's dross too. I don't why people find that difficult to believe or accept.

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pollyblue · 10/05/2011 14:34

God knows how many people post on here - there's bound to be bunfights. And yes, sometimes people are a bit hostile/agressive, but ime there's a lot of laughs to be had on MN, and the couple of times I've posted for advice I've had some genuinely kind and well-thought out responses - and I also appreciate he posters who happily say "yes, you've been a tit." Lots of women (and men) post on here with real problems and need straighforward, practical advice.

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Hullygully · 10/05/2011 14:34

Fuck off he's mine

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southeastastra · 10/05/2011 14:34

i think some need a job

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Hullygully · 10/05/2011 14:34

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