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to wonder why some mnetters are so rude??

252 replies

workinggally · 10/05/2011 13:39

New to mumsnet (and mothering!) and shocked by the contents of some of the threads. Swearing/ bullying etc. But at baby groups people usually seem friendly and aren't swearing and cursing or being overly agressive. So - are the agressive types like that in RL or is it just a front for mnet?? And if it's just a front - why?

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 10/05/2011 13:43

Because it's not RL on here.

The majority are kind and funny I've found.

I swear because I'm an adult an appropriate situation, it wouldn't be at a baby group.

'Hand us that fucking doll will yer?' Grin

It's not a front, it's being open and saying what you want.

thelittlefriend · 10/05/2011 13:43

why are people rude on here?
because it's a nice change from the friendly baby groups Wink Grin

Flippingebay · 10/05/2011 13:45

Keyboard warriors :D

Honeybee79 · 10/05/2011 13:45

Most are quite nice.

But it's not RL so everyone is open and honest, especially on the AIBU threads.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 10/05/2011 13:47

We don't like to swear in front of the children.

reikizen · 10/05/2011 13:47

I suppose also because when you post on here you are asking for honest opinions aren't you? And in RL you can't always be honest. But in the main I respond on here in the same way as I would if someone asked my opinion in RL. Although AIBU for example, is kind of a free for all and you shouldn't post there if you don't want to get the occasional disagreement!
And anyway, baby groups are hell on earth surely? Wink

Honeydragon · 10/05/2011 13:47

I think if you stick around, and visit the other board you'll find that beneath our nasty nest of vipers front we are in fact a warm hearted straight talking bunch of vipers

Kudos to you op, your first post was in AIBU, and then in Weaning. Talk about baptism of fire Grin, chat is mellower, better for advice.

shakey1500 · 10/05/2011 13:47

Substitute the word "rude" for "direct" maybe?

And we're adults and are allowed to swear :)

BluddyMoFo · 10/05/2011 13:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 10/05/2011 13:50

Nobody's constrained by any social relationships or roles, which is the main reason people don't speak or hear the truth in RL.

FabbyChic · 10/05/2011 13:52

Research shows that when you interact online you do so with a more outgoing personality. What you might type is not necessarily what you might say to someones face.

It is the same on any forum.

TheFantasticFixit · 10/05/2011 13:52

I have a word for you OP - Netmums. They are much, ahem, fluffier over there, shall we say? and you can have a nice ticker

ForeverNamechanging · 10/05/2011 13:52

Fuck off bitch

No just kidding. Its the anonymity as well i think.You can act like a right knobber and never be face to face with the other people

sorky · 10/05/2011 13:55

imo this the one place where you will get a brutally honest opinion.

No one huns you or hugs you.

If you genuinely need support, advice or a laugh, you will find it here.

Watch out for the full moon though, it goes fucking mental then Grin

I agree with the baptism of fire (you are brave) hehe, you just need to go to baby names and you'll be fully inducted Wink

AgentZigzag · 10/05/2011 13:55

I love the word knobber.

PinotGrigiosKittens · 10/05/2011 14:01

{hugs} Grin

OP you'll get used to it.

If not, feck off Wink

ilovemyhens · 10/05/2011 14:05

You always get the truth here.

Whether you like it or not Grin

FabbyChic · 10/05/2011 14:06

Some of the support I have seen here has been absolutely amazing, people are nice here, but they will also tell you if you are being an arse.

nijinsky · 10/05/2011 14:06

I quite like the practicality of it all, its honest. Rather than all the pussyfutting around putting fake kisses at the end of everything. But I wouldn't be shocked by it.

PinotGrigiosKittens · 10/05/2011 14:06

Indeed Fabby

AMumInScotland · 10/05/2011 14:06

People go to baby groups because they want to have a group of people who like them, or at least sort-of like them. So they will usually be cautious not to offend the others, unless they disagree with them hugely about something they think is very important.

On MN, there are areas where people congregate in that kind of way - I haven't been on them, but assume the antenatal and postnatal group threads are friendly and supportive in general.

But on the rest of the boards, people tend to be more direct. On AIBU it's pretty much expected that you will be direct and even confrontational if you disagree with other posts.

There is a fair bit of swearing (but mostly not at people) because this is a site for adults and there are no children around to hear us, so we can give vent a bit more than we do around small children, or most ages of children come to that!

AuntieMonica · 10/05/2011 14:08

rude? how very fucking dare you! Grin

my mouth is always getting me into trouble, in RL and online. Blush

and, if, like me, a poster types the way we talk, it can come across rather stand-offish Blush or brusque.

i find 90% of the time if you question someones post for that reason, it is explained off and we can all be friends again.

but no hugging ok? ok, hugs are fine, no tongues tho, that would be rude, we've not even had a friday drink together yet Wink

Gooseberrybushes · 10/05/2011 14:08

"Substitute the word "rude" for "direct" maybe?"

Sometimes it is just direct: often it is unbelievably rude, unkind, nasty and aggressive. They are here doing that because it's a self-moderated forum and it can't be done elsewhere.

MitchiestInge · 10/05/2011 14:09

Where on MN have you witnessed 'bullying'?

Gooseberrybushes · 10/05/2011 14:10

I have been called a liar, a troll, a nutter, a complete nutter, hysterical, paranoid, a muppet, told to piss off, to fuck off etc etc.

I am none of these things and normal people do not tell other normal people to piss off and fuck off when they disagree with them.

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