to wonder why some mnetters are so rude??

[workinggally]

New to mumsnet (and mothering!) and shocked by the contents of some of the threads. Swearing/ bullying etc. But at baby groups people usually seem friendly and aren't swearing and cursing or being overly agressive. So - are the agressive types like that in RL or is it just a front for mnet?? And if it's just a front - why?

[Gooseberrybushes]

When you think the average age here seems to be 30s/early 40s it is quite astonishing.

[Needanewname]

I actually like the ability to be able to swear and say what you want on here, makes for some lively discussions though!!!

And no I never swore at a baby groups (don;t have to do them anymore as no more babies - yay!) as it wasn;t at all appropriate.

Welcome to Mumsnet

[ScousyFogarty]

I dont normally swear; but Ican find swearing funny in some situations.

Give a bishop a present and he says/ "Not another bloody bottle of gin"

[AgentZigzag]

There's no doubt some posters seem very angry in the way they post, but just give them some back or ask if they're alright and you usually find they're having a bad day/week/life and indulging in a bit of internet offloading instead of taking it out on nearest and dearest.

[ilovemyhens]

are you calling us abnormal gooseberrybushes?

This is normal for the internet

People are less inhibited on a forum. That's the charm of it.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Excellent question Mitchiest. I am, I'd like to think, the same in RL as I am when using this board. I don't consider myself to be a bully.

[StayingDavidTennantsGirl]

Lets not forget the mumsnetters who have spent time and money making squares for hand-made blankets for two mumsnetters who recently suffered bereavements (EdgarAleandPie and Rindercella), just to try to convey how much we are thinking about them.

[AgentZigzag]

So why are you still posting if you don't like all the things you've listed gooseberry?

[PinotGrigiosKittens]

SDTG - great post :)

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Blimey, it moved on too quickly.
gooseberrybushes do you think there was a reason for the name calling? I've never (I don't think) been called anything like that.

[ilovemyhens]

Good grief goosberrybushes, you don't get out much do you?

Do you expect us to be little prim, proper misses or buttoned up grandmas?

Laydees don't swear?

[Gooseberrybushes]

I was bullied on a recent thread. The reason was the OP was being paranoid for worrying about pool safety and I disagreed that she was paranoid. Is that a good reason, Kreecher? Is there ever a good reason? What would you call a "good reason" for being called those names?

[Gooseberrybushes]

Agent ZZ - was I supposed to be bullied off the board?

[AMumInScotland]

If you do see bullying, then pull the person up on it, or report the thread - self-moderated means that we do the moderating, it isn't applied from outside. But that means that we have to actually do that moderating, not sit around saying "someone ought to do something about that" as if it had nothing to do with us.

[Gooseberrybushes]

Hens: I am not prim or prissy, I just don't tell people to fuck off for no reason except I disagree with them.

[olderyetwider]

Oy hens, I'm a grandma, and I've got more buttons undone than is quite necessary (or tasteful!)

[AMumInScotland]

Sorry for the shouting - despite being here for years, I obviously haven't managed to master the highlighters yet

[Gooseberrybushes]

I did report the posts and I reported the thread. I'm saying it happens - people are saying it doesn't. I don't need advice on what to do about it but thank you

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Sorry, that was a daft way of putting it. Some people unfortunately attract shit. You seem to be one.
I do love telling people to fuck off for no better reason than disagreeing with them. I tell my next door neighbours to fuck off and then, quite often add, you feckless cunt.

[Gooseberrybushes]

"Some people unfortunately attract shit. You seem to be one."

Some people like to throw shit. Unfortunately some of them are here. Just don't say it doesn't happen is all.

[Pagwatch]

It is funny, the dynamic on here.

I have been here years. Even in the first few years when I had no identity on here and didn't 'know' anyone i never had venom thrown at me.I have rarely been sworn at, never called a troll, rarely called names and when I have it has been in the midst of an on line argument.

I think I am quite lucky. I avoid most of the barneytastic threads and I now just leave threads where twats turn up with misogynistic bile or small minded bilge.

Maybe if you are seeing nastiness on a daily basis you could change that a bit by avoiding aibu and threads that are kicking off. Some people like those threads but they suck all the nice out of life.

And btw what is with the focus on ages lately? That is the second time in a few days I have read about 30/40 something posters with children being responsible for all the bad stuff. Most odd

[Gooseberrybushes]

They were on the ball, very much so. I have no complaints about that at all: and I can stand my ground. I'm just saying - it happens. Being "direct" is not an excuse.

[Northeastgirl]

I think it's a great opportunity to get / give an honest answer instead of needing to be tactful, but I agree I've seen some comments that I thought were unnecessarily hostile.