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to wonder why some mnetters are so rude??

252 replies

workinggally · 10/05/2011 13:39

New to mumsnet (and mothering!) and shocked by the contents of some of the threads. Swearing/ bullying etc. But at baby groups people usually seem friendly and aren't swearing and cursing or being overly agressive. So - are the agressive types like that in RL or is it just a front for mnet?? And if it's just a front - why?

OP posts:
Gooseberrybushes · 10/05/2011 14:11

When you think the average age here seems to be 30s/early 40s it is quite astonishing.

strandedbear · 10/05/2011 14:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Needanewname · 10/05/2011 14:11

I actually like the ability to be able to swear and say what you want on here, makes for some lively discussions though!!!

And no I never swore at a baby groups (don;t have to do them anymore as no more babies - yay!) as it wasn;t at all appropriate.

Welcome to Mumsnet Grin

ScousyFogarty · 10/05/2011 14:11

I dont normally swear; but Ican find swearing funny in some situations.

Give a bishop a present and he says/ "Not another bloody bottle of gin"

AgentZigzag · 10/05/2011 14:12

There's no doubt some posters seem very angry in the way they post, but just give them some back or ask if they're alright and you usually find they're having a bad day/week/life and indulging in a bit of internet offloading instead of taking it out on nearest and dearest.

ilovemyhens · 10/05/2011 14:12

are you calling us abnormal gooseberrybushes?

This is normal for the internet Hmm

People are less inhibited on a forum. That's the charm of it.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 10/05/2011 14:13

Excellent question Mitchiest. I am, I'd like to think, the same in RL as I am when using this board. I don't consider myself to be a bully.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 10/05/2011 14:13

Lets not forget the mumsnetters who have spent time and money making squares for hand-made blankets for two mumsnetters who recently suffered bereavements (EdgarAleandPie and Rindercella), just to try to convey how much we are thinking about them.

AgentZigzag · 10/05/2011 14:14

So why are you still posting if you don't like all the things you've listed gooseberry?

PinotGrigiosKittens · 10/05/2011 14:14

SDTG - great post :)

kreecherlivesupstairs · 10/05/2011 14:14

Blimey, it moved on too quickly.
gooseberrybushes do you think there was a reason for the name calling? I've never (I don't think) been called anything like that.

ilovemyhens · 10/05/2011 14:15

Good grief goosberrybushes, you don't get out much do you?

Do you expect us to be little prim, proper misses or buttoned up grandmas? Hmm

Laydees don't swear?

Gooseberrybushes · 10/05/2011 14:16

I was bullied on a recent thread. The reason was the OP was being paranoid for worrying about pool safety and I disagreed that she was paranoid. Is that a good reason, Kreecher? Is there ever a good reason? What would you call a "good reason" for being called those names?

Gooseberrybushes · 10/05/2011 14:16

Agent ZZ - was I supposed to be bullied off the board?

AMumInScotland · 10/05/2011 14:17

If you do see bullying, then pull the person up on it, or report the thread - self-moderated means that we do the moderating, it isn't applied from outside. But that means that we have to actually do that moderating, not sit around saying "someone ought to do something about that" as if it had nothing to do with us.

Gooseberrybushes · 10/05/2011 14:17

Hens: I am not prim or prissy, I just don't tell people to fuck off for no reason except I disagree with them.

olderyetwider · 10/05/2011 14:18

Oy hens, I'm a grandma, and I've got more buttons undone than is quite necessary (or tasteful!)

AMumInScotland · 10/05/2011 14:18

Sorry for the shouting - despite being here for years, I obviously haven't managed to master the highlighters yet Blush

Gooseberrybushes · 10/05/2011 14:18

I did report the posts and I reported the thread. I'm saying it happens - people are saying it doesn't. I don't need advice on what to do about it but thank you Smile

kreecherlivesupstairs · 10/05/2011 14:19

Sorry, that was a daft way of putting it. Some people unfortunately attract shit. You seem to be one.
I do love telling people to fuck off for no better reason than disagreeing with them. I tell my next door neighbours to fuck off and then, quite often add, you feckless cunt.

Gooseberrybushes · 10/05/2011 14:21

"Some people unfortunately attract shit. You seem to be one."

Some people like to throw shit. Unfortunately some of them are here. Just don't say it doesn't happen is all.

strandedbear · 10/05/2011 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pagwatch · 10/05/2011 14:22

It is funny, the dynamic on here.

I have been here years. Even in the first few years when I had no identity on here and didn't 'know' anyone i never had venom thrown at me.I have rarely been sworn at, never called a troll, rarely called names and when I have it has been in the midst of an on line argument.

I think I am quite lucky. I avoid most of the barneytastic threads and I now just leave threads where twats turn up with misogynistic bile or small minded bilge.

Maybe if you are seeing nastiness on a daily basis you could change that a bit by avoiding aibu and threads that are kicking off. Some people like those threads but they suck all the nice out of life.

And btw what is with the focus on ages lately? That is the second time in a few days I have read about 30/40 something posters with children being responsible for all the bad stuff. Most odd

Gooseberrybushes · 10/05/2011 14:22

They were on the ball, very much so. I have no complaints about that at all: and I can stand my ground. I'm just saying - it happens. Being "direct" is not an excuse.

Northeastgirl · 10/05/2011 14:23

I think it's a great opportunity to get / give an honest answer instead of needing to be tactful, but I agree I've seen some comments that I thought were unnecessarily hostile.

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