to think that I am doomed to a life of singledom forever?

[DameShirleyKnot]

I have been thinking recently about maybe getting a new boyfriend at some point in the future.

As the only men I ever meet are wankers, I don't know why I crossed that out actually, yes, most of the men I meet are wankers, I have decided to start having a little look on Guardian Soulmates to get an idea of what is out there.

Basically, what is out there is men like:

"Crazy Creator
Intuitive, playful, spontaneous, celebratory, he makes things - sometimes for 'the world of culture' but many times for you, songs, poems, cards, perfumes, he will get the tube carriage to sing happy birthday to you, hold a gigantic airport placard with your name on or when you are ill he will dress as a doctor...he will jump without thinking!!!!."

This. This man talks about himself in the 3rd person and is a dickhead.

Can anyone find me someone who is NOT a pretentious arse please?

archie you are forgetting i am an eastenders fan, you wouldnt find me sucking on your pretentious maroccan preseved lemons, more likely some smart price ones

Oddly, Vinegar, I detected a whiff of paranoia

And asparagus makes your cum taste dreadful.

Archie will need pineapple for that

Eww Tiggy gross

Are Moroccans and their food pretentious? Careful there some would call that racist.
I wouldn't though. Mind you some may say that spelling Moroccan with an a could be construed as pretentious. Yes yes I know that the Moroccans do and it is their language and they have rights and all that but you wouldn't call Hungarians Magyars would you, eh?
Don't they have any Moroccans in Eastenders yet?

Fionn. Yes you may well be right. Never mind there are far worse things to be.

yay!

Hello most best thread that I ever did ever. How you doing Sarah? Many likeys?

Not a single bloody one. What about you? :(

Oh GOD Shirl. I just checked. The Jackdaw bloke checked my profile out. Thank FUCK he didn't 'like' me. I don't want to know anything about his big sphinx of quartz.

Argh - I don't want to tell you - the fact that I am 18 and therefore sexy is...uncomfortable.

Lol! I've had a nice sounding Danish bloke had a look. He's in Iceland atm though and no photo. GS is boring me already tbh. The Sarah Beeny one I can't take seriously - they all gush so much. And if their friends were so bloody marvellous then surely they wouldn't be single?

I am just too cynical for my own good. I think I am doomed to hanker after Mr Wrong/Right forever.

Share your perv responses then, Shirl.