to think that I am doomed to a life of singledom forever?

[DameShirleyKnot]

I have been thinking recently about maybe getting a new boyfriend at some point in the future.

As the only men I ever meet are wankers, I don't know why I crossed that out actually, yes, most of the men I meet are wankers, I have decided to start having a little look on Guardian Soulmates to get an idea of what is out there.

Basically, what is out there is men like:

"Crazy Creator
Intuitive, playful, spontaneous, celebratory, he makes things - sometimes for 'the world of culture' but many times for you, songs, poems, cards, perfumes, he will get the tube carriage to sing happy birthday to you, hold a gigantic airport placard with your name on or when you are ill he will dress as a doctor...he will jump without thinking!!!!."

This. This man talks about himself in the 3rd person and is a dickhead.

Can anyone find me someone who is NOT a pretentious arse please?

You could move to that London for lurrrve

Any details available of the nice 59 year old? For a friend you understand. ;)

Found this thread at lunchtime, PMSL, and have been dying to share these two from the Saturday Guardian ever since...

"My secretary said ... don't mention the distant travel restaurants and fine hotels, just say you're kind, successful and seek a younger lady upto 40.."
What a shame he didn't listen, eh?

And downright creepy -
"Are you loyal and passionately devoted? Do you lose yourself in total love? Handsome M 48 needs deliciously clingy and emotionally needy girlfriend 25-48."
In other words, scary narcissist seeks victim for abusive relationship.

Anyway, I did try the Guardian soulmates (largely to prove a point to a friend) - and scored null points. So I was right that middle aged geeky single mothers are completely unfanciable. Not sure in retrospect that it was a point worth proving.

Eww that second one sounds bloody scary. I need to start reading what they put rather than oogling their photos

Though in fairness I should add a mate of mine found a really lovely bloke on soulmates and they are due to have sprog number one any minute now.

Have PMed you Getting.

I am so jealous. If he were 5years younger I would totally message him. THE FOX

lol thanks Dame Shirl. Sadly i am oop north. whoops I mean my friend is oop north!

Also my friend needs to lose at least 2 stone before venturing into the choppy waters of luurve.

If he is so gorge, why is he on tinternet looking for luurve?

My friend tried parship a few years ago and made a couple of nice friends, but all the good blokes are in London. North Yorkshire is a very small pond!

I am waiting for someone to come on and recognise their DH...

Err PM for me please. I don't mind an older man cos Im not fussy . Small pond here too Getting and I'm not moving to London.

I found a Steptoe lookie-likee from down the road on POF I think, who has an Asian much younger wife, advertising for a midweek shag-fest as wife works away during the week!

picture and all!

God help us.

I live in hope of finding an ex boyfriend on there. It would be soooo funny to compare what he thinks of himself to my opinion.

He is London too Sarah, so no good for you. Honestly he is LUSH.

I just want to drool, honest

G'wan give us a bit of eye candy to drool over.

Lord. This sounds like my ex. I met him on Guardian Soulmates. He spends a lot of time taking pictures of clouds and recording "binaural" everyday sounds. No joke.

Take heart people. I just met my gorgeous dp on match.com (after one very dodgy date with another guy and two nicer ones where there was no chemistry.) We've been together 2 months and I'm smitten. It can happen.

Can't believe the wankery of some of the guardian soulmates ads though! I did join that briefly but found it full of ugly men.

Have PMed you Sarah. I wonder what MNHQ make of my sudden PMania

Phoooar I see what you mean. I wonder what bit of Greater London he lives in. And what he does. For a living.

He is an Actorrrrrr. You must read the blurb as well Sarah you complete sexfiend

I feel very fucking left out here. I want to join in the Internet dating fun. Stupid fat bitch DH. :(

I confess. I'm just checking out age/height and the absolute basics. Cos let's face it, they're not going to confess to teeny weinys on their profile.

Sarah I used to read the whole profile, now I just look at what age they would like (no middle aged men looking for younger models), and photo ie could I shag them...

Shallow, but just as effective as doing the right thing!

That's all I'm doing again. I found one tonight, very lush looking. Read his profile and at the end he says he's a Nazi

I can't tell if he's joking or not. He says he's a LibDem but who can tell...

hello, any progress? can you pm me the guy in the hospital shirl?

Would you date me OP?
I can do all domestic duties to look after myself and my family as I have been living independent ly since 16. Not that I believe they are particularly important but I don't like dirt and mess.
Can do all DIY quite happily. Not macho but don't take shit from people. Love writing and philosophy, architecture, pastorality Gentle and caring but naturally tends to dominance, love children but also like Jaguars, Astons, shooting and action movies. Do not like sport but can watch the big events if necessary, even tennis. Excellent cook and fascinated by food and grow all my own vegetables. Loathe bullshit, hypocrisy and pretentiousness. Enjoy inventing and business (am entrepreneur) and have a great capacity to go on working well after others have fallen by (Capricorn) but can get bored quickly by people and activities(IQ 160- not a particularly positive thing). Happy to make lots of money but care not a jot whether I am rich or poor as I have been both and treat each state with indifference. Like peace and quiet but confident at parties/meetings etc, but no need to prove anything so let others have their head if I don't feel I have anything pertinent to add. GSOH - can have the dinner party laughing for a long time. Can get on with all types of people having lived in all types of environments and all over Europe. Faithful and even watching adultery makes me uncomfortable if I ever have the misfortune to see Eastenders for a few minutes, I feel slightly depressed. High sex drive. Some of the above are negatives to some I am sure but definite negatives must include, can be moody, will not tolerate nagging, can be opinionated but I am intelligent enough to realise that an opinion is just that even if backed up by strong arguments and should never be confused with ego. Libertarian. I see this as a complete positive - complex though it is, but those into political control of their "lessers" and shameless destruction of chances for the less well-equipped in society to better themselves, will find it intolerable. So if you read the Guardian and are educated beyond your intelligence to defend public subsidy of the arts at the expense of working class activites - you will probably not like me.

I fucking love this thread!