to think that I am doomed to a life of singledom forever?

[DameShirleyKnot]

I have been thinking recently about maybe getting a new boyfriend at some point in the future.

As the only men I ever meet are wankers, I don't know why I crossed that out actually, yes, most of the men I meet are wankers, I have decided to start having a little look on Guardian Soulmates to get an idea of what is out there.

Basically, what is out there is men like:

"Crazy Creator
Intuitive, playful, spontaneous, celebratory, he makes things - sometimes for 'the world of culture' but many times for you, songs, poems, cards, perfumes, he will get the tube carriage to sing happy birthday to you, hold a gigantic airport placard with your name on or when you are ill he will dress as a doctor...he will jump without thinking!!!!."

This. This man talks about himself in the 3rd person and is a dickhead.

Can anyone find me someone who is NOT a pretentious arse please?

AND NO TO THE LOVE MAKING SHIRLEY
NO

Urgh it reminds me of The Thread That Dare Never Speak Its Name

You can't fight it forever. He's yours.

you know it baby. love making. a little bit of spoonery love making on the desk with him. Look at him. You could be making love with him now, oh yeah, love making.

PleaseDontHitMe

Put the Barry White on and shimmy over to him. For us. Please.

To inspire you

DIY and cocoa? Impressive to your mother? hmmm.Possible trouble ahead there.

I tried muckymatches - the farmer-y one - and they seemed the most normal. Saying that, I went on a very successful date with a guy who felt that the appropriate response to "I work with people with disabilities" was "I think all disabled people should have been drowned at birth"

Match.com is chocka block with chavs . My friend's DV ex was on there and when I report him to match they did nothing....

I did actually do it on a desk actually with a work colleague years and years ago actually and it actually shit.
That was a great story wasn't it? I've loads more where that came from.

the desk shit? or he shit or you shit or......what?

at TFO. Fucking Hell!

sigh
WAS shit. It was shit sex.
No scat.
If there was then it WOULD have been a great story.

I know! Then I (nearly) lost the moral high ground when I fell over in the middle of the restaurant. Bloody wedge heels....

That was a night to forget

Decided I'm "doomed" to singledom forever too. TBH I prefer it to having to give up my evenings to sit through shit dates with idiots who hate women.

It took me 3 attempts to do that emoticon. I kept writing [shit]

I have had 3 views and 2 likes so far. That's a 66.66% success rate, non?

Sadly, the 1 view that has not 'liked' me is the one I liked

Oooooooo! You are so brave!

Wouldn't it be brilliant if you met someone and fell in love and got married and invited me to the wedding and I was the chief bridesmaid because I started it all with a thread on mumsnet

It would

And I would. I would have a great big fuck off Mumsnet wedding and I would invite everyone.

Do you think I should warn them?

Yes I think something along the lines of "I am here to get married and I am going to invite the whole Internet to the wedding"

Yes. That should guarantee you a spectacular response.

I wouldn't rush Teth. The second liker was of the 'I'm mad I am' variety. He has been firmly banished.

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/08/06/article-1042011-0019533400000578-899_468x419.jpg&imgrefurl=www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1042011/Cilla-Black-play-cupid-new-dating-Loveland.html&usg=__pIdWru0pb6mDeEINGaw9vyb3uTo=&h=419&w=468&sz=42&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=wmKRRyTFarccVM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=143&ei=kUrETbjiB4ah8QO1oPD_BA&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dcilla%2Bblack%2Bblind%2Bdate%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26biw%3D1440%26bih%3D732%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=391&page=1&ndsp=32&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0&tx=0&ty=59" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Shirley introducing Sarah to 'the one'

I had my hair like that once

Like Cilla?

Hahaha! No. In a bob. I looked grim tbh. Like I'd stepped out of a Famous Five book

Probs for the best :(

I keep getting views. But they're all from Darn Sarf. Mostly Larndarn. Which is a long way away from me.