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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that I am doomed to a life of singledom forever?

437 replies

DameShirleyKnot · 06/05/2011 10:42

I have been thinking recently about maybe getting a new boyfriend at some point in the future.

As the only men I ever meet are wankers, I don't know why I crossed that out actually, yes, most of the men I meet are wankers, I have decided to start having a little look on Guardian Soulmates to get an idea of what is out there.

Basically, what is out there is men like:

"Crazy Creator
Intuitive, playful, spontaneous, celebratory, he makes things - sometimes for 'the world of culture' but many times for you, songs, poems, cards, perfumes, he will get the tube carriage to sing happy birthday to you, hold a gigantic airport placard with your name on or when you are ill he will dress as a doctor...he will jump without thinking!!!!."

This. This man talks about himself in the 3rd person and is a dickhead.

Can anyone find me someone who is NOT a pretentious arse please?

OP posts:
Iam666 · 07/05/2011 22:46

Can I steal that for my profile please?

S'me, Sarah btw Grin

FisticuffsBartholomew · 07/05/2011 22:59

Feel free!

archieleach · 08/05/2011 08:42

Yes Tiggy and Vinegar tits - this is all just a laugh.
Why don't you give us your honest and sincere profile, so we can all laugh together.

I think I shall have a signature, "own teeth, hair and asparagus bed"

Yep - it certainly has a rhythm all of its own

Pussinflatboots · 08/05/2011 09:00

dollytwat I think we dated the same guardian soulmate!

DollyTwat · 08/05/2011 09:22

Puss did he have a voice that sent you to sleep? In a bad way?
Some kind of advertising or charity work? He told me a massive whopper about his job which I picked him up on.

I always put on my profile that They have to be divorced not separated. They all ignore it. There was one guy who told ne that he was definitely never getting back with his ex, because he'd asked her only a week ago and shed said no!

carminaburana · 08/05/2011 10:35

Fisticuffs; Ha ha - but it's not real is it, they're not looking for long- lasting meaningful love - it's 'old curious' - Y'know, like 'bi-curious'

Iam666 · 08/05/2011 10:49

I am gutted that archie never answered my questions. I'm also definitely going to have to change my profile as Im pretty sure I'm scaring them. Wimps.

VinegarTits · 08/05/2011 13:46

im not into toy boys, tried them but i prefer a man with more experience

thing is archie, your not single, so i am Confused as to why your giving us a profile of yourself and wanting to have a laugh about our profiles with us sad single internet weirdos?

archieleach · 08/05/2011 14:34

I think you think too much vinegartits. Not every action has to have a motive you know.

TiggyD · 08/05/2011 16:11

I've got a profile on here.

SarahStratton · 08/05/2011 16:14

C'mon archie, answer my questions pretty please :)

FisticuffsBartholomew · 08/05/2011 17:19

Well depends what you mean by real Carmina. The dates, kisses etc. are real. If you're one of those people who thinks that only long term monogamy is real and worthwhile, then all dating sites suffer the problems of sexual tourism. But you'd be surprised by how many young men are attracted to the idea of an older woman, not out of a Mrs Robinson fantasy, but just because they do. There are lots of reasons, a few that immediately spring to mind are:

  1. They are young and have no money and want to be a cocklodger. They're easy to spot.
  2. They don't want children but do want a meaningful romantic relationship and they know that women of their own age usually want children and they don't want to go there
  3. They find older women more confident, dynamic and attractive and of course we're better in bed. We've been doing it longer, so it's not that surprising. I was very very sceptical about this when I first used this site but I've been surprised by how many of these young men genuinely like the age thing.

My point is that you are wrong about the idea that the OP has got to be grateful if a 60 year old deigns to look at her. You're right about lots of men on these dating sites wanting 20 year olds, but firstly they don't get many replies from the 20 year olds and secondly, theyr'e the sort of men sensible women wouldn't want to have a relationship with anyway. There are plenty of men out there who are sensible and realistic about what's available to them and actually want to meet a nice woman, not a trophy girlfriend.

Original poster
DameShirleyKnot · 08/05/2011 17:52

Hang on, hang on, I'm thirty fucking eight!!! Wink

Totally agree with your last paragraph fisti

OP posts:
Pussinflatboots · 08/05/2011 18:52

dolly Oh perhaps not then. I guess there are many who meet that description on GS! Told lots of whoppers though...

chubsasaurus · 08/05/2011 19:03

archie - I'd like you.

carminaburana · 08/05/2011 19:22

Fisti - yes, you're right of course - my problem is I've lead a very sheltered life and read too much Agatha Christie.

(( you sound lovely btw ))

luvvinlife · 09/05/2011 11:00

This is officially the best thread ever !

TiggyD · 09/05/2011 13:13

At 38 Dame Shirley is fast running out of people older than her anyway.

SarahStratton · 09/05/2011 13:14

It's bloody funny.

They don't seem to like me over on GS though. I'm going to have to redo my profile Confused

luvvinlife · 09/05/2011 13:20

Perhaps adding " They are right, size doesn't matter" might attract a few more

Original poster
DameShirleyKnot · 09/05/2011 13:26

Stop flirting with me Tiggy.

Sarah - think about it this way, would you rather put a load of bollocks down, get loads of "likes" or messages or whatever they are and then have to wade through a load of nonsense?

Send me a link to your profile by PM and I'll have a look for you.

OP posts:
SarahStratton · 09/05/2011 14:20

Lol Shirl I think I'm scaring them with 'The List'

archieleach · 09/05/2011 15:35

SarahStratton Sat 07-May-11 14:42:37
OK tell us more archie. Sell yourself.

What do you do with your 160 IQ? What business are you in/entrepreneurial achievements? Whereabouts in Europe have you been/lived? What's your favourite meal to cook?

Sort of pisstaking questions I guess, but never mind.

I wouldn't call things I do entrepreneurial achievements, I guess that would be a phrase used by someone needy of others approval. It is just what I do. Like some people work for others and some people don't, doesn't make you better or worse it is just what happens to suit your skills and temperament.
Unfortunately there isn't a better word in common parlance is there.
Someone looks at the world, has an idea on how to better it, plans, carries it out, makes some money for self and jobs for others. Bit more complicated than just "getting a job" but easier for me because if I change my mind.... - oh dear starting to ramble and bore here so I'll stop this bit

Some people have a "career" - it is true I find that a bit of a crap idea. It strikes me that an awful lot of people put themselves through a lot of needless stress for their "career" ("lives of dull desperation" and all that)

I am involved in food retail, product design and language education at the moment.
I've lived in Greece, Spain, Italy and Poland.
No favourite meal, ( meals though maybe 40 or 50) just as long as it is something different most of the time. I do like Moroccan though

And long may you profit from the answers!
I only answered because you asked twice, do you have a plan?

Do you think Vinegartits has been sucking on some Moroccan preserved lemons recently?

SarahStratton · 09/05/2011 15:56

Ah no piss taking archie. You'll know if I'm piss taking, although I rarely piss take people. My MO is more general larking about. Although I will happily slap down if I think someone is talking bollocks. Or playing Jackanory. That's not aimed at you btw.

Only used entrepreneurial achievements because I couldn't think of any other way of describing asking you what the entrepreneur bit meant in your post. No plan. I'm just plain nosy Grin

FionnMacCunthill · 09/05/2011 16:03

You wouldnt be for me Archie, you sound too far up your own jacksie and a lot little bit in love with yourself

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