To be shocked at how many mners seem to condone smacking

[Cat98]

I am not talking about people who have smacked in anger and post saying "oh no, I lost it and smacked my DC" - everyone makes mistakes and no-one is perfect! I am talking about those who use smacking as a considered, pre meditated form of punishment/discipline. I know this was discussed a lot on another thread a few days ago, and I was pretty much told "each to their own" - but I am genuinely surprised that it seems to be a popular method here?

Well, thats a way to start a massive debate isnt it......

To be honest, it really is no one else's business how someone parents theri own children. As long as the children are not being abused, its up to the parents.

The problems tend to occur when one parent agrees with smacking but the other doesnt, this is something parents should discuss before having children if possible. They need consistency with discipline.

And, no, I dont smack my DC. But I still think parents are entitled to make their own choices.

COngratulations. You get my first ever

This will not end well.
Just do an advanced search on smacking and read previous vitriol and save everyone the bother.......

This is a discussion forum, no? debate is good!

Seriously, I am not trying to start a bunfight, honestly. I am genuinely surprised, perhaps a better word than shocked, sorry. I thought smacking as a form of discipline was on its way out with the dark ages. That's all.

Of course it is each to their own, though as I said - discussion forum - I would never mention this to soneone irl.

Agree with you about differences between partners ideas though.

Arcadie- why?
There was a short discussion about it on another thread (anger management one?) but everyone was quite civilised, discussing it - I didn't want to add to that thread as it was derailing from the OP.

Oh and I don't search the archives before I post anything, is this an MN no-no?

YABU to ask that question when you already seem to know the answer!

Agree with the posts above.

I was certainly given the odd slap as a child and I turned out just fine!

Yes you are

IMO It is always wrong. How you try and justify it is up to you but deep down it is teaching that aggression is acceptable if the perpetrator is bigger than you!

I think everyone's being harsh here, lots of people start discussions about parenting on here - but this is AIBU so I will accept that I am quite obviously BU..

absolutely noddyholder

DameShirleyKnot Love it.

i think the odd smack to reinforce discipline is a good thing.

What do you mean halfpastwine - I don't know the answer, basically asking if it is more common than I think as it seems as though a lot of mners choose to smack. This surprises me.

Why gawdblimey? What does it teach?

If you reinforce discipline by smacking then you have to be prepared for your superiors eg in the workplace to smack you if you are not doing things exactly to their requirements.What additional effect do you think hitting someone has?

See, now a conversation like this has no hope in hell of ending well. I don't smack. I think it has problems as a form of discipline but it is impossible to discuss in general terms because those who do believe in it as a form of discipline feel personally attacked by any discussion of it and many people who don't smack fall into the trap of crying 'child abuse', which isn't helpful in trying to debate an issue.

So the thread invariably turns into a huge bunfight with lots of and faces but little exchange of calm povs and everyone feels bad and nobody really listens to the other 'side' as it were.

OP... post what you want, ignore anybody who tells you otherwise. :)

I also grew up in an era where smacks, although uncommon, were not frowned upon. It wasn't a nanny-state back then either. I personally think that whilst explanations are always the way to go, one smack is still an option for a child that just will not listen and I agree that nobody has the right to tell others how to parent.

It's odd isn't it? For all this prescriptive parenting, there are still cases of real harm and torment... some things just don't change.

Ok Ok - I will give you the benefit of the doubt. I biscuited you as I have been burnt on a smacking thread before and can honestly say that not a single person appears to have ever changed their view on smacking as a result of one of these threads. In either direction. It seems to be the same with most polemic parenting debates (see also controlled crying, routine vs demand feeding) Mostly it starts with someone appearing to be morally outraged such as your good self. Cue a whole lot of other people posting about how morally outraged they are about same. Then one lone voice of dissent suggests that it might not be that bad and is generally tarred and feathered. And just sometimes people come to their defence and it becomes a massive bunfight.

Debate = good thing.

Giving people opportunity to vent spleen about how their way of parenting is the only correct way = a bit pointless.

I guess this is AIBU and therefore it operates differently to, say, the sleeping or weaning threads but, for example, when I want help on a topic from MN I search it first to see if someone else has already answered my query.

I rescind my biscuit.

Yanbu to think that smacking is unacceptable.

Yab a bit u to be surprised/shocked considering the amount of people and opinions on this website and that we aren't one giant like minded PC mass.

Yabu to have used no? twice at the end of a sentence twice in quick succession. Once is too much

Aah good old aibu. Always goes well.

I'm surprised that it's still used as often as it is but I think on MN it's largely not the norm. Some do but the most don't judging by threads past.

IABU for using twice, twice.

I'm always surprised myself about the number of people who think that smacking in anger is understandable and excusable. In my experience as a child, the smacks given to me which were lashed out when she was angry hurt far more. And the lack of control and the dislike on someone's face when they hit a child in anger is awful as well, and this is what stays with the child.

Sp personally speaking, I don't think any smacking is ok.