Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be shocked at how many mners seem to condone smacking

780 replies

Cat98 · 03/05/2011 13:47

I am not talking about people who have smacked in anger and post saying "oh no, I lost it and smacked my DC" - everyone makes mistakes and no-one is perfect! I am talking about those who use smacking as a considered, pre meditated form of punishment/discipline. I know this was discussed a lot on another thread a few days ago, and I was pretty much told "each to their own" - but I am genuinely surprised that it seems to be a popular method here?

OP posts:
Hullygully · 04/05/2011 13:38

I'm with Maypole.

Rarely have I read posts of such insight and thoughtfulness, beautifully composed and immaculately presented. She is a lesson to us all.

JamieAgain · 04/05/2011 13:43

I like the "nit dine" bit best

Hullygully · 04/05/2011 13:44

I liked "wushu washy"

She is ace and no mistake.

Pagwatch · 04/05/2011 13:47

I am quite proud of nit dine.
You have to do it in a Peter sellers type voice.

I am growing fond of my auto correct.

Hullygully · 04/05/2011 13:52

This looks like fun!

SueSylvesterforPM · 04/05/2011 14:03

I may be alone in the opinion I think smacking should always be a last resort and when a child is too big to move easily out of a bad situation, the most common problem I see is that it becomes a lazy first resort where any form of actual discipline no longer exists. my DP smacked my 20 month old on the wrist he smacked himself and the my dp on every occasion.
When I think a firm 'NO!' and moving or 'no I will not play with little boys who slap' can be more effective.

Mamaz0n · 04/05/2011 14:15

it was the eloquence of those posts I was struggling with Hully.

Clearly the teachers had it easier in Maypoles day which is why she came out with such fabulous standards in English.

Pag - I too worry about how a child like my Ds would be handled by a smacker. He is autistic and had very limited understanding when he was younger. To think he would have been slapped every time he didn't jump straight to my command saddens me.

QuickLookBusy · 04/05/2011 14:36

There is never any excuse for smacking a child. Ever.

One day it will become illegal in this country.

I wonder what you will all do then. Oh yes, you will have to think of some other way to interact with your child, which doesn't include hitting.

knittedbreast · 04/05/2011 14:39

that sounded a bit spiteful quick look busy

Hullygully · 04/05/2011 14:41

that sounded a bit spiteful quick look busy

oh the marvellous marvellous irony

QuickLookBusy · 04/05/2011 14:48

Yes Hully, how bloody fantastic. You couldn't make it up.

JohnStuartMills · 04/05/2011 16:13

It's assault.

LadyBeagleEyes · 04/05/2011 16:44

I smacked out at my son once and never did it again. It was done because I was at the end of my tether.
I felt so guilty afterwards, and it didn't make the slightest bit of difference, neither of us felt any better for it.
I apologised.
He'll be 16 in July and has turned out into a brilliant kid.
Smacking is totally UR, and i'm surprised anybody in this day and age would still condone it.

cricketballs · 04/05/2011 16:59

after reading through the many messages since I last posted; a thought has been running through my head.....

do those who insist on the 'explaining, discussing, eye level, stopping a journey' etc etc work or are you all SAMs?

tinierclanger · 04/05/2011 17:14

I work and dont smack. Does that validate it for you?

QuickLookBusy · 04/05/2011 17:24

Have been both Cricket. Whenever I have worked my DDs were looked after by a person who would never have smacked them.

Actually I am right in thinking a childminder/nursey worker would be referred to the police if they smacked a child?

AvonCallingBarksdale · 04/05/2011 17:26

I didn't smack when I worked and I don't smack now I don't work - that OK, cricketballs? I can't wade through 31 pages (don't think that's UR!), but I like the sound of QuickLookBusy. I will be cheering the day that smacking a child becomes illegal in this country.

LadyBeagleEyes · 04/05/2011 17:28

Cricketballs?? I worked right through my son's childhood.
And it was a job-that-goes-with-the-house so I didn't get a break.
Still don't believe in smacking. Ridiculous statement.

Pagwatch · 04/05/2011 17:40

Also have been both - wohm and sahm.

But I suspect you are perhaps imagining some kind if a Question Time encounter and prolonged debate.

My dcs have been able to grasp the notion quite quickly that they do what I say imediately when the situation demands it. It is a certain tone of voice which promises untold retribution if they do not.

It honestly isn't hard. Even ds2 manages to get the basics pretty quickly.
Of course some children are more difficult than others. I am talking about your average mild mannered child.

But mostly the conversation goes
me : come along paggirl. We need to leave now.
Dd: awwwwww. Five more minute...
Me: no. Now. We need to get home for supper.
Dd : but I want a bit longer...
me : no. Now!

That's it. Not rocket science

noddyholder · 04/05/2011 17:48

It is all in the tone of voice. I have perfected saying Not in a minute Now in a certain way. Still makes him stop arsing about and he is 17

Pagwatch · 04/05/2011 17:52

Grin ditto noddy.

Once dd answered me back and ds leant across the dining table at her and said

"noooooooooo! Don't do it"

Hullygully · 04/05/2011 18:00

But whacking them one is so much more fun!

Pagwatch · 04/05/2011 18:04

True.

noddyholder · 04/05/2011 18:04

When ds answers back I walk in silence past him to the modem and unplug it

Mamaz0n · 04/05/2011 18:28

{grin] Noddy - have you perfected the look of doom too? It is brilliant. I manage to frighten adults with it too.

Oh and i have been both working and SAHM. what difference does itmake?