Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that some people would rather be

198 replies

goodbyemrschips · 02/05/2011 19:46

to think that some people would rather work all the hours they can and earn shed loads of money than earn less and spend quality time at home with the family or doing hobbies and having a relaxing time?

OP posts:
Original poster
goodbyemrschips · 02/05/2011 20:40

marsha,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,these were the people i was really talking about....

OP posts:
Original poster
goodbyemrschips · 02/05/2011 20:41

did not have a deposit 100% mortgage [the good old days]

OP posts:
Original poster
goodbyemrschips · 02/05/2011 20:42

30 hrs a week.....a tiny amount ?

full time is onlt 37 1/2 hrs a week where i live.

OP posts:
indulged · 02/05/2011 20:43

How did he get such odd hours?

and why do you bother working your 16?

BlingLoving · 02/05/2011 20:43

"
Cos I DO think it's odd to have children and WANT to be away from them for 40 hours a week"

Why? I adore dh and I chose him, as an adult, sm not required to spend hours playing peekaboo or wiping his bum and I still feel very strongly that I need time away from him and certainly don't begrudge my 55 hours away from him at work.

mumblechum1 · 02/05/2011 20:43

It was much easier to buy a house in the eighties. My ex and I bought a three bedroomed terraced house in the Lakes for £21k in 1984.
We each saved £15 per week for the deposit for a little over a year. Seems incredible now, but it was just no problem back then. I was 20, he was 23.

DuelingFanjo · 02/05/2011 20:43

I asked about benefits because I wondered if you worked only 16 hours a week so you could still get benefits.

Original poster
goodbyemrschips · 02/05/2011 20:44

his hours are not considered odd here..........

I work when my son is at school or his dad is home to look after him.

I work for money!

OP posts:
K999 · 02/05/2011 20:44

I work full time, not because I have to but because I want to. I enjoy my job. I also enjoy being a mother. Smile

Original poster
goodbyemrschips · 02/05/2011 20:45

dueling no i dont work 16 for benefits, dont knoe much about them.

OP posts:
indulged · 02/05/2011 20:46

What do you consider to be "long hours"?

Original poster
goodbyemrschips · 02/05/2011 20:46

50-hrs a week or more....

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 02/05/2011 20:47

I'm guessing you weren't in Higher education then?

Original poster
goodbyemrschips · 02/05/2011 20:48

no....worked in a factory.

OP posts:
needanewfocus · 02/05/2011 20:48

Blingloving, I'm assuming you meant your DS, not your DH?

Yep, I do think it's weird to want to spend 55 hours a week away from a young child if you don't NEED to.

Original poster
goodbyemrschips · 02/05/2011 20:49

agree

OP posts:
ChateauRouge · 02/05/2011 20:50

So no experience of student loans then?

or having to pay 8 times your salary for a home?

Hmm
FakePlasticTrees · 02/05/2011 20:50

well, I only work 3 days a week, DS is in nursery those days. We don't need me to work at all. It really wouldn't have a massive impact on our lifestyle as DH earns enough to pay all the bills and give us a good amount each month.

I love my son very much, but after just over a year off, i love that I have conversations with people who don't know what BLWing is. Or care. I love that I put on 'grown up' clothes, use my brain and am not just someone's mother. I love that while i'm working part time now, if I wanted to, I could go full time and keep the family should DH lose his job.

I guess if you don't feel that way, you'll never get why I work when I have no need too.

K999 · 02/05/2011 20:50

I probably work about 50 hours a week (on a hectic week) and 40 on a normal week. Some of it I do at night when DDs are in bed. Some I do at the weekend. Mainly most of it done at the office. But as I said before, I enjoy my work and it's hugely rewarding. Smile

needanewfocus · 02/05/2011 20:50

Sorry, did I say weird? I meant neglectful and selfish.

jcscot · 02/05/2011 20:52

"ok not getting into a argument here but if your OH works away all week and comes home at the weekend he is basically a single guy during the week.

Would you not rather him be home and earn less?

Would he not rather be home and earn less?

Or is the style you live more important?"

It has nothing to with style of living (I assume that you mean disposable income, nice house etc by that).

My husband comes home once a fortnight (he's in the Army) and he is anything but a "single guy" when he's at work. He's in a very busy job that sees him frequently have to work 17 and eighteen hour days. The money he earns is paltry compared to similar jobs on civvy street and there is no "overtime" or financial benefit to his long hours. The hours he works are due to understaffing and the busy nature of operations.

What he earn supports us in a modest home, with money saved for a rainy day and a few luxuries. We choose to live apart to provide stability for our children. We would prefer to be together but, in our current situation, this is the best way of managing our family life.

I would be lying if I said that my husband is not ambitious and that he hates his job. On the contrary, he loves his job, is very good at it and has excellent promotion prospects.

I'm not sure I understand why you're asking this but I'm happy to give my POV.

indulged · 02/05/2011 20:52

I like that balance of quality time and being an example for my son of someone with a good work ethic

K999 · 02/05/2011 20:52

I don't think I am either neglectful or selfish.....

Original poster
goodbyemrschips · 02/05/2011 20:52

no not a student loan in sight...........

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 02/05/2011 20:52

Do you realise that times have changed? Hmm