To think that some people would rather be

[goodbyemrschips]

to think that some people would rather work all the hours they can and earn shed loads of money than earn less and spend quality time at home with the family or doing hobbies and having a relaxing time?

Well, those 10 yrs younger than you will prob not be able to due to property prices, that can't be avoided.

Neither DH or I would sacrifice being at home with the family for excessive consumption, but some people would I guess. We're actively considering quite massive lifestyle changes to cut our outgoings even further. Equally there are those who will have to work crazy hours for next to nothing.

bottom line is people do what they have to do,to keep going
and sometimes that involves long hours
but not all people who put in long hours are fortunate enough to live a prosperous lifestyle.there is a huge difference between long hours minimum wage lifestyle, and long hours on a professional wage lifestyle

mn can seem a bit skewed by prosperous dp who work loads and have comfortable life,but that isnt everyone experience

student debts
struggle to find affordable rental
struggle to save for mortage deposit
lack of decent entry level jobs
high cost living
all mean people work hard,as they have to

For me family time wins hands down. DH has a job which is 8-4ish but flexible, leaving him time to spend with us. Earns a modest income, could earn quite a bit more if he was in a tough industry job and working long hours but he and I agree that the flexibility and family time are worth far more than the extra money. The best things in life are not things and all that.... I know people will probably flame me for saying that but that's the way I see it :)

Thank you for your answers I see things a bit differently now that not all those working are earning huge amounts.

I feel the property prices have a huge effect on choices.

I bought my first house for £25,000 in 1989 moved three times and have no mortgage and I am 42, so I do see things not quite right sometimes.

Well I work long hours (50 plus a week)

I'd rather not; but DH is poorly & tbh I need to be at home but I'd earn loads more at a job but I'd still have to be out of the house about 45 hours

I'd like a part-time job; but that whole 'roof over my head/feeding the family' thing is too precious to me atm

Because we want to be something other than wives and mothers?

And you feel you have to work long hours to acheive that?

It is a confidence thing?

You bought your first house at the age of 20 - outright?

YANBU - a lot of people are like that. A lot of people, while loving their children, don't find focussing just on them enough. They are motivated by other things, money, status, intellectual stimulation etc.

I know DH needs intellectual challenges - if he took a lower level job, while he could be happy with less money, and enjoy spending more time with DS, he'd go crazy without stretching his brain. He'd get bored.

I know people who need to earn a certain amount as they aren't happy without that level of income (even if they could 'cope' on less). I know people who need the status of the high level job. I know people who just don't find their children all that interesting and their 'hobby' is basically their job.

They aren't worst people, they are just different. They are the woman who in my mother's generation went slowly crazy with the career end at motherhood.

I bought my first house at 18 on a 20 year mortgage.

I work long hours. I find it very useful to be able to pay the mortgage and bills, buy food, clothes and fuel, so call me crazy, but yes I see it as a necessity.

Yep, I'm 12 years younger than you and my first flat cost £150k...so therein lies the difference I guess!

We do have a small mortgage compared to some though, as we chose a house that we could afford on one salary just in case. DH is a few years older than me so had a hefty deposit to bring in.

do you get any benefits OP? Apart from child benefit?

Just one of those things some people understand, some don't. My mother had a working mother, she hated being home alone and was a sahm. I thought it seemed boring not to do anything all day so will probably woth. No doubt any children I have will decide their life would've been better had I been there.

No, he's a married man who works away.

I would rather he was at home and earned the same, but he's in the armed forces so he goes where he's sent.

We don't live in 'style' either, we work hard to pay a mortage and the usual bills and that's about it.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to own our own house, we couldn't afford to do it if we lived where DH works and we didn't want to be first time buyers at almost 45 years of age when DH can 'retire' from the forces.

If your lifestyle is working for you then that's fine but I don't have to justify ours to you, especially when we are not earning the "shedloads of money" you are complaining about in your OP.

It works for us, our marriage is good, my DH is not a "single guy" and our LO is happy. I work hard in the week to make sure the weekends can be fun family times and to make sure that LO still has a lot of fun with just me at home. He talks to DH on the phone twice a day and is happy to see his extended family too.

If any of that stops being true then we will make the decision that's best for us and will change the aspect that needs to be changed.

It's not the ideal but no matter what decision we make, something has to give. We can live together in married quarters, move every 18 months, change LO's schools and take away his extended family support. And still have DH disappear for months on end to the other side of the world.

Or we can have DH work away four days a week, live in a house we can afford the (small) mortgage on, have a stable base for LO where he doesn't leave his school and his friends every 18 months and have extended family around and try to make the weekends and holidays all about spending time together.

So as I said, people do what works for them and if you have been lucky enough to have everything you want just the way you want it then good for you, but there's no need to imply there is anything wrong with us or that we are sacrificing anything for style or money. You know nothing about us or how hard we work to live a very ordinary life on two very ordinary salaries.

Yes there is the difference and in such a short time as well.

no i dont get any benefits....why?

Do you get tax credits?

Do you mean the kind of people who say "I work full time for my sanity"

Cos I DO think it's odd to have children and WANT to be away from them for 40 hours a week. NOTE, I said WANT, not need to.

A lot of jobs allow the person to earn a lot, but then require the hours.

Look at the 'rich' thread. Nearly everyone who has said they are rich has worked long hours, put the time in.

You can't choose less hours in a lot of professions.

Well, I work long hours in a demanding job. Partly, it's for the money and lifestyle - dh and me and future ds are much happier living in our house with a little garden than we would be in a small flat somewhere. I also work because I like working and enjoy it. If I could earn the same, or dh could earn more, I wouldn't mind a few less hours or more flexibility, but I wouldn't give up completely!

needanewfocus....yes....... and for shed loads of money.

no benefits......why?

30 hrs is a tiny amount to work for a man...how did he get an unconventional number of hours like that?

18! - Wow you must have done well to save for the deposit, did you get a paper round?