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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at SIL naming her baby daughter almost the exact same name as my DD?

460 replies

RubyGrace17 · 23/04/2011 19:32

Hi everyone,

I've posted a few times on various topics but this is my first AIBU :) I can't decide who is being unreasonable here, hopefully you can help me decide!

I have three daughters- aged 5, 3 and 4 months. My SIL (DH's Brother's Wife) had her second daughter on Tuesday evening and we are all absolutely delighted for them. However, last night BIL txt DH (and other members of family) to announce baby's name as they hadn't been able to decide up until now. She is named Isabelle Eva- lovely name. The issue is that my DD3 is named Isabella Eve and goes by Bella. Initially I was shocked that she would choose such a similar name, however, I did think she would choose a different variation for a nickname- my own DD is Bella. We went over to visit tonight along with PILs and no, they are calling her Bella too.
I can't decide if I am being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed- MIL is infuriated and wanted to "confront" SIL about "copying" and is none too happy at "having 2 GDs with the "same" name" (her words, not mine). I convinced her that wasn't necessary and insisted that she would no doubt choose a different nickname so it wouldn't be an issue. I could understand if it were a family name and she too wanted to honour a family member but neither of these names are.
I am not extremely close to SIL, however, we do get together as an extended family once a week or so and I often look after her little one as she is the same age as my DD2 and we all adore her so the girls do all spend time together. She has never really expressed to me that she particularly likes Bella as a name, nor has she expressed dislike. I know I do not "own" a name but it just strikes me as being quite unreasonable? I don't know- perhaps I'm just hormonal and being silly.
Look forward to your opinions!

Sorry- very long post!

Ruby

OP posts:
caramelwaffle · 26/04/2011 13:54

Liberty...Belle.

Rather...American...

caramelwaffle · 26/04/2011 13:55

It is very gracious.

howdoo · 26/04/2011 13:56

Tab - you're so right! Liberty Belle - brilliant! OP, tell your SIL never to take her kids to the US...

Original poster
RubyGrace17 · 26/04/2011 14:00

No, Tabliope, she has a Liberty and a Bella. Not Belle. Haven't you read the thread? Obviously not.

OP posts:
Tabliope · 26/04/2011 14:03

How rude. Yes, I have read the thread. I thought that was the point - she has an IsaBELLE not an IsaBELLA. And I still think you're wrong to have put her kids' names up in full here.

themildmanneredjanitor · 26/04/2011 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Reality · 26/04/2011 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOfFun · 26/04/2011 14:25

Is there a dog called Taco?

Original poster
RubyGrace17 · 26/04/2011 14:28

Um no, Reality. If you had read my post correctly, I said DN1 is called Liberty MAYA. Not Liberty Belle.

OP posts:
MsToni · 26/04/2011 14:30

You are not being U, considering the circumstances.

Bella 1/ Bella 2 might work. Or they could go with "Belle"

My sis named her daughter Nicki (Nicole). In prior conversations, I'd always said I'd name my daughter Nicki (Nicole). She had a girl, I have a boy. When / If I do have a girl, I'll still name her Nicole. Its just a name, IMO and it would be silly to say she nicked my (unborn) daughter's name. Still, I'd have been a tiny bit pleased if she hadn't.

But, hey, that's life...:)

bemybebe · 26/04/2011 14:33

I am dying from curiosity!!!! Please explain to non-American what is wrong with Liberty and Belle...

MillyR · 26/04/2011 14:33

If they attend the same school, live near each other, have the same doctor and so on, this is going to cause all manner of social and official mix ups for years to come.

It is unfair on the children, and if she isn't going to change her daughter's name to something different, you should go back to the registry office and change your daughter's name.

Your SIL is crazy.

TandB · 26/04/2011 14:35

Can't you ring her up, laughing like a drain and say something like "I can't believe I didn't realise this was a joke - you carried it off so well. It wasn't until someone asked me my DNs names and I said 'Liberty' and 'Bella' that I clicked." And then keep shrieking "Liberty bell" until she decides that Bella isn't looking so attractive anymore.

Reality · 26/04/2011 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MintyMoo · 26/04/2011 14:40

Ruby YANBU, you're being remarkably gracious actually. Your SIL is lucky to have such a nice SIL, and not one as wacky as she is - imagine the fall out if you were both as wacky as her!

I do think if I was in your position I'd secretly add another name to your Bella's name, maybe something like Isabella Sarah Eve. The family never has to know but at least she'll have something to make the two less confuseable (sorry, brain fog, that's probably not even a word).

I would tell your DD1 and DD2 that Isabella is Bella, and that she's not to be called Izzy - the last thing you need is for your SIL to start telling them to call your Bella Izzy instead of Bella.

I do think it's wonderful that you're being so gracious - the sad thing is that it's poor Isabelle who's the victim here, not only do her parents not care enough that giving her the same name as her baby cousin may drive a wedge in the family they've also saddled her with potential teasing - everyone at school will know your Bella is the elder cousin and that her parents copied you. I think your SIL does want to cause a rift - refuse to rise to the bait and don't give her the satisfaction. Hopefully she may see sense and change Isabelle's name before she registers her. Or at least the nickname to Belle/Izzy.

mathanxiety · 26/04/2011 14:42

[[http://www.destination360.com/north-america/us/pennsylvania/images/s/philadelphia-liberty-bell.jpg Liberty Bell] in Philadelphia. Has a huge crack in it.

bemybebe · 26/04/2011 14:42

Ah, ... sorry to sound disappointed, I thought there was something else. Blush

mathanxiety · 26/04/2011 14:42

Liberty Bell phhoey

Reality · 26/04/2011 14:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
RubyGrace17 · 26/04/2011 14:44

I think MintyMoo that I will give some thought to giving my Isabella an additional middle name as perhaps that would save a great deal of the confusion in terms of practicalities and would save me some worry. I actually really like Sarah in the middle and that is one of my great great grandmother's middle names which would be nice. Thanks for suggesting that :)

Yes, Reality, I am aware of what the liberty bell is. However, my niece's name is not Liberty Belle, it's Liberty Maya.

Ruby

OP posts:
MintyMoo · 26/04/2011 14:44

Now I'm laughing, imagine the christmas cards

Love SIL, BIL, Liberty and Bella

It's probably worth pointing out to her that the two names form Liberty Bell, possibly she's never heard of it but I'd want to know if it was me.

bemybebe · 26/04/2011 14:44

Thank you Reality!

sheeplikessleep · 26/04/2011 14:46

But Ruby, her daughters together are Liberty Bell.

MintyMoo · 26/04/2011 14:47

Ruby you're welcome, it just seemed to fit IFSWIM. Plus it's a classic name and has a nice meaning (Princess).

It's just that if you say Liberty and Bella together, as in my daughters are called Liberty and Bella it does sound like Liberty Bell.

FlamingJamie · 26/04/2011 14:48

Not everyone has heard of Liverty Bell/e

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