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AIBU?

to thing that having child number 5 when living in a small 2 bed flat is unfair to all the children.

390 replies

byanymeans · 21/04/2011 11:32

I totally understand that it is in all honesty none of my business how many kids people choose to have, as long as the parents can provide from them. However I really do find it a bit hard to get my head around how one family of 4 kids 2 adults could fit into a 2 bed flat before but last week they came home with baby number 5. Shock

I just don't get how the parents feel this arrangement of 4 kids (oldest child is 13, some boy some girls) sharing a bed room is healthy. They must have no real play space or personal space. I just don't understand why you would want to bring another child into that? Sad

I feel so sorry for the new couple who live below to as the noise from so many feet run around must drive them mad. I don't think that any one has lasted more the 9 months in the flat bellow for years.

I just don't understand they see nothing wrong this having still more without moving it?s not fair on any of the kids.

OP posts:
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ForeverNamechanging · 21/04/2011 11:35

I don't understand the point of the post. In what way does this affect you and your life?

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worraliberty · 21/04/2011 11:35

As long as they don't expect the council to provide a bigger home, I don't see the problem.

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lockets · 21/04/2011 11:35

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GypsyMoth · 21/04/2011 11:35

and you know who is in which room then?
you know for certain downstairs sufferes from noise of 'so many feet'??

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Rebecca41 · 21/04/2011 11:36

I agree but I'm sure you'll be flamed!

I think people should only have the number of children they can properly provide for, and space is important in my opinion. Presumably they can't afford to move house, but in that case it's irresponsible to have more children.

But as I say, I'm sure you'll be inundated with people telling you to mind your own business!

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Rebecca41 · 21/04/2011 11:36

And I was right!!

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lockets · 21/04/2011 11:37

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LaWeasel · 21/04/2011 11:37

How do you know this is the long term plan? Maybe they are saving money by living somewhere small so they can buy a big house asap?

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lockets · 21/04/2011 11:38

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MickyLee · 21/04/2011 11:38

I couldn't do it but YAB slightly U.

DH was one of eleven children and lived in a 2 bed property. different time and place but these circumstances have been around in the past.

Poor neighbours though Hmm

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porcamiseria · 21/04/2011 11:38

this thing about only having enough kids that you can provide for is a very middle class thing, we are stopping at 2 for that reason, in a way I kind if envy people that sod it and have ten of the little fuckers!

I suspect you are motivated by a benefits issues TBH

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nenevomito · 21/04/2011 11:40

I'd struggle with 5 and only two bedrooms, especially if some of the children were teens.

7 people in a 3 bed is do-able if you have the children sharing 3/2, but having two adults and 5 children in a two bed sounds difficult.

Not something I would do myself, but each to their own.

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CareyFakes · 21/04/2011 11:40

If they provide financially for all the children, pay their way and expect no handouts, good for them. I doubt it'll have any lasting psychological damage for the children.

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lockets · 21/04/2011 11:40

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hocuspontas · 21/04/2011 11:40

I think extended families of 12 or more who live in cramped conditions in Eastern Europe or similar would dream of having 2 bedrooms to spread out into.

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Groovee · 21/04/2011 11:40

We grew up in a flat with only 2 bedrooms too. My dad had 3 children he was a single dad to when he met my mum. I slept in my mum and dad's room for years, my brother slept in the living room and a large cupboard had his chest of drawers in it and my sisters shared. One sister moved out, I moved in with the other sister and when she moved out my brother moved in with me and he left home when I was 11 when I then had the room to myself.

When I was doing my NN training, I was at a local nursery and realised a family with 4 girls had a 1 bed flat. The girls shared the bedroom and mum and dad slept on a sofa bed in the living room.

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cory · 21/04/2011 11:40

My (Swedish) mother thinks anyone who has children where they do not have instant access to forests/lakes/beaches/wild countryside to roam in is irresponsible and denying them the environment every child needs. That would be most of the UK then Wink

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Laquitar · 21/04/2011 11:44

[email protected] worrying about their neighbours.

I've never heard of anyone who thought about the neighbours when decided the number of their dcs.

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LaWeasel · 21/04/2011 11:46

Grin at Cory.

Yes, I seem to know quite a few people of my parents generation who think having children if you can't afford to pay for their schooling is shockingly irresponisble. Also, having a baby if you are not married - my god - the poor children! Hmm Grin

Everyone has different standards, if the kids are fed, clean and happy I really can't see the problem.

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Rebecca41 · 21/04/2011 11:46

lockets - if it's a 2-bed flat, then presumbly the parents have one room, and I imagine the new baby will be in with them. Most people wouldn't have another child in the room with a new baby because of the frequent waking in the early weeks/months. So I assume the remaining 4 children will be in one room. I've never seen a 2-bed flat with a massive bedroom, so I'm guessing the one room shared by 4 kids is quite cramped. OK, we're not talking human-rights issue here, but I still don't think it would be much fun for the children.

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emptyshell · 21/04/2011 11:47

I feel bloody sorry for the neighbours - particularly the downstairs one.

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GypsyMoth · 21/04/2011 11:47

rebecca......thats the best you can come up with??

loving the 'presumably'....you havent got a clue!!

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GypsyMoth · 21/04/2011 11:49

ever thought the kids might have the bedrooms....the parents the living room?? PRESUMABLY not!!!

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DooinMeCleanin · 21/04/2011 11:49

cory my Gran keeps telling us we should all move back to her home town a mountain village on the outskirts of the middle of no-where Grin (in Yougaslavia/former Yougaslavia)

She last visited about 20 years ago when they still had no running water in their homes, just a village tap.

The children would have a much better life there. None of this traffic or 'peedos' to worry about. They all play out from as soon as they can walk and no harm comes to them.

We keep trying to explain that it is unlikely to still be like that, but she won't listen.

Op - Yabu. You have no idea how the children feel about it. So long as they are all happy and loved I fail to see the problem.

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LaWeasel · 21/04/2011 11:51

We live in a 2 bed house with two large double bedrooms.

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