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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that parents who arrange activities for their kids

174 replies

goodbyemrschips · 17/04/2011 18:38

to think that parents who arrange activities for their kids every day of the holidays are loading themselves a whole load of trouble and the kids will never be able to know how to amuse themselves?

And I mean everyday for example

mon am swimming,......pm cooking

tues am.... tennis club pm..... fishing

weds am..... golf pm..... walk in the woods

thurs am.......glass painting pm.... dance class

fri....am swimming pm....... karate

When will they ever just ''free play''?

I feel two or three of those would be ok but everyday am and pm????

OP posts:
jojowest · 17/04/2011 18:39

blimey in my day our mums kicked us out with our bikes at 10 am and saw us again at about 5

we were all happy with that arrangement

wendihouse22 · 17/04/2011 18:40

God, it sounds exhausting. My son needs to relax mostly with some "organised fun" every few days.

TheBolter · 17/04/2011 18:40

YANBU.

AnnieLobePassoverSeder · 17/04/2011 18:40

That sounds exhausting and expensive!

Original poster
goodbyemrschips · 17/04/2011 18:41

I know I think this is well excessive....I saw in on a fridge door at the weekend at a friends..............their children are very needy and cannot seem to just go in the garden and potter it seems to have to be structured all the time.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 17/04/2011 18:41

jojo......those were the days!!

usualsuspect · 17/04/2011 18:42

Must cost a fortune

kids need to just be, sometimes

GwendolineMaryLacey · 17/04/2011 18:43

Same as jojo. Left the house at 10 with a ham sandwich and a bag of tayto crisps and reappeared at tea time. Even then we only showed our faces briefly to prove we hadn't been run over and then we went out again until bedtime. Was only the early 80's so not exactly centuries ago. Children need to be bored enough to create their own entertainment sometimes.

Bairyheaver · 17/04/2011 18:43

We used to go out after breakfast with our bikes and a sandwich, and wouldn't be back until dinner...good times.

nulliusxinxverbax · 17/04/2011 18:43

I know someone who does this with their DD, its because they cannot cope with alone time with the child, and want to "structure" the childs life like they would employees at work.

altinkum · 17/04/2011 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thaigreencurry · 17/04/2011 18:47

I agree.

Ds1 does 3 after school activities (martial arts, football and swimming) in the 6 weeks summer holiday I will book him onto one summer camp for a few days, I don't bother at Easter or half term. I think he has a busy schedule and sometimes I worry he does too much. Yet I have friends whose children do something every day after school, some days 2 activities. In the holidays they have a schedule like your example. The children don't want to do all these activities its pressure from the parents.

I also get annoyed when people try to fill our diary too. When a friend asked for available dates in Easter I gave her two dates, she asked what we were doing on the other days and when I replied "chilling" she said "Oh we will have to see about that, you don't need three days of chilling" and tried to convince me to book ds onto a cricket camp that he doesn't want and we can't afford. Is it a middle class thing because it certainly wasn't like this when I was growing up?

exoticfruits · 17/04/2011 18:50

I would have hated it as a DC.

Mamazonhereggsclucking · 17/04/2011 18:51

well my two have had not one organised activity the entire holiday.

oh that is a lie, we went with a picninc to the park last weekend.

other than that we have come to my parents house and they have been playing either inside or out with my two youngest DB.

lljkk · 17/04/2011 18:53

Jojo, Gwendonline, Bairy -- your parents would be reported to SS for that kind of thing today.
I don't schedule DC and they fight like furious ferrets as a result. Not really to be recommended.

Watertight · 17/04/2011 18:53

It's no good to do nothing at all with children and leave then to idle away days at a time getting bored stiff but clearly, this is far, far too much.

Do you really know someone who's really scheduling in this sort of extraordinary amount of activities, goodbyemrchips?

If so, I think "Poor kids". I'd be rattled and nervy and strung-out with no down-time in a week and my kids definitely would.

If someone was arranging this level of busy-ness, I'd wonder if he/ she had a problem with spending any normal time with his/ her children and were trying to avoid them. I expect that the children in question might feel pushed away too, on some level.

expatinscotland · 17/04/2011 18:54

We don't have a garden and live in a first floor flat. The building is on a 40mph road with no traffic lights and a car park.

So I have to plan something every day of the holidays or 'pottering around' in the non-existent garden.

It doesn't have to cost much - picnics and running about in various parks, crafts, etc.

meditrina · 17/04/2011 18:55

Where we live simply isn't safe enough (mainly traffic concerns) to let children go alone before about secondary age. Nor do we have a large garden.

So I use sports camps a lot, and the children like it.

Not all of us are lucky enough to have a realistic outdoors free-range alternative.

jojowest · 17/04/2011 18:57

I don't schedule DC and they fight like furious ferrets as a result. Not really to be recommended.

do they not know how to play then? do they not use their imaginations to create games? or dont you allow that kind of thing?

Carrotsandcelery · 17/04/2011 18:59

I am very precious about making plans in the holidays. I do make the odd commitment but my dcs have a busy time during term time and need time to please themselves and do what they choose in the holidays.

We have been to the park nearly every day but only twice was it a preplanned activity. Every other time it was them asking to go up there, which suited me fine.

My dd did do a course but it was 2 hours a day for 3 days and it was her begging choice to do it.

Children need time to relax and to choose and even time to get bored. There is no space for imagination in a fully timetabled life.

expatinscotland · 17/04/2011 18:59

I use camps, too.

alistron1 · 17/04/2011 19:04

In the hols we have no schedule at all. They might see friends/have friends round but organised shit is out the window.

This morning sheer boredom meant that my DS's recoursed to playing marbles. They even gave 'em all names etc!! For me that's what being a kid is all about. I remember me and my cousin playing 'schools' with marbles... it was brilliant!!!

Northernlurker · 17/04/2011 19:04

Hang on - at least of some of the listed activities will be done with the parents so hardly a sign of parents unwilling to cope with their dcs.

OP - you don't know what these dcs are like do you? My oldest dd likes structure and order. At 1/2 term when dh has been at home with them they have all got a lot of pleasure and satisfaction from a timetable - some fun stuff - swimming, trip out and some rather more mundane stuff - Tesco Holiday fun = going to do the weekly shop Grin Stops the everlasting 'are we doing anything today? They are happy to hang round the house or go out but they like to know either way.
If you know these children are over-stimulated and unable to amuse themselves then fair comment. But you don't know that do you?

Einsteinnolonger · 17/04/2011 19:06

Its a middle class thing. Innit?

Original poster
goodbyemrschips · 17/04/2011 19:06

If someone was arranging this level of busy-ness, I'd wonder if he/ she had a problem with spending any normal time with his/ her children and were trying to avoid them. I expect that the children in question might feel pushed away too, on some level.

She is involved in all the activites, doinf everything with them.

AND yes I do know someone who has this on her fridge and there is more as the kids have 2 and half weeks off. The fridge is full of it.

One did make me chuckle...........weds am...beach finding pretty seashells!!!!

OP posts: