to think that parents who arrange activities for their kids

[goodbyemrschips]

to think that parents who arrange activities for their kids every day of the holidays are loading themselves a whole load of trouble and the kids will never be able to know how to amuse themselves?

And I mean everyday for example

mon am swimming,......pm cooking

tues am.... tennis club pm..... fishing

weds am..... golf pm..... walk in the woods

thurs am.......glass painting pm.... dance class

fri....am swimming pm....... karate

When will they ever just ''free play''?

I feel two or three of those would be ok but everyday am and pm????

Don't kids just call for there friends any more ,like back in the olden days

We do about 75/25 in favour of constructive boredom. The 25% does not include having other people's kids here as that is easy and requires no effort from us.

their* before the pedants get me

I just organise " playdates" - sorry- and trips into town fir ice cream and plastic tat to bring home and play with. On the two days of sun in this country we always try and make the most.

I think it also depends on your kids.

I was 1 of 2 girls with a forces mother who didn't drive.We spent many a long school holiday on a new RAF camp happily playing Sindy,the borrowers,schools etc for hours. We've both now got twin boys and have rapidly learnt the motto "boys need walking like dogs".

My boys(and my dd) need the woods,trees,beach,moor.2 weeks of playing schools indoors or in a tiny garden would seriously make us all miserable.My mother(who has mine a lot) continuously says she's surprised at the difference between keeping 2 girls and boys happy/amused.

It even varies with sex.One of my boys will happily read/'play' the piano for hours,his twin is just bursting to run.

I also think there is a fine line between enjoyable boredom and boredom that leads to trouble. At one point I dreaded the holidays if we weren't living near a library.There is only so much playing schools one can take.This was before the age when we used to ride off on our bikes for hours. Our neighbours have 2 boys turfed out on the front every day,taken absolutely nowhere.They're bored shatless and are continuously in trouble ie bored with kicking a ball about,trouble is slightly more interesting.Really feel for them when I take my dc out,the look on their faces.

Will mine ever be able to go off all day on their bikes?I doubt it. There are more/faster cars now.We live in a very busy market town with a dual carriage way near buy.Letting my kids walk off to buy sweets on their own is going to take a while,when they have complete,reliable road sense. Letting them go off all day on their bikes will sadly probably never happen,it aint the 70s anymore and I can just hear the condemnation if anything should happen .

This benign neglect is all very well for those that have the kids and facilities to facilitate it.I remember when the phrase became trendy and I read what ever his name's book/articles about it.He lives in a huge pile with masseeeeeeve safe gardens,land etc-not all of us have that luxury or kids who will happily potter round a postage stamp garden/flat not killing or bugging the hell out of each other.

My children do activities which they have chosen after school. With holidays, I tend not to book camps unless they ask and usually only in the summer holidays, I allow them to do one week. I like to spend time with them and take them on days out which the restriction of school stops now.

Dh's SIL has to have camps and things because she can't bear to be all day with the children as they don't give her peace.

*YABU - what's it to you if they have lots of stuff planned? Maybe their children enjoy having structure and routine. Some do, you know.

Some of those activities will last an hour or so, leaving plenty of time in between. Maybe their children asked to do those things, so the mum has put in the effort to organise them.*

The activities last 3 hrs each at least...[if you had read the thread you would of spotted this info in one of my posts]

The children often have a day of school because they are tired probably with all the planned activities [if you had read the thread you would of spotted this info in one of my posts]

Anyway I think the general consensus is it is good to do both in moderation. As I have said a few activities a week planned or casually planned and a lot of free play to broaden their imagination.

LEQUEEN........................Spot on.

Lequeen kids differ.

I had 3 under 2 so believe you me they pretty much always had to amuse themselves.

They're happily playing with some GoGos in some make believe land out in the garden as I type.This however won't last it will kick off at some point.I have about an hour to finish MNing,wash my hair etc then we'll be going for a walk across the fields to get twigs to make an Easter tree,walk to the PO and the chemist to buy ds a worming tablet.

Me MNing all day,ignoring them/ doing housework all day simply aint an option.There would be carnage.For instance there are 3 not 2 kids and I have boys as well as a girl. Twin boys and a girl just won't happily play out of my face all day,they will bicker at some point,if left too long I'll end up hollering which I don't like.

I'd far rather leave them to it for a while,then do something enjoyable together,then do errands.That way they spend some time amusing themselves,get some exercise,we get the jobs done and I don't end up shouting.It called balance not micromanaging and it suits us.

I am not saying don't take the kids out of course not.

Buy what I am saying is why does the entertainment have to be planned to such a military style.

I woke up this morning and looked out of the window....

mmmmm I thought so we could take the dog down the fields and when we come back ds could amuse himself while i catch up on some housework/emails/mumsnet.

Then if weather stays dry we could go to the beach, but I have not mentioned this in case it rains. If it rains I think we might tidy all his toys in the attic and see what needs throwing etc.

I would hate a schedule.

And believe me she never breaks it....if it says zoo, come rain or shine or snow they go to the zoo!!

I think its sweet! Families these days spends such little time together so why not take advantage of the holidays n plan ahead. Especially in nice weather n really its cheaper to plan an activity every day than go on an expensive Easter holiday. Im not to sure what class has to do with it. I come from a one parent household on a council estate and my mum still planned our holiday days. Saves boredom, insanity and arguments.

I'm really looking forward to being able to chuck the kids out to play in between meal times whilst I read a book or watch telly (as I remember my mam doing!) but that's a couple of years off. DS is now old enough to play out, at least round the doors, but dd is still too young, so we will have to have mostly days out to parks and museums during holidays for a little while yet. However, I think we will have to try and have a day or two just at home these holidays, even if dd is bored, just so that ds gets to spend some time hanging out with his friends.

Does anyone think parents wanting homework for their kids was passing the buck to keep them occupied because they won't let them play out? ;) I've only just noticed what a major inconvenience, rather than a mild irritant, that homework has become for ds since he's had to cram it in when he'd rather be out playing. He's 7 by the way.

And I am one of those mothers who schedules holidays, largely to catch up with friends whose kids now go to different schools from mine as the kids only really get to see each other during school holidays, and also because we have a small house with a tiny back yard, and my kids need space to run around! :)

Sounds a bit too regimented to me!

They need to be able to 'make their own entertainment' and to have time just to chill out!

It's supposed to be holiday time after all...not a boot camp.

Maybe Lequeen their kids like it.Maybe they're like their parents and don't like chillin.It takes all sorts.Your way may not suit all families.

I've got an only child and we live in the middle of nowhere (no nearby friends to call on), so last week he was at a school holiday club (which most of his friends go to) and this week he asked if he could go to the hockey camp he's been to for the last 2 years.

I prefer him to be happy with his friends and doing sport than moping around the house all day or playing on the Wii.

you say the mother is doing all these activities with her dc? Where does she find the energy? Every morning and every afternoon, I just couldn't be bothered. Dropping them off somewhere because you have to work or have other things to get done, I could imagine but not actually doing all these activities myself too.

I think some dc thrive on that kind of thing and presumably their own mother knows her dc best. Sounds like a good mixture of sport and other things. I used to get bored out of my brains in the holidays so I would certainly have appreciated a lot more structure than my parents gave us. In the end you have to know yourself and your children.

I don't think my dd would like to do quite that many organised activities through the holidays. We are going away to a small village in Alsace where there is nothing much organised to do so we will be essentially eating as I see it.

But some might say ignoring kids all day is selfish.You can't judge families you don't know.

Also I have friends who like to book us weeks in advance.It doesn't bother me.They work or go to different schools,they need to book things far more than I do.Doesn't bother me,also ensures we see each other.If it was left to me we'd end up not seeing each other and the kids like catching up as I do.

Children have different personalities. Of our children two like activites and to know in advance what they are doing. One likes to wake up in the morning and decide what they are doing and the other just goes with the flow.

One of my sons is sailing for most of the week and we organised that in advance, not because any of us are insecure or we don't like him but because he loves to be out on the boat and the holidays gives him a chance to indulge his love. Another child has been pottering about the house all day.

Exactly Desperately I have the same.One of my sons likes seeing everything planned ahead on the calendar(and nags that it isn't),his twin and dsis like a go with the flow approach.

Different approaches work for different families.Just because your approach suits you doesn't mean it would make other families happy Lequeen-or that your approach is the right way to parent.

I hate this "oh my kids will happily play with a matchbox all day because of my fantastic parenting "