Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that parents who arrange activities for their kids

174 replies

goodbyemrschips · 17/04/2011 18:38

to think that parents who arrange activities for their kids every day of the holidays are loading themselves a whole load of trouble and the kids will never be able to know how to amuse themselves?

And I mean everyday for example

mon am swimming,......pm cooking

tues am.... tennis club pm..... fishing

weds am..... golf pm..... walk in the woods

thurs am.......glass painting pm.... dance class

fri....am swimming pm....... karate

When will they ever just ''free play''?

I feel two or three of those would be ok but everyday am and pm????

OP posts:
Guitargirl · 18/04/2011 19:48

I think people do what suits their own families and not always for the same reason.

My DCs are aged 4 and 2, I like to have lots of things planned as staying at home 'chilling' tends to drive me (not them) stark raving bonkers. 'Chilled' would not be the adjective I would use the describe myself after a day at home with them both.

But, I am also aware that some of desire to get out and about all the time is based on the fact that I spent a lot of my childhood feeling extremely bored and frustrated. Both my parents worked very full-time hours and were (and still are!) very houseproud. This meant that every weekend was spent at home doing washing/cleaning. They took 2 weeks holiday every August (the same 2 weeks every year) which they spent doing DIY and larger jobs around the house. Man, alive, I was bored and I do not want that for my kids. When they are adults they will probably complain that I dragged them out when all they wanted to do was sit at home!

compo · 18/04/2011 19:56

To the teacher who said it's sad when school kids say they're fav thing all hols is xbox with a mate

even if the other days were spent trailing round museums my ds would probably still tell you about sme random boring thing he did like empty the loft with his dad rather than his trip on the London dye Hmm

scottishmummy · 18/04/2011 19:56

some people on mn go out of their way out boast how deliciously chaotic they are,in that really middle class way.gosh er we dont even know if we have organic milk in the fridge or not.and we dont even do classes. as if is a badge of honour to show how disinterested one can try be.and not try too hard

perhaps can start all the competitive not caring thread,and snigger at anyone who dared book anything as trying too hard

conspicuous oh so laid back parenting,is as grating as over zealous parenting.flip side of coin.and just as braggy

compo · 18/04/2011 19:57

London eye

NorthernGobshite · 18/04/2011 20:13

We have bugger all planned for the whole Easter hols other than baking, going to the park, the library, trip to pool...generally pottering about. Kids need down time.

Yesterday dd(6) played on her DS, watched tv, played with her toys, has a reaallllyyy long splishy bath - stuff that through the school week she hasn't time to do or gets rushed.

colditz · 18/04/2011 20:20

I'm not deliciously chaotic, ScottishMummy - I'm skint and the Ds's are very stressful to organise into anything structured because Ds1 has higher supervision needs than ds2, and has just turned 8 so unless I go in making a huge song and dance about how he's HFA and must be watched like a hawk and doesn't 'get' joking around of the sort that group leaders normally do with 8 year old boys, he will either be upset or injured.

I keep our activities very low key for these reasons.

Actually, I'd err towards the scheduled ponies/swimming lessons/museums/coaching groups if i had the resources and suitable offsrping!

expatinscotland · 18/04/2011 20:37

Spot on scottishmummy 19:56:34 post.

meditrina · 18/04/2011 20:42

Just wondering if anyone here is astroturfing for McDonalds.

They've just started running the "Busy doing nothing" advert again.

zest01 · 18/04/2011 20:45

Why does it bother anyone what others do? We all know our own kids and so are probably better placed to decide what will work best for them.

Fwiw I do a schedule of activities and pin it up but it is a guide rather than a given and it does include time when the kids must amuse themselves while the adult/s do boring but necessary things such as cooking, shopping, washing and ironing. It also includes free/cheap activities in the main as funds are tight.

In an ideal world we would just drift into the day and the kids would do their own thing but with 5 children (plus extras on days we might be hleping out friends or hosting playdates) chaos would ensue and the kids who shoulted the loudest for the longest would get to do what they wanted and the quiet ones or the ones too young to make suggestions (ours range from 1 -12) would miss out.

A schedule gives everyone the time to do what they want some of the time, gives the adults time to do boring stuff and keeps us all sane.

If other people have a problem with a schedule I couldn't give a stuff - my sanity is more important than the judgement of someone who knows nothing about my life

maypole1 · 18/04/2011 22:55

We do activities about 3 days a week during the holidays today we did nothing and in our pjs to

claretandcheese · 18/04/2011 23:36

This is interesting. A lot of people have said that many don't have a garden. When I was a child ( and I do realise I am ancient, this was in the 60's/70's) we lived in a top floor flat. We would go off and play in derelict warehouses, overgrown back courts etc. So not having a garden in those days was no barrier. Nothing untoward ever happened to any of us and all the other children did the same. Very different from now.

scottishmummy · 18/04/2011 23:53

aye,but elf & safety who really wants their weans leapin about derelict sites?its all a bit gie em a slap and send them out unattended all day to play in building site, run around.cos thats what folk did in ye olde days...but honestly do i think i want that for my own weans? emphatic no. because i didn't play like that

i mean really,you cant be serious?wee bit tongue in cheek? yes we ran around scheme all summer on bikes,out playing but our parents kenw where we where and with whom

my parents worked ft so went to some summer hol activity stuff,and it was fine

Vicky2011 · 18/04/2011 23:59

Is anyone else reading this thread and wondering where all the working parents are?? I'm now getting a massive guilt trip for DS being in a football club for 2 weeks but the alternative is he sits at home and gets occasionally barked at by me when he breaks my train of thought. Honestly, he really does prefer the football.

scottishmummy · 19/04/2011 00:03

we both work ft.i plan months ahead,get all organised.planning is crucial

GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 19/04/2011 00:04

My lucky DDs get to come to work with me most days because I'm trying to run a business and we live in the arse end of nowhere.

School holidays are a blast.

claretandcheese · 19/04/2011 00:04

I wasn't suggesting that, scottishmummy, just making an observation, that's all.

ruffletheanimal · 19/04/2011 00:08

but this is a bonkers thread.
that much activity would be too much for YOU
it obviously isnt for THEM
whats with the judgy pants?

mine have inherited laziness from me and wouldnt want to do so much, but i know kids who do and are very happy too.
horses for courses.

scottishmummy · 19/04/2011 00:12

oh i know but folk say that sort of stuff lots
ach when we were weans we chased cars,climbed over walls,run all around scheme all day all night ..an the young uns today they cant do nothing

maybe back in the day people did have unsecured building site or whatever,but now well its different and well whether or not for better is up for discussion

claretandcheese · 19/04/2011 00:24

I would be very unhappy for my own Dc so do what we did. But it is funny how we all survived anyway. So i wouldn't say it was better. Though we probably developed more independence/self-confidence.

claretandcheese · 19/04/2011 00:24

to do, sorry.

scottishmummy · 19/04/2011 00:32

it is thought provoking,the societal and parental shift.certainly i did things i wouldnt expect my dc to do now eg latchkey kids.we came home before parents.to empty house.got toast,cold drink,tv.when older did graded tasks to help make the dinner

so do understand need for activity clubs, structured things when parents work

claretandcheese · 19/04/2011 00:40

Yes, it is ( thought provoking, that is). One big difference was that my mum didn't work, so was always available in the house even although we were outside. I wonder if that made a difference. She would call us in for food or ask another child to tell us it was ready or if we needed to go in for other reasons. There were more parents about too, if you were needing something you would go to the nearest friend's house and their mum would help out, provide a snack, a plaster for a skint knee, whatever.

scottishmummy · 19/04/2011 00:54

big societal and normative shift.at school loads of pals were latchkey kids,just something that you did til mum home - now of course it would be commented upon etc.in fact no way you'd not get noticed on it

so im not making a value judgement on my parents,they did what they had to do make ends meet - and they imbued me with v positive valued and work ethic.but naturally i do think of the comparison and that societal shift.but i suppose thats why there are so many commercial alternatives
nannies/cm
after school club
nursery
summer, easter activities

Insert1x50p · 19/04/2011 01:02

even if the other days were spent trailing round museums my ds would probably still tell you about sme random boring thing he did like empty the loft with his dad rather than his trip on the London dye

So true- my mum once took my cousins and me to London- went to the Tower and on HMS Belfast. Asked my cousin what she liked best

"putting my ticket in the London Underground machine"

superdragonmama · 19/04/2011 01:16

Ha Ha so true.

Took my three (then young) kids to France a few years ago - big, big holiday for us! - 3 weeks in a borrowed mobile home in Brittany - lots of days out, fab holiday.

Someone asked them what they remembered best and their answer was ' the ferry' !