To think picking a 4yr old child up by their arm and throwing them on a sofa

[devonsmummy]

is totally unreasonable - followed by 4 mansize smacks to the bottom?

Sorry but if my DH done that to DS he'd be very quickly told to fuck off.

What you described isn't smacking, it's hitting. It's wrong to hit anyone, especially a child.

That behaviour is bang out of order and needs to be addressed asap

I would throw him out for that tbh, it would be over for me. Bullying fucker . Ask him if he feels good after attacking a defenceless child then tell him to get out. Can't see that you have much choice really.

Sounds over the top to be honest. I'd be even more pissed off to find you'd posted it on an internet forum though.

There are sometimes a smack can be used, that doesn't sound like one. For him to then storm off sounds like he is extremely stressed and nothing can cause someone to pop more than a child who goes on and on and on and on and on.

I think you need to talk to him and find out if he thinks what he did was acceptable. Ask him about his relationship with his dad. was it happy? Did his dad hit him? Does he want his relationship with his son to be different? Or does he want his son to grow up being afraid of his own dad? He has a lot to think about.

God, I thought this was going to be about horse play.

To do this in anger to a child to punish them is awful. :(

The poor child must have been terrified.

Truly horrible. I don't smack but understand why people do it sometimes, but this was way over the top.

I hope your H has his tail between his legs and is going to apologise profusely. Although if he has done it before I'd be changing the locks.

I'm sure your ds will get over it.

has he marked your son??

"I'm sure your ds will get over it."

Fancy looking at the bigger picture here? I'm sure he will get over it once or twice but it's hardly going to be once or twice if her DH thinks it's acceptable behaviour is it?

Sorry 'D'H

I am one of the few to say I do agree with smacking in certain circumstances, but even I would say this sounds far too heavy handed and over the top.

Four years olds DO whine, so you send them to their room...

I think you need to think very carefully about where this is going. try looking at the womansaid website for info. about DV.

I would be thinking of ways to discuss this calmly with DH. Has he admitted over reacting? I'd be worried if he hasn't.

Also meant to say, if he considers a bit of whining to be worthy of smacking so hard, then what would he do to punish really naughty behaviour :(

"next time your dh whines about something, pick up a baseball bat and beat him - it is in his best interest after all."

What DuplicitousBitch said. I totally agree with that.

My H and I have slightly differing opinions on smacking. I'm not totally against it in certain circumstances but if my H did that to our DS I would have launched myself at him I think.

I would most certainly be thinking about getting me and the kids out of there and I appreciate how hard that would be. He needs some help managing his temper. Seems like he's lashing out because HE has lost control and it makes him feel better. That's a dangerous set up.

Hope you get it sorted OP, I feel for you.

It is not the role of a 4 year old child to have to "get over" manhandling and beating by his father.

Only a matter of time before he sticks on one you. Because you don't put a stop to it, he will carry on until he loses it with you too.

Your child is being abused. What are you going to do about it?

Sounds like the right level of force*

*if you'd like you child to go into foster care.

You had already dealt with it - he was on the back door mat. End of.

I'm not completely anti smacking, if you had said, if you don't stop that whining now I'm going to smack your bottom... I'd have been OK with that, so long as it was a smack and not a man size whack. I know it's very 'Not MN'.

He didn't he lifted him by one arm, threw him on the couch and gave him 4 man sized whacks... that it NOT a smack. One of those would be over the top on a 4 year old - but 4.

He would not have been under the same roof as my child/children last night and never again unless he faced up to what he had done and gave his word he'd never do it again... and if he did, he'd be one very sorry bastard.

It makes no difference whether your H was an abused child. I am an abused child and would have walked out of the door had he done that to either of ours.
My DH thinks that a small smack is not harmful but I disagree, so we don't smack. He can control his temper enough to go out of the hosue/ to the garage if he is losing it with one of the children and so can I.
You need to speak to him asap. Sorry you are having to deal with this.