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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that by marrying and procreating feminists are potentially going against their feminist ideals

205 replies

hardhatdonned · 14/04/2011 20:13

For you Eggy :o

OP posts:
ByTheSea · 14/04/2011 20:15

No. DH is a feminist too and we are raising our DC as feminists. What's the problem?

AyeRobot · 14/04/2011 20:15

Have you even got the foggiest what "feminist ideals" are?

SolarPanel · 14/04/2011 20:16

YABU

LadyOfTheManor · 14/04/2011 20:16

Yes well said Aye, please let me know what YOU think are feminist ideals.

yama · 14/04/2011 20:16

I promise I'm not being deliberately obtuse but I don't get why raising children is going against my feminist ideals.

Carminaburana · 14/04/2011 20:18

Let me think about it....

anonymosity · 14/04/2011 20:19

That is one of the MOST stupid comments I have ever seen posted as a thread topic on Mumsnet.

You should get a badge, just so no one forgets.

einstein1 · 14/04/2011 20:19

yama

Can I suggest you trade your fella in for a REAL man?

PeachyAndTheArghoNauts · 14/04/2011 20:20

YABU

If men are women could gestate equally but all femnists chose to getpg then maybe

They can't

So it's a weird premise at best

Feminist ideals are equality of choice and treatment, no? No barriers in palce purely based on gender, whether overtly or otherwise.

Nothing about forcing one's body to act as a male's would- but not being discriminated against because of that fact either.

MirandaGoshawk · 14/04/2011 20:20

Oh yes. Feminists should wear dungarees and not shave their armpits, and live in communes with other feminists.

yama · 14/04/2011 20:20

Einstein1 - who says I have a fella?

Original poster
hardhatdonned · 14/04/2011 20:23

I should qualify that i started this thread off the other feminist one it's interesting to see the reactions it has garnered.

Ok then let me put it another way would i be hard pushed to find a feminist that is a stay at home mum for instance.

My understanding of feminism is to strive for women to be equal to men (although i now believe this has tipped slightly too far the other way but thats by the by) in all terms, emotionally, socially and economically. But wouldn't some aspects of being a parent contradict these ideals?

OP posts:
PeachyAndTheArghoNauts · 14/04/2011 20:23

What aspects?

Original poster
hardhatdonned · 14/04/2011 20:23

I love how the only defence to questioning is to throw out the "oh we must be all hairy sweaty rug munchers". Interesting.

OP posts:
sethstarkaddersmackerel · 14/04/2011 20:24

This is a very good book, if you want to know more about feminism.

EngelbertFustianMcSlinkydog · 14/04/2011 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Carminaburana · 14/04/2011 20:25

Ok - yanbu.

By marrying and having children feminists are conforming to what 'society' ( and society is always male driven ) expects of women.

harpsichordcarrier · 14/04/2011 20:25

I am a feminist. I have been a SAHM. Why would this be contradictory? I don't understand.

Original poster
hardhatdonned · 14/04/2011 20:26

But then how can both parties be equal if one is being treating in a more unequal manner to the other? How is it advancing the feminist cause by sending mum out to work because staying home is too demeaning but saying it's ok for dad to stay home?

OP posts:
AyeRobot · 14/04/2011 20:27

Who said anything about demeaning?

You're going to really embarrass yourself on this thread, hardhatdonned. Don't say I didn't warn you.

DarkSkies · 14/04/2011 20:28

Maybe both partners work outside the home?

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 14/04/2011 20:28

Feminists don't say it is demenaing to stay at home - society does!

Original poster
hardhatdonned · 14/04/2011 20:29

Maybe they do, i know plenty of households where both parents work, mine included. I was responding to the point about both sexes being parents.

Ahh i'm used to it. Not like anyone here knows who i am now is it :o

OP posts:
Hassled · 14/04/2011 20:29

I am a feminist and am mostly a SAHM (odd bits of paid work but not enough to actually count, certainly not enough to make me self-supporting).

I don't see the conflict - I chose to do this after I had DC4. The whole point of being a feminist is that I am exercising choice. It makes me no less equal than my husband - why would it?

LeninGregg · 14/04/2011 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.