OP have you heard of the Patriarchy?
Women are not equal to men when they simply try and behave like men (go out to work for example) - that is women conforming to the male ideal.
If you are a feminist you value traditional women's roles (such as childcare) to be of the same importance as traditional male roles. And the ideal is for everyone (women and men) to have a choice.
Oh and to not use rape as a weapon of war/oppression but that's just a small point.