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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that by marrying and procreating feminists are potentially going against their feminist ideals

205 replies

hardhatdonned · 14/04/2011 20:13

For you Eggy :o

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Original poster
hardhatdonned · 14/04/2011 21:17

Neither do I any more :o

Got interupted by the ex telling me my 6 year old has an ear infection and he doesn't know how to cope.

Sod it.

I'm joining you feminists, men clearly have no idea! :o

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Original poster
hardhatdonned · 14/04/2011 21:18

Monroe is great, i keep forgetting it's on!

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EggyFucker · 14/04/2011 21:20

he has had a hair transplant ya know

Original poster
hardhatdonned · 14/04/2011 21:21

I know. Bit better than Russ Abbotts was.

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CatIsSleepy · 14/04/2011 21:21

'We are, in my humble opinion, moving away from being a male centric society to being a female society. '
hmm
you sure about that? it's mostly men in positions of power and top jobs still, isn't it? seems pretty male-centric to me

LeninGregg · 14/04/2011 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Carminaburana · 14/04/2011 21:24

HHD - I agreed with you on feminism and marriage/children. A man who never marries or has children wouldn't raise even the smallest of eyebrows - a women in the same situation would be thought of as odd or wired ( and other ridiculous things) so women are pressured to conform - that, imo goes against feminist ideology. And I also agree that where feminism is concerned it's job done - nowhere else to take it. ( in Western society anyway )

But unions are different. We need them or else we're fucked.

ForkfulOfEasterEgg · 14/04/2011 21:27

OP - your Mum sounds like a top feminist Grin "my mum is one and over turned the police forces maternity policy" - bloody well done to her!

Does your Mum think that there is now equality between the sexes in this country?

PoppyDoolally · 14/04/2011 21:28

Skimty Thu 14-Apr-11 20:34:49 ...'DH and I regard our roles as equal; indeed, we see my role as more important if anything. We do not think that because raising children is normally seen as a woman's occupation it is therefore less worthy than his.

Financially, we are equal and share his salary 50/50 with each of us having an allowance and the rest going in the joing account.'

That's exactly what my husband and I do!!! Before we got married I laid down my expectations, he laid down his. In insisted that if he would like me to stay at home, as I would like to stay at home, then his salary becomes the family salary. all bills etc from a joint account, his salary into the joint account, our separate allowances then standing orders to our personal accounts. no arguments, no resentments, no bloody 'pin money' or 'housekeeping'.....

As for childbirth - isn't it the best?!

EggyFucker · 14/04/2011 21:28

I keep telling my 15yo dd that she should listen to her mum

she doesn't

PoppyDoolally · 14/04/2011 21:31

'But unions are different. We need them or else we're fucked.'

I second that...

Original poster
hardhatdonned · 14/04/2011 21:32

Thanks Carmina, glad i wasn't jibbering completely blindly and someone could see vaguely where i was heading with it. Unions though, i will always be anti union I'm afraid and won't shift on that so we'll have to politely agree to disagree.

Forkful: In all fairness it was her and a few others but yes she was one of the main protagonists :)

I have no idea i've never asked her and she's never said. She's quite happy in Stepford Wife land right now whilst working her way to the top of her chosen profession :) i'll make a point of asking next time i see her. But then she'll probably be very disappointed in me as we're a very matriarcal family (huge amount of very very strong women).

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SuchProspects · 14/04/2011 21:34

"My understanding of feminism is to strive for women to be equal to men "

No. For that to be the case women would have to be lesser beings at the start. Feminism is about striving for a society in which people realise that woman are equal to men and treat them accordingly. It isn't about all women becoming just like men.

K999 · 14/04/2011 21:36

HHD...interesting point about being in a family of strong women...so am I and all the females of my generation have achieved far more (professionally) than any of the males have...

MigratingCoconuts · 14/04/2011 21:37

well said suchprospects

iskra · 14/04/2011 21:38

Okay I'm only on P1 but I am most certainly a feminist & I am also a SAHM. So there.

Original poster
hardhatdonned · 14/04/2011 21:39

Ahh see my family everyone, male and female, has reached their potential. Just happens to be the majority are serious high flyers but even those who aren't are what, i would hope, a lot of people would strive to be - happy and content. What more could you want?

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AyeRobot · 14/04/2011 21:39

Carmina - "A man who never marries or has children wouldn't raise even the smallest of eyebrows - a women in the same situation would be thought of as odd or wired ( and other ridiculous things) so women are pressured to conform - that, imo goes against feminist ideology. And I also agree that where feminism is concerned it's job done - nowhere else to take it. ( in Western society anyway )"

This makes NO sense whatsoever. If you knew anything about feminism, anyway.

Original poster
hardhatdonned · 14/04/2011 21:40

But, suchprospects, a lot of people are arguing that in the eyes of society women have been percieved as being lesser beings, are they not?

We are very much equal to men, but in different ways :o we have different strengths to men and they to us

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Carminaburana · 14/04/2011 21:40

That's ok HHD - I'll happily agree to disagree with you on the subject of unions .

(( Have to go to bed - see you around maybe ))

EggyFucker · 14/04/2011 21:41

I get it now

this is a boasting thread

well done, OP

Original poster
hardhatdonned · 14/04/2011 21:42

Erm, no it's not Eggy, but if you feel like jumping in with a valid contribution go ahead.

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Carminaburana · 14/04/2011 21:43

Ahh AyeRobot - you know I have a girl crush on you...

But I have to go

EggyFucker · 14/04/2011 21:43

all of of us 'ere, in my family are fabulous high-achievers who are wonderfully happy and content

Op, you didn't need to start this particular thread to tell us this

you can have told us this anywhere, MN is full of it (bullshit, that is)

Original poster
hardhatdonned · 14/04/2011 21:46

Stop trolling Eggy it's not very becoming.

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