to think that by marrying and procreating feminists are potentially going against their feminist ideals

[hardhatdonned]

For you Eggy :o

Ah k so there are several layers of feminism depending on what suits the individual?

I'm happy to admit im wrong if im proven wrong, im not one of these people who stamps my feet when people put a contrary opinion out there :)

Already answered that one Lenin :)

Maybe both partners share the being at home with baby and the earning an income?

I could also put forward the argument of a woman I know who has rather a lot of children, that it is the duty of hippies to outbreed the rest of society, and thus improve the average . By the same logic if feminists don't reproduce, society will get worse and worse.. .

No, not really. It's just that you don't know what you're talking about.

Where on earth did you get your views on feminists and feminism?

You might not know any feminists who are SAHMs but there are quite a few. As you would find out if you actually read the feminism boards

Well we need feminists to reproduce because we need strong minded educated individuals in our midsts. But not just strong minded educated women, men too.

'But then how can both parties be equal if one is being treating in a more unequal manner to the other? How is it advancing the feminist cause by sending mum out to work because staying home is too demeaning but saying it's ok for dad to stay home?'

I don't really understand the point you're making, tbh.
Feminism doesn't include a requirement or responsibility to do paid work why would it? Looking after children full time isn't demeaning or anti-feminist, or being treated unequally (by whom??)

Feminists don't just have daughters you know - they have sons too! I am sure that they are pretty strong-minded too!

No thanks i had enough of feminist politics studying it at university. It bored me to tears.

Grateful for the millitant ones who got us the vote and all that jazz (my mum is one and over turned the police forces maternity policy) but i do think we've got to the point where it's self defeatist. Same with why i don't agree with unions. Cause too much of a fuss and you lose the sympathies and arguments. The point gets lost.

Okay, I would desribe myself as a feminist but I am also a stay at home mum. I usually don't bother defending my choice on here and I don't know why I'm being pulled in by someone so obviously trolling but here goes...

DH and I regard our roles as equal; indeed, we see my role as more important if anything. We do not think that because raising children is normally seen as a woman's occupation it is therefore less worthy than his.

Financially, we are equal and share his salary 50/50 with each of us having an allowance and the rest going in the joing account.

I know that to many people not having a job somehow means that have betrayed my feminist ideals and many think that I can't have really chosen my path but instead have passivly absorbed the patriarchal messages. That latter may be true, in fact, has to be true to an extent for us all.

Joint parenting does make us dependent on another person and if that were an unequal relationship that could make parenting contradict feminist ideals. However, in an equal relationship I don't believe parenting does contradict sch ideals just as I don't buy into the phallocentric ideals of sucess only being measured in economic terms.

I am a SAHM (accurately, a carer); Dh has been a SAHD and will be again in a year. He did it to enable me to study, I am now doing likewise.

There are many roads life can take without being based on a male-orientated rulebook. One of us to stay at home, we are both sufficiently able, so we share it.

I'm not trolling. Thanks for the suspicion though. I'm genuinely interested in how people reach their decisions in life and this is quite a major one.

I have 4 boys; all of them have An so their understanding avris, but the two for whom it is currently possibnle to guage are astounded when they elarn some of the thing that women are expected to put up with, or the way women are often viewed. Should they marry and have chidlren, that will be really valuable to their partners and society.

Success isn't solely economic it's about happiness and contentment on that point we are agreed i am just puzzled at how there is a contentment to push the virtues of one gender over the other.

Oh i should also say that i can see how feminism would be useful in other cultures where women are in need of, for want of a better word, liberation in terms of political voice, education, social ability etc.

Okay, fair enough. I take that back.

I think the key word is in your thread title and missing from your subsequent posts - 'potentially'. Yes, it is potentially damaging because you often become dependent bt it is not necessarily damaging.

If I was a SAHM (wish I could be but financially not possible) then I would still be a feminist. My husband would value me being at home and contributing to our family in an equal but different way to his financial contribution.

I genuinely don't see how you've arrived at your opinion, unless you don't actually value being a SAHM.

Ooh. I don't know.

I'd better ask my husband.

I think for SOME women that is its sole purpose, yes.

For the majority no it's about expressing their rights. But in my opinion when someone harps on about their rights it generally means they want more than any one group animal farm style. "All animals are equal but some are more equal than other".

You don't agree with unions ?

Hmm - pray you never need one then.

What always pisses me off about the militant feminists on these boards are the way they assume so much about men.

Poster 1 "my husband keeps touching my leg when we get in bed and I dont want to have sex"

Feminist: "he is a rapist, he watches porn, he hates women. divorce him".

Poster 1 "no, he isnt like that, he just gets a bit amorous after a beer"

Feminist " he is an alcoholic rapist, divorce him before he beats you, it is passive aggressive behaviour, read this book......"

Poster 1 "no, he really isnt like that at all, he is a very loving man"

Feminist "he is gaslighting you, get out before his behaviour escalates"

and so on...

:)