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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that a restaurant asked me to take my crying baby out ofthe restaurant

606 replies

40Weeks · 13/04/2011 11:32

went for a meal yesterday eve at a local Zizzi's restaurant. Ds3 is 6 weeks and was a bit restless, crying on and off. The restaurant was quiet as it was 6pm and was there with dcs (mine and dsis) kids had eaten most of their meal and we had not long started ours (ordered it a bit later than the kids meals) and were taking it in turns to soothe him and dmum and dbil were there too. Apparently some customers complained about his crying so the manageress came and asked us to quieten him down or take him outside!

Aibu to think this is disgraceful?

I had breadtfed him but was facing away from other customers so don't think it was because of this. The complaining customers said that their daughter took their dgc to the ladies in such situations. Nice.

I am still reeling from this and not sure if I am bent oversensitive or if it's really weird to be offended by a baby, crying or not!

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 13/04/2011 23:50

i have every sympathy with anyone having to curtail a meal etc if baby unsettled. but it is easily managed and minimum fuss if you are prepared to take baby out, accept some interruption to your meal

BluddyMoFo · 13/04/2011 23:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

violethill · 13/04/2011 23:53

Nobody has to fear going out in public. Thats nonsense. Just bear in mind that IF you take your child to a restaurant/ cafe/ cinema/ gallery etc etc etc you need to take responsibility for ensuring they don't disturb others.
To respond to this thread by claiming that you are fearful to go out with your children is a very strange reaction - unless of course, you are intending to not care about other peoples enjoyment.

IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat · 13/04/2011 23:56

YABU. Nobody should have to sit and listen to your baby squawking when they have paid to enjoy a nice meal. If my babies cried in a cafe or restaurant I took them for a walk.

bemybebe · 13/04/2011 23:57

violethill "To respond to this thread by claiming that you are fearful to go out with your children is a very strange reaction..."

That was my thought also Hmm, weird reaction.

Roseflower · 13/04/2011 23:59

I didnt realise people felt so strongly and so negatively

I would be more on edge now having taken some of the posts on board incase someone laid into me for even having a newborn out at all.

It won't stop me, but I sure would be more on edge

aurynne · 14/04/2011 00:00

A small baby's squealing screams are one of the most unbearable, ear-piercing sounds for me. I don't mind people laughing, talking and being noisy... but a baby's cry just gets to my nerves... it is evolutionarily designed for that. 15 minutes of that would make me feel nauseous, and yes, it would completely ruin my dinner. What is wrong with the parents taking the baby out? I find it very selfish for them to want "to finish their meal in peace", refuse to go out, and not give a damn about other people's peace. I know that when you have a baby you desensitize yourself against your baby's noise and smell... but you have to recognize that everyone else's feelings don't change suddenly just because you have given birth.

YABVVU

violethill · 14/04/2011 00:02

I Don't think you'll find people object to you being out with your children as long as they don't spoil other peoples outings. Simple

scottishmummy · 14/04/2011 00:02

rose you are being a bit touchy and anticipating hard times,were if you adequately deal with crying baby you wont get a hard time.it is as staright forward as that

this post is about a specific incident,not necessarily one you will replicate.so getting worked up and applying this thread to yourself is pointless

Roseflower · 14/04/2011 00:13

I have never encountered these attitudes in RL and I myself would not get angry about a newborn crying in public.A bit of an eye-opener I guess for naive ol' me.

scottishmummy · 14/04/2011 00:16

public is park,shopping centre,street.restaurant has different expectations

dont sweat this rose,it is a specific post which may not ever be applicable to you.but certainly dont feel inhibited on basis of this

Roseflower · 14/04/2011 00:28

Think Im just stressing incase dc2 isnt as easy going as dc1. Stress!

scottishmummy · 14/04/2011 00:31

you are stressing unduly
do try things like baby groups 1st get confidence up,and congratulation when new baby arrives

Roseflower · 14/04/2011 00:34

Thanks. I just know what me and DH get like if we are forced to miss food- misreable!

Roseflower · 14/04/2011 00:37

By the way I never said fearful! I said more stressed/ more on edge

IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat · 14/04/2011 01:35

You are being silly now

Baby cries in public, take it for a little stroll. It is really, really not a big deal.

frantic51 · 14/04/2011 01:50

Roseflower "I just know what me and DH get like if we are forced to miss food-miserable!"

There's an easy way to be absolutely sure you and your DH are not forced to miss food; don't go out to a restaurant with a young baby and/or small child! Be aware that if you do, and your child plays up, it will be your responsibility to sort it and put other diners first and not their responsibility to "put up and shut up" in case you and your DH are made "miserable"! Shock

No-one else should have to pay for your misjudgements. Sure, we've all been there, we've all had to walk out of a restaurant at some time with either food left on the table or in a "doggy bag" because a lo wasn't being their usual, smiley, adorable self for whatever reason. It's part of being a parent and it's part of being a good citizen!

Roseflower · 14/04/2011 01:55

Oh blimey. It was said tounge-in-cheek. Atually the answers easy- just order picking starters like bread etc

By the way considering dc2 hasn't been born yet I havent atcually commited any misjudements...

brighthair · 14/04/2011 01:58

Roseflower - there are some nice places to eat! (not advertising BTW) but my parents have a pub, and if baby was crying and food has arrived, they will either keep food back for parents, or it has been known for my Mum to walk up and down with baby until they have eaten, she will always off to hold baby, or push pram (she used to work in paedatrics, bit of a soft touch for children!)

Roseflower · 14/04/2011 02:07

Your mum sounds lovely!

Well we used to take dc1 to Pizza Express, Carluccios etc all the time between 4-6pm. It was fully of family's; newborns, toddlers etc

No one batted an eyelid it was just expected, even encouraged at that time of day (well its a good way to get bussiness in the deader hours) and in an establishment like those to be full of family and noise.

Guess Im just lucky to have encountered no problems at all alongside an easy going dc1.

frantic51 · 14/04/2011 02:10

Not saying you have, Roseflower, not saying you will, necessarily. Just saying that if you do ever find yourself in such an unfortunate position, you have to remember that "you pays your money and you takes your chance". It's unreasonable to expect others to "pay their money and take a chance on your child being good. Simples! It didn't come across as tongue-in-cheek to me, it came across as winey and selfish. Sorry if you didn't mean it that way [shrug]

Roseflower · 14/04/2011 02:14

I hoped the use of an exclamtion mark would convey the light hearted nature.

Anway this isnt a thread all about me sorry op!

frantic51 · 14/04/2011 02:16

brighthair most places will keep food back if a parent wants to take a lo for a stroll to see if they can quieten it and/or pack up uneaten food "to go" if attempts are unsuccessful, and so they should! It's just that some people don't make any real attempt to quieten their los, just carry on troughing in the mistaken belief that they are so important that no-one else matters! Hmm

frantic51 · 14/04/2011 02:22

TBH what would have made most sense to me, given that the OP had staggered their order anyway, ordering the adults' meals to come after the kids' meals, would have been to order at least one of the adult meals alongside the kids'. In this way, not all the adults would have been eating at the same time, leaving at least one pair of adult arms and legs free at all times to walk the babe!

Diggs · 14/04/2011 02:23

I think theres an easy answer to all this .

All resteraunts should have those things like Asda,s does , where you safeley lock your trolley if you want to go in the cafe . Problem solved .