To be upset that a restaurant asked me to take my crying baby out ofthe restaurant

[40Weeks]

went for a meal yesterday eve at a local Zizzi's restaurant. Ds3 is 6 weeks and was a bit restless, crying on and off. The restaurant was quiet as it was 6pm and was there with dcs (mine and dsis) kids had eaten most of their meal and we had not long started ours (ordered it a bit later than the kids meals) and were taking it in turns to soothe him and dmum and dbil were there too. Apparently some customers complained about his crying so the manageress came and asked us to quieten him down or take him outside!

Aibu to think this is disgraceful?

I had breadtfed him but was facing away from other customers so don't think it was because of this. The complaining customers said that their daughter took their dgc to the ladies in such situations. Nice.

I am still reeling from this and not sure if I am bent oversensitive or if it's really weird to be offended by a baby, crying or not!

Sorry to say this, but bf'ing at the dinner table in a restaurant and not taking your DC outside when it cries are not on, I'm afraid.

Are you seriously saying that it is not acceptable for a baby to be bf at the table, having their dinner at the same time as everyone else is?

Gemma I agree about the crying, I would take a crying baby outside too.

But, why is it not on to feed a baby at the table? That's where everyone else eats, right?

BFing sounds like the perfect way to shut the baby up, it was my preferred trick for quite a long time. At the table, on the table, I don't give a fuck, if the baby is feeding then the baby is quiet.

YABU. I probably wouldn't have complained, but I would have sat there thinking "why on earth don't they take that baby home". If I go to a restaurant I really don't want to listen to someone else's baby cry - if my 6 week old was crying enough to disturb other people I would take him/her out. Restaurants are a treat for most people, it really isn't fair to expect them to listen to your baby crying.

Bfeeding at the tabel is the perfect way to keep a baby quiet!

That's as maybe, and I'm all for women bf'ing (I bf my DC), but not at the dinner table in a restaurant.

yabu!!!!

I do think that when people are paying for the experience of eating out, a crying baby could be rather annoying. Some people don't go out to eat very often at all and to spend their meal listening to a baby crying is probably affecting the potential enjoyment of their rare going out occasion.

I also think that early evening is classic unsettled/crying time for many babies, certainly was for dc1 and many others I am acquainted with. It is possibly not the best choice of time to go out for a meal.

I can't imagine that you were having the best of times with an unsettled 6 week old on your hands in a restaurant, I know I'd rather have been at home if it had been me.

S'ok, I know who RW is now. My money is on him.

Apologies, wrong thread!!

I would never complain, on the assumption that the crying baby would be far worse and more stressful for the mother than for me.

I would however mutter and swear under my breath all the way through and not enjoy one bite of my meal. Listening to squalling babies is like nails down a blackboard (to me at least).

So TWBU to complain, but YWBU to expect others to listen to your crying baby when out paying for a meal.

If they were complaing because you were BFing they are being highly unreasonable and need a) educating and b) a stern Talking To.

GemmaPomPom - would you like to expand on why you don't think someone should BF at the dinner table in a restaurant?

Why? You eat at a dinner table in a restaurant.

I BFd everywhere and everywhen, how exactly does a BFing baby effect you in any way?

Oh please dont make this a BF in public debate. Nobody cared that she was feeding. That is not why she was asked to take it outside. The unreasonableness here is that she can't see that others dont want to listen to a crying baby when they are trying to have dinner. They sound like arseholes anyway, but its still not reasonable to ruin their dinner.

If I'd paid for a babysitter and gone out with my DH on our own I'd be really upset if I had to deal with other people's kids. That said, a 6pm timeslot makes this more likely - however, 6pm is nearly bedtime for a 6 weeker, its no wonder they were cranky. Tired and overstimulated, probably, and time for bed.

Do what you like OP, there's no law against it I'm sure, but dont expect people to be happy about it.

Hit post too soon.

Re: the OP - I also think it is unreasonable to expect other paying diners to have their evening dominated by noise from one table, whatever the source of that noise. We had a lovely pub/restaurant at the end of our road when DS was tiny and we used to eat there fairly regularly but we always took him out if he cried. They actually had a sign on the door saying "Children and babies very welcome but please do step outside if they become noisy as others may not appreciate the disturbance to their evening" if I remember the wording correctly.

Its not about breastfeeding.

You are projecting that OP because you feel astounded (unreasonably so) that everyone else thought your babys crying was annoying and inconsiderate to other diners! Sorry to all the BF Brigade!

"not at the dinner table in a restaurant." why on earth not? customer should be busy chatting with people at their own table and minding their own meal, not looking at ladies at another other table brests and what they choose to do with them!

Crying is different as you cannot not hear it, even if you try to not listen.

So where would you suggest women go then, Gemma?

The ladies' loos?

People have the right to go out for a meal without it being disturbed by a baby crying throughout.
The restaurant was not unreasonable and you really should have admitted defeat and taken your baby home to settle him/her.
Next time get a babysitter so everyone can enjoy a peaceful meal out.

Seriously? You think it's 'disgraceful'?

Why did neither of you take the baby outside when it was crying, as you were 'taking turns' to settle him and you ordered your food later than the others? That's just normal polite behaviour surely?

Because it makes some people feel uncomfortable. I would not dream of bf'ing in a restaurant for this reason.

The complaining customers said that their daughter took their dgc to the ladies in such situations. Nice.

That was the bit that confused me about what the complaint was.

And I know this isn't about bf but I am a bit stunned that someone thinks the dinner table isn't a suitable place for a baby to have his dinner.

Can we all , apart from Gemma , agree that it's totally normal and acceptable to feed the baby at the table. The sustained crying is the issue.

Gemma

Agree Tatty. This is not about bf, its about a restless baby crying on and off throughout the meal, and not being taken outside or taken home.

When you have children, you just need to accept that you can't necessarily carry on doing everything you did before. It's about acknowledging that if you feel entitled to take your babies/children anywhere without any regard for anyone else, then you are probably going to infringe other people's rights.

There were various options here:

• take crying baby outside, push in pram, return when settled
• one adult take baby home
• express milk beforehand, get a babysitter and only take older kids out
• stay home, (get takeout?)

other people will no doubt think of more.

In other words, life doesn't have to stop when you give birth, but you do need to respect that fact that the world doesnt revolve around your baby, and people won't like you if you act like it does.

Interestingly, the OP hasn't come back. FWIW, I do think YABU. When our DD was that age, we took it in turns to try to pacify her. If it didn't work, one or the other or all of use would go home.