AIBU to think that my MIL was way, way out of order about this and I deserve an apology?

[InstropwithMIL]

Namechanged.
Went shopping with MIL yesterday. My birthday a few weeks ago and she wanted -no INSISTED- on buying me a present for it (I put 'inisited' in capitals because I don't want anybody to think I pressurised her into it. I did not. 'We must buy you what you want' she said. Made a really big deal of this getting what I want). Anyway, after a few walks around a few shops, I saw a lovely vase that I fancied (I was careful that it fell into price range that she was prepared to spend) . I presented her with vase, to which her response was:' I'm not buying that. It's horrible!!

I am afraid this soured the whole weekend for me, and I was not as 'accommadating' to her needs as usual.

I can't stand her now and do not know how to move on from this (for my husband's sake) Couldn't care less if I never saw her again.

Tell us more about the jug.

Or was it a vase? Is it important?

Add message | Report | Message poster Bogeyface Mon 11-Apr-11 11:38:22
I dont think anyone is saying that not following through on a promise is ok, merely pointing out that you are

a)over reacting
b) expecting us to be psychic and just know about your history with your MIL
and c) being AMAZINGLY rude!

Net Mummer.

I have a feeling that the op is actually sweetgilly..

OP YABU. And a brat!

MooFarm
How very DARE you insult my tastes in vases. You have no class.

Instrop
I think your MIL was very very rude. YANBU in being cross with her.

But "soured the whole weekend" and "I don't know how to move on from this" suggests that you are making a much bigger fuss about this than is necessary.

This has to be a wind up

Mme - what on EARTH did you google to come up with THAT!

take your MIL is a heartless cow. How bloody insensitive and stupid.

Never mind instropwithMIL, you're in a strop, full stop. Why not go and do something that will make you feel better?

This can't be real. I mean it really can't.

Why did you ask for a vase if you aren't bothered about vases?

"way, way out of order"

er, on the evidence of the OP not really . Rather rude, possibly, a bit annoying, maybe but terrible enought to break contact with? YABU

You seem rather, agitated by the whole thing which suggests you're actually 12 a way bigger back story but lets not have an AIBU by stealth, there's a dear.

Disclaimer - I have no class and I am dull.

Agree with Hocus (Ugly Vase btw)

AIBU to be cross with MIL, who insisted on buying me a present then wouldn't buy the vase I wanted because she didn't like it. Why did she bother asking?

That would have got a very different reply. It was the never being able to get over it that elicited the flaming.

I needed a laugh this morning, thank you OP

Have a

MmeSurvivedLent, OK, I accept that I should have put this in more context. Fact is: that she is more or less ignorant and rude all the time. I do try to be accommodating of her wishes- every time she visits, we do exactly what she wants all the time, but, I don't know, I feel I've reached the end of my tether with her. Afraid it's the straw that broke camel's back and I just want some acknowledgement that she was out of order from her. There has been none.

Actually, here is one from my life:

AIBU to be furious with MIL for giving away the gifts we give them? She does this all the time. Sometimes she doesn't even open them. "Oh, is it chocolates. That is fine. I am am visiting [friend] this afternoon, and need a gift for her".

It makes me cross (and makes me buy her cheaper chocolate) but I would not have such a big strop about it.

Where's the OP gone? Come back OP! You're funny and I am bored.

Stuck at court due to client who thinks that 10am = get out of bed at 10.30 and then start asking people for lifts, finally managing to arrange one for 12 meaning that he probably won't get here till 1 and I will be stuck here all day.

I am hoping for many more "AIBU. NO I"M BLOODY WELL NOT" threads to pass the time.

XP

How often does she visit? And how long does she stay?

Instrop

Go back and buy the vase.

Give it to her for her birthday.

Sorted.

We're not hear to validate you OP and it would seem that the consensus is you're BU.

x-posted

I can see your point OP. My MIL always demands wants "ideas" for gifts for me, DC's and DH. Which basically means me doing her gift selection for her BUT if she doesn't like it she won't buy it.

I always get my Christmas shopping done early now as I know I will have to spend hours and hours trawling the internet for gifts for her to give us. Which is great but they have to be what she wants to buy rather than what we want to get. My powers of telepathy are not that great so there can be many suggestions which are forcefully rejected before I manage to identify the gift that she wants to buy. She offers no guidance as to what she wants to spend her money on btw. It's all a big bloody guessing game.

Kind of misses the point a little. I would honestly rather she didn't bother buying any of us anything.

She's not old and frail and has all the time in the world to do her own shopping whereas I am generally up to my eyes in it.

but where would you put the vase? I mean, there surely wouldn't be much room for it in your truck?

Are you a bit of a rock chick? With class, like? I've found your perfect present.