AIBU to think that my MIL was way, way out of order about this and I deserve an apology?

[InstropwithMIL]

Namechanged.
Went shopping with MIL yesterday. My birthday a few weeks ago and she wanted -no INSISTED- on buying me a present for it (I put 'inisited' in capitals because I don't want anybody to think I pressurised her into it. I did not. 'We must buy you what you want' she said. Made a really big deal of this getting what I want). Anyway, after a few walks around a few shops, I saw a lovely vase that I fancied (I was careful that it fell into price range that she was prepared to spend) . I presented her with vase, to which her response was:' I'm not buying that. It's horrible!!

I am afraid this soured the whole weekend for me, and I was not as 'accommadating' to her needs as usual.

I can't stand her now and do not know how to move on from this (for my husband's sake) Couldn't care less if I never saw her again.

MooMooFarm, yes there is: she is just a rude old bat and I despise her. Every time she visits, we fall over backwards to make her welcome.
She puts my husband down constantly. My husband said 'Oh not another piece of furniture for the house!' in a joking way when I mentioned a vase and in a pious voice, she turned to him and said 'Now, now it is HER birthday. We must get her what she wants'.

Anybody here who has replied thinking that this is about a f*** vase is dull as anything.

Oh, is this the jilly cooper esque poster again? haven't been goosed by the gardener lately have you OP?

Actually stroppy, I'm a lovely MIL. I babysit when asked, mind my own business, and am very grateful that my lovely DIL chose my DS. I also have fabulous taste in vases, but I would have just paid for your vase without comment. It just seems a bit silly to be in such a strop over a vase

olderyetwider, then you are far better a MIL then mine will ever be.

OP- telling the people who disagree with you we have "zero class" is not going to get you useful, constructive answers! Very bad form to insult your respondents.

Yes, we all know that when buying a gift you are not really supposed to judge what the recipient asks for but your reaction is massively OTT and you are lucky you don't have more serious problems with your MIL to worry about. It's a social faux pas, she didn't pull a gun on you.

She sounds nutty. Why ask you what you want and then refuse to buy it???

I cannot understand people's reactions here....the MIL was badly behaved and the OP is justified in her irritation.

Excellent. A classic of its type.
The "Am I being unreasonable. Unanimous yes. No, I'm not and you are al crap people." thread.
Always entertaining.

I may be disclosing my lack of class here but....if you were so sure you were right, why did you bother asking?

Look, was not me asking her for a effing vase- I don't ACTUALLY give a fig about bloody vases.

This is her making a big play about getting me something- 'We MUST get you something you like' , 'We must go into town (inconventiently, I might add)'.
'This is not about what you want (husband's name) this is what (my name) wants to have as a present' and then not actually doing it!

All I can say is that those who would NOT react negatively to this are saints.

Actually, I think I see the problem.

You typed www.mumsnet.com. Reverse the "net" and the "mums" and you will have the place you need.

Guaranteed "hugs" and "hunz"

Well, maybe you should have phrased your OP better, and included all the information.

We are going by the OP. We do not know the other nutty stuff she has done.

Kungfupanda

OP seriously, she was rude to you, and I'm sure it was annoying, but really really it is overreacting to say you never want to see her again!

But what do I know, I have no class AND am as dull as anything.

Where did you find that vase Mme? Or did you take a pic of the one on your mantlepiece

Just thought I'd throw another bun in to the fight

People on here are weird OP...and it's NOT a unanimous YABU

kungfupannda Right, so you think it is perfectly OK to make a big play about getting somebody something and NOT actually following through with that person's choice?! F**ing unbelievable. YOU are the net mummer not me.

ANother vote that you take your traumatic experience over to netmums, you will get lots of love and hugs over there :)

So much aggression.....

MooMooFarm - she has a matching pair. One at each end of the mantelpiece.

Repeat: this is NOT about the actual vase.

MIL was rude for saying the vase was horrible but FFS never to see her again and not know how to get over it??? Really?? You grow up bite your tongue and ignore it.

"YOU are the net mummer not me".

Best. Insult. Ever.

If you'd have said 'AIBU to think that my MIL was slightly annoying' I think we'd have all agreed and come up with some of our own 'annoying MIL' stories. But to say she was 'way, way out of order' was asking for trouble!

I dont think anyone is saying that not following through on a promise is ok, merely pointing out that you are

a)over reacting
b) expecting us to be psychic and just know about your history with your MIL
and c) being AMAZINGLY rude!

I'm with kungfu on this one- you ask for our opnions then slag us all off! I would be irritated, yes, but with my annoying MIL I choose my battles. Wondering how you will "move on" from this is OTT. It's a social faux pas, and she has been a bit inconsistent.

My MIL buys me awful gifts that I wouldn't use, wear or display in a million years. Do I still see her? yes. Did I move on from the black and white sequinned maribou trim chain strap handbag? yes.

Your reaction is OTT, just ask for a voucher or perfume next time.