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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think the world has gone mad?

237 replies

macdoodle · 10/04/2011 18:33

or AIBU??
We live in a quiet residential cul de sac. lots of children. DD1 (9) and her friends are going round offering to wash cars. DD2 (3) is with them.
They have just come in saying a neighbour (one I don't know) has told them to come in and put some knickers/trousers on DD2 Shock
She was wearing a long Tshirt and wellies Grin, she had been playing in the garden with no pants on. I thought nothing of it TBH, she is 3 FGS.
Surely its his own filthy mind he should be worried about rather than my 3yr old??
I don't know AIBU?? I've put some trousers on her now.

OP posts:
Choufleur · 10/04/2011 18:36

How did he know she didn't have pants on?

Jennytailia · 10/04/2011 18:36

YABU, the neighbour might have felt uncomfortable having a small child running around their drive with no knickers trousers on.

I know my DP would have.

GiddyPickle · 10/04/2011 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beesimo · 10/04/2011 18:37

I think the man did right to send her in to get some draws on. I don't know how you can think its ok for your dd to be out in public without being covered

Original poster
macdoodle · 10/04/2011 18:38

He would have had to look pretty hard to even have noticed, as her Tshirt was quite long. Maybe if she had bent over.
She's 3, I remember swimming in my knicks and no top at that age, when did it stop being innocent and normal and become something to "be worried about".

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 10/04/2011 18:39

I think he was right, and probably just concerned. YABU.

TheVisitor · 10/04/2011 18:39

In this society, I would imagine that the man was very uncomfortable at having a small child near him that has no knicks on. YABU for letting her roam with a bare bum!

GiddyPickle · 10/04/2011 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 10/04/2011 18:40

Surely she would have been bending over if she'd decided to "help" to wash the cars?

goodbyemrschips · 10/04/2011 18:40

There is no need for kids to be outside without pants on, I too would frown upon it and I also can not stand seeing kids on the beach with nothing on.

Original poster
macdoodle · 10/04/2011 18:41

Our cul de sac is like one big driveway really, its hardly "going out in public", not like I put her in the car and went to the shops with no clothes on :(
I think if we were in the park on a lovely day like today and she had an accidnent I wouldnt have bothered to even out trousers back on.
I guess I must BU, how very sad. She's 3, still a baby.

OP posts:
IloveJudgeJudy · 10/04/2011 18:41

I think he was right, too. YABU to think there is something wrong with him. It is not the norm to go around the streets with no underwear on in our society. It's not on the beach, it's in a residential area, not in the privacy of your own home/garden.

Grabaspoon · 10/04/2011 18:41

I think the garden is fine for no undies if she doesn't want them on - but walking around the neighbourhood then a pair of knickers on under the t-shirt.

GypsyMoth · 10/04/2011 18:41

people dont want to see it tho macdoodle......might be all innocent and sweet for you,but really,in this society where innocent people can get accused of allsorts,its just not wanted

Bloodymary · 10/04/2011 18:42

YANBU!!! She is 3 for gods sake.
How can it possibly be wrong for a 3 year old to be 'out in public without being covered'

activate · 10/04/2011 18:42

she's 3 but he is an adult and the society we now live in says that if the parents aren't around he's a paedophile

he's right and you're unreasonable having her out there with no strides on Grin

Skiboo · 10/04/2011 18:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

onceamai · 10/04/2011 18:43

I'm afraid I think he was right. The garden is one thing outside in the street another - and you weren't with her.

Original poster
macdoodle · 10/04/2011 18:43

I'm trying to understand why its unreasonable. Is it because it offends sensibility? Or because we are afraid of paedophiles? Of photos ? Being snatched? certainly no one could get hold of her where they are, just outside with a group of older girls.

TBH it offends me far more when all the middle aged men take their tops off to walk around the shops/road/pub as soon as the sun comes out, now that really is disgusting.

OP posts:
Shoesytwoesy · 10/04/2011 18:43

yabu
if she is 3 and "still a baby" why was she going arround una atteneded touting for work?

Silverstar2 · 10/04/2011 18:43

Maybe he was trying to protect her? I expect he felt VERY awkward. I would not let my dc out without pants. Would you yourself go out without any???!

YABU.

ilovesooty · 10/04/2011 18:44

I think it's ok in your own house or enclosed garden. I think children should be clothed anywhere else.

Hatesponge · 10/04/2011 18:44

I'd be more comfortable with her having pants on but no top rather than vice versa. My boys when they were little often played out in our street in just pants or swimming trunks (especially when having water fights etc) but I wouldnt have let them out in just tshirts, and if any of their friends had been playing out with no 'bottoms' on I prob would have sent them home as well.

MrsPresley · 10/04/2011 18:45

Swimming in your knickers and not having any on are very very different!

It might be innocent to you but not to everyone, I wouldnt mind my daughters running about the house naked (not now that 2 of them are in their 20's Grin )but would never have allowed them outside the house without underwear!

I think your neighbour was right!

and it doesnt matter if it's a quiet cul de sac or middle of town, knickers on!

Original poster
macdoodle · 10/04/2011 18:45

okey, so its not so much her thats the problem, its more what other people might think of him?? Confused

OP posts:
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