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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think the world has gone mad?

237 replies

macdoodle · 10/04/2011 18:33

or AIBU??
We live in a quiet residential cul de sac. lots of children. DD1 (9) and her friends are going round offering to wash cars. DD2 (3) is with them.
They have just come in saying a neighbour (one I don't know) has told them to come in and put some knickers/trousers on DD2 Shock
She was wearing a long Tshirt and wellies Grin, she had been playing in the garden with no pants on. I thought nothing of it TBH, she is 3 FGS.
Surely its his own filthy mind he should be worried about rather than my 3yr old??
I don't know AIBU?? I've put some trousers on her now.

OP posts:
EggyFucker · 12/04/2011 08:34

My Dh would have done exactly the same thing as this bloke

'nuff said

I think Mac has acknowledged she was BU several hundred posts back, though

easterbunnies · 12/04/2011 12:24

I think neighbour was probably just concerned. She is a bit small to be washing cars too I would think? I know she was with big sis but 3 is v young. I can understand how you were annoyed with his comment but he was understandably uncomfortable with the situation

3Of1And1OfTheOther · 12/04/2011 14:36

can i just ask how you would have felt if it was some woman who sent her home instead of some bloke? Just curious.

tabulahrasa · 12/04/2011 14:55

If 4 9 yr olds and a half dressed 3 yr old knocked on my door, I'd probably say something similar, because I'd assume she had...

taken off her clothes and left them somewhere, come out of the house when she wasn't supposed to, that said 9 yr olds had taken her clothes to wash the car with - or something along those lines, lol.

My first reaction wouldn't be that someone had sent her put to play with only her top half dressed, because why would anyone do that?

I wouldn't be all shocked and going OMG, genitals,!!! But I would assume that it wasn't on purpose on the part of the parent and try to be helpful by rectifying it.

mollymole · 12/04/2011 15:38

dress your child and look after her properly - 9 years old and 3 years old and knocking on 'strangers' doors what are you thinking off !!!

mumutd · 12/04/2011 15:50

I think he was being very reasonable and was just thinking of the safety/privacy of your daughter - can't see why this is an issue to you.

We live in a cul-de-sac but I wouldn't even let my 4 y\o daughter out unsupervised, I have a 9 year old boy (soon to be 10) and I would still not let her out of adult sight.

Topspin · 12/04/2011 17:16

This thread really shows how times have changed, even in the past 15 years or so. When my dc (21 and 16) were little, it was perfectly OK where we live for small children to run around in the altogether in parks, beaches, paddling pools etc.

When ds1 was 4 and in the nursery class at school, he used to have a lot of accidents and would sometimes run out of spare clothes. I arrived to collect him one afternoon and saw through the fence that he was running around the nursery playground (easy to see from the street) wearing only a t-shirt. Didn't think anything of it tbh - and clearly nor did the school or the other parents and children.

I can see that things are different now and that it would put a man in a difficult position to have a pant-less small child on his driveway, but I find it very sad that this is the case.

violethill · 12/04/2011 17:25

Its one thing to find it sad, quite another to leap to accusing the neighbour of having a 'filthy mind'. Thats what Many of us have found quite distateful about this thread

nokissymum · 12/04/2011 17:25

i think he was dead right to send her home to put underwear on. In this day and age when all sorts are going on and children are being abused, not to mention the danger of him being suspected if anything did happen on their car wash rounds.

Someone said how did he know ? easy, maybe the t-shirt was transparent ? or she bent over, or lifted up her leg to pick her toes as little sometimes children do. Poor man must have been petrified!

Even as a woman i'd have reacted exactly the same.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 12/04/2011 21:31

in this day & age

The only thing that has changed is the level of paranoia.

& the OP did NOT send them out knocking door to door the kids wanted to do it... surely most of you did things like that at their age??? I know we did.

NonnoMum · 13/04/2011 09:35

NO - the only thing that has changed is NOT the paranoia.
What has changed is the technology. Unfortunately, your child could be outside for less than ten minutes and within that time, their genitals could be photographed and sent round the world.
Sad but true.

here I'm afraid

It's no good complaining that it was fine in your day, because, yes, most children who wonder round half naked will be fine, but we will in a different world and I applaud your neighbour (who is aware of child protection issues) that he alerted you to the real world.

NonnoMum · 13/04/2011 09:36

we live in a different world. Sorry. Not the best story but not the goriest either.

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