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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude Mother

223 replies

hedgefundwidow · 06/04/2011 17:32

Hello everyone.

My son bought a friend back from school today which was fine. No problems. WHen his Mother came to collect him she looked around at my kitchen with a definite sneer and barely thanked me for having had her son after school. My house iS slightly chaotic at the moment because i am under work pressure, but i found her attitude offensive. AIBU?

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 06/04/2011 17:33

Don't have him over again. Sorted! Grin

Sirzy · 06/04/2011 17:34

Did she say anything? If not then I think you may be being a bit over sensitive tbh

FabbyChic · 06/04/2011 17:35

You aren't being unreasonable it is always polite to say thank you for having him/her.

sweet4gilly · 06/04/2011 17:35

She is obviously very sad and shallow. Pity her.

Original poster
hedgefundwidow · 06/04/2011 17:37

hi, no, she didn't say anything as such but she just raised an eyebrow because there was flour on the work surfaces - we'd been making cakes for goodness sake. I was trying to make the effort. I offered her a glass of wine to soften her up but she looked very pointedly at her watch. DOn't know why i did that, i don't even drink in the week. She just made me nervous. Typical YummyMummy, always looks immaculate and polished. you know the type im sure.

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Original poster
hedgefundwidow · 06/04/2011 17:40

thanks. i thought the same. A thankyou doesn't cost a lot does it?
i was probably being a bit sensitive too as i'm feeling frazzled at present. I'm a writer and i'm working to a deadline which is stressing me out. Will be so relieved when i've finished and i can relax.

OP posts:
MCos · 06/04/2011 17:41

Well.. Maybe she was looking around thinking 'oh god, she makes cakes from scratch, how does she manage to fit it all in'???

Original poster
hedgefundwidow · 06/04/2011 17:54

i shouldn't think so. She never has to get her hands dirty - she's got an Au Pair, a nanny and a house keeper, so no flour in her kitchen. My Daily Lady has got shingles at the moment and my Nanny (who was a god send) got home sick and went back to Scotland. That's why my house looks like a bomb has hit it and why i'm tearing my hair out! deep breaths...

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Original poster
hedgefundwidow · 06/04/2011 18:01

oh, god, now i think about it, i really wish i hadn't asked her if she wanted a glass of wine at 5pm...oh dear

OP posts:
Happymm · 06/04/2011 18:02

Actually, think that's a good time for wine o'clock:o

YouaretooniceNOT · 06/04/2011 18:03

Ohh she is just a judgey old trout. Last time i would give her the tme of day if i was you. They say the more messy a person is the more intelligent that person is!

Happymm · 06/04/2011 18:03

My only worry would've been would you think I'll of me for drinking and calling a cab home :o

samels001 · 06/04/2011 18:03

Can we come for a playdate? Grin I NEED a glass of wine by 5pm!

LaurieFairyCake · 06/04/2011 18:04

Oh fgs, I'd have accepted the wine, how lovely of you to offer.

She sounds like a right turd.

PaisleyLeaf · 06/04/2011 18:04

You 're probably right about her. But I will just say that I have, sometimes, looked pointedly at my watch when it's something I genuinely would like to stay for, but haven't time.

makemineapinot · 06/04/2011 18:07

I would ahve loved picking either of my dc up froma slightly chaotic homea nd being offered wine at 5pm!! I would have instantly thought "new friend whose DC can come tomy house anytime - they won't judge my slightly chaotic lifestyle"!!

Numberfour · 06/04/2011 18:08

She sounds too far up her own bottom.

YANBU

twilight3 · 06/04/2011 18:13

she has an au pair, nanny and house keeper?
And your house is chaotic because YOUR hired help is ill?

Sorry, is this a thread for the excessively rich?

by the way, YANBU, as my MIL says ïf you want to see me come any time, if you want to see my house make an appointment".

Whatever she thought of you or your house or your drinking habits [rin] she shouldn't have left without thanking you... I find that very strange, saying thank you is kid of a habit, isn't it, you say it to the teacher when you pick up the kids, the check-out assistant at the supermarket... I would personally have to make an effort to NOT say thank you and that would of course be on purpose... she was rude

dexter73 · 06/04/2011 18:14

Just ignore her rude behaviour! If your ds likes his friend though I think you should invite him round again as he probably doesn't get to do baking at home and would have had a good time.

LaurieFairyCake · 06/04/2011 18:14

Actually to be fair I once had a social worker come round for a surprise, check up on you visit - they do them once a year.

She brought a trainee social worker, a slightly green behind the ears one. My lovely social worker asked her what she thought.

She proceeded to say how dirty the kitchen was, how dirty we were and how there was no suitable food in the fridge.

We all laughed good naturally and my social worker pointed out that was cake dough and flour in me and dd's hair, the baking stuff all over the kitchen was because we had just finished, that we were eating home made beetroot cake and if she just glanced outside she would see beds and pots piled high with vegetables. And the mud on the floor, on us and on the patio was from filling the trug outside the back door.

The nineteen year old looked a little defensive and said that she would still expect people to buy veg in tescos as it was cleanly packaged.

My social worker said it was lucky she was in her first year of training as she had a way to go.

Sometimes being a foster carer is quite funny.

Original poster
hedgefundwidow · 06/04/2011 18:15

thanks all! A right turd, love it! I will think of that next time i am trying to make small talk with her at the next cricket match....
most of my friends love to come in for a wine, though i try not to drink in the week...
They say a clean house is the sign of a wasted life. Hmmm
It would be nice to have some sort of order though. James not back until Friday night (he stays in London in the week), then we have a houseful - ten to stay for weekend and laundry still at dry cleaners - so i can't make beds up. No nanny and no cleaner. Aaargh! Has anyone got a magic wand?! Help!

OP posts:
scaryteacher · 06/04/2011 18:19

has your washing machine packed up then?

Original poster
hedgefundwidow · 06/04/2011 18:22

sorry twilight3, i hope i didn't say something wrong? We're certainly not "excessively" rich, just very fortunate that James has a good job. (He's a hedge fund manager/venture capitalist). I cringe sometimes at having a nanny - its so desperately middle class, but i need the help or i wouldn't be able to write (I'm halfway through my second novel). Cleaning isn't my strong point i must confess. If messiness is a sign of cleverness i must be a genius!

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BootyMum · 06/04/2011 18:24

Wow, how the other half live... Ten to stay in house [must be huge]Envy, laundry being dry cleaned, currently no nanny and no cleaner...

Gosh, you'd probably raise an eyebrow and wish for a magic wand if you saw my place... Grin

Original poster
hedgefundwidow · 06/04/2011 18:24

no, the washing machine is fine. We just have the bed laundry collected and dropped off. Works out much more convenient as they iron it too. (My ironing is not good to say the least). Its still in there from having friends last weekend. I long for a weekend with nobody but the three of us. LOL.

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