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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude Mother

223 replies

hedgefundwidow · 06/04/2011 17:32

Hello everyone.

My son bought a friend back from school today which was fine. No problems. WHen his Mother came to collect him she looked around at my kitchen with a definite sneer and barely thanked me for having had her son after school. My house iS slightly chaotic at the moment because i am under work pressure, but i found her attitude offensive. AIBU?

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 06/04/2011 21:16

Perhaps if she does get duffed she can pass it off as James'?

whatsallthehullaballoo · 06/04/2011 21:19

I am going to bed now OP....do not write ANYTHING more without me......please......

Original poster
hedgefundwidow · 06/04/2011 21:19

FGS! It's me - Lucy - i shouldn't have don that but stop saying i am someone else and help me with my dilemma. I have out a wonderbra on now and a drapy chiffon black top, not too revealing. I have sprayed my clevage with pomegranate noir. Does that make me a slut? I am shaking. Gulp

OP posts:
Alouiseg · 06/04/2011 21:20

No! Don't let Ben in, you can spy on him "goosing" the nanny when she gets back.

In the meantime one of James' devilishly handsome friends will start sending you red hot texts about how he's always "wanted" you. He will be well travelled, seriously wealthy without having to work for it. He probably "dabbles" in things and will definitely have his hand up your tennis skirt before you can pour him a fresh glass of lemonade with mint leaves scattered over the jug.

You DON'T shag the tennis coach, unless the coach happens to be female, then there is a little twist and potential for a threesome.

SarahStrattonHasNiceBears · 06/04/2011 21:22

Oh. Lucy :(

Not Jilly then :(

You know, I soooo wanted to be Taggie.

MrsBananaGrabber · 06/04/2011 21:23

But what if James come home anf finds you straddling the strimmer.

DiveBomb · 06/04/2011 21:33

If you make cakes and offer wine, I'm coming over to yours.

ShirleyKnot · 06/04/2011 21:35

You should have drenched yourself in scent.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 06/04/2011 21:37

Am lovin' it!

Pagwatch · 06/04/2011 21:37

You should never staddle a strimmer

OTheHugeManatee · 06/04/2011 21:46

Is it just me, or does MN have quite a fain class of troll today?

Original poster
hedgefundwidow · 06/04/2011 21:48

they're all getting a bit moral on the "Should i fuck the gardener" thread.
Still, can't really blame them. I'm feeling frightfully brazen at the moment. Everything seems illuminated. Its as though i can feel the blood pumping through my veins, my heart is hammering against my rib cage. I have just looked in the mirror and my eyes are glittering. I feel alive.
Maybe, for onr night only, i can break out of the mould that's been formed by my life in a gilded cage. I want to feel heat in my loins, i want to be weak kneed with hopeless passion, i want to be ravished by a man who desires me, not one who does it out of duty to disguise the fat that he's humping his silicone breasted P.A.
I am standing waiting. The clock is ticking, every second brings me closer to the moment.
I have never felt so beautiful.
Or excited.

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 06/04/2011 22:08

Have we established thatbhe desires you, though? He could just need to trim somebody's hedge tomorrow.

JamesDreamPA · 06/04/2011 22:29

You can call me what you like dearie but I do not have silicone tits.

Ariesgirl · 06/04/2011 22:30

Oh this is jut fabulous! You will let us know how it was with the gardener, won't you, OP. Good luck! Mind the strimmer, though...

reelingintheyears · 06/04/2011 22:38

Is this LOTM...?

Original poster
hedgefundwidow · 06/04/2011 22:50

He's been and gone.
I am floating on air. Now i know what all the fuss is about....
One kiss, just one, has transported me to ecstasy.
More info on the F* the gardener thread...

OP posts:
MotherMucca · 06/04/2011 22:51

He,he,he!

reelingintheyears · 06/04/2011 22:57

Yeah...Fuck the gardener...

He is a bastard.

Happymm · 06/04/2011 22:58

when's the next chapter finished? :o

Original poster
hedgefundwidow · 06/04/2011 23:13

who cars about the bloody plants? Have you no soul?
Delphiniums, hollyhocks,Amaryllis to name a few. Also creeping phlox and a weedy spiky little shrub aptly name burning bush.

My sex is certainly on fire. I only wish i had been brave enough to buy a vibrator at the charity Ann Summers Party - the only rabbit i ever get hold of is the one in the hutch at the bottom of the garden...

OP posts:
NJE · 06/04/2011 23:17

hedgefundwidow
Sorry,

Your have one son at boarding school, JJ, and you need a nanny?! Sorry I am slightly confused.

And why are you are hedgefundwidow? Did you kill your husband after you found out he is cheating on you...

This novel is getting better and better... NOT

reelingintheyears · 06/04/2011 23:17

No one car(e)s about the bloody plants.....

It's poor little JJ we care about.

His exeats that is...

Maybe he should stay at school for them?

reelingintheyears · 06/04/2011 23:23

Come on Hedgie....

Keep up..

Original poster
hedgefundwidow · 06/04/2011 23:27

JJ wanted to board with his best friend. He loves it. He's a happy loving child.
And the nanny comes in for school holidays -
As for hedgefundwidow, have you never heard of a football widow? Same thing, only i lost him to the world of finance. And tarty P.A's.
For heavens sake, stop reading this if you don't like it! And it's not a novel, it's my life. I am in the media, i have several newspaper columns, and you probably know me. I have already said too much. Maybe i want to be found out so i can get out of this sham of a marriage
.

OP posts: