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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that not everything has to be caused by a "Disorder"

173 replies

Bogeyface · 05/04/2011 21:55

About all the posts on here with people saying "perhaps s/he has XX personality disorder"

Why can some people just be a fucking nightmare because....they are? Its really annoying that on most threads about an annoying, needy, selfish etc person, the OP is told that the person might have some form of personality disorder when most of the time they wont have!

If it must be done can some psychologist please discover the following

Demanding Bitch Disorder
PITA Disorder
Useless Wanker Disorder
Lazy Bastard Disorder
Selfish Arsehole Disorder
Simply Not A Nice Person Disorder
I Like To Label People With A Disorder Disorder

OP posts:
DaisyLovesMetronidazole · 05/04/2011 21:58

YANBU.

BabbyEdensMummy · 05/04/2011 21:59

YANBU every1 quick to label people or kids with "disorders", when quite clearly like you said it its just down to who they are,annoys me too!

catchmeifyoucan · 05/04/2011 22:00

Definitely YANBU - labels to excuse everything are a real 'red mist' issue to me

tethersend · 05/04/2011 22:03

It's a pain, isn't it?

have you heard the latest one?

Unoriginal thread starter disorder

Incurable, apparently. Very sad.

smallwhitecat · 05/04/2011 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Bogeyface · 05/04/2011 22:06

Just discovered a new one!

FFS I Dont Read Every Thread On MN And May Therefore Reignite A Previous Discussion Disorder!

Do one deary!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bogeyface · 05/04/2011 22:08

Why is it an ignorant generalisation SmallWhiteCat? Most people do not have personality disorders but if you were to believe the number of suggested dx on here then 90% of the population do! A family member has a personality disorder so believe me I know the real thing when I see it!

I am merely making the observation that many people are too quick to label to excuse crappy behaviour when in fact there is nothing to label.

OP posts:
smallwhitecat · 05/04/2011 22:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tethersend · 05/04/2011 22:12

Inadequate attempt to patronise disorder

This can hit sufferers really hard; they actually believe that they are belittling someone and they end up looking ridiculous.

It's tragic.

Perhaps we should start some sort of campaign?

sweet3gilly · 05/04/2011 22:13

Bogeyface

Hope you don't mind me asking but whats your opinon on the 'therapy' business?

MrBloomEatsVeggies · 05/04/2011 22:15

I agree with you Bogeyface, I may be the only one though...judging from the charming responses so far.

mumblechum1 · 05/04/2011 22:18

yanbu.

Every pain in the arse man is EA
Every pain in the arse mum is NPD

No. They're just pains in the arse.

smallwhitecat · 05/04/2011 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

moondog · 05/04/2011 22:23

I agree actually in the sense that labelling sometihng as a 'disorder' often effectively ensures that people responsible for bringing about change, wriggle out of their duties.

Never more apparent than in the world of Special Educational Needs.
I am sick to the back teeth of hearing lazy dullards bleat 'He can't do maths/read/write/sit still/tie his shoe laces because he has X/Y/Z disorder.'

Er no.It's your job to teach that and if you can't, then move over and let someone else in who can.

We have am mantra in my field (SEN)
'If the child hasn't learnt, the teacher/assistant/therapist hasn't taught.

Nowt to do with 'disorders'.
Everything to do with effective instruction.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 05/04/2011 22:30

I have no problem with genuine dx of genuine problems. Therapy, which I have had myself, has literally saved lives.

I am talking about assumptions made in threads, including this one, that any problem must be caused by a disorder.

People can be lazy or useless or selfish or whatever without having a PD! Why is that so offensive to say?!

OP posts:
MaisyMooCow · 05/04/2011 22:35

OP YANBU

Moondog well said!

I'm too tired to write anymore. Perhaps I have a disorder.

steps101 · 05/04/2011 22:37

"A family member has a personality disorder so believe me I know the real thing when I see it!"

I am in awe of your learnings.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 05/04/2011 22:46

That didnt sound how I meant it to! I meant that it isnt as simple as just saying "I/they/you have X disorder" based on a list of symptoms on the internet, as I am sure you know it takes specialists to diagnose these things on an individual basis and takes a very long time, so to suggest that someone has a PD based on one post on here is ridiculous.

OP posts:
GloriaSmut · 05/04/2011 23:03

Whilst wishing to avoid a full-blown case of "Opening A Can of Worms Disorder" I must confess that every time I come across references to Oppositional Defiance Disorder, the more that the words "Awkward Little Sod" float about in my head like an insistent cloud.

Salmotrutta · 05/04/2011 23:15

I will admit to being in agreement with you GloriaSmut about ODD. I have encountered children with this "disorder" and they were indeed very awkward to deal with. They basically didn't behave unless they wanted to.
But I'm not really allowed to say that.
I now await a flaming.

catnao · 05/04/2011 23:16

Brilliant. Special needs AND marriage - two things I don't agree with the consensus.

ADHD must be middle class bad behaviour, and un married MUST mean my partmner isn't ready to commit. Right?

catnao · 05/04/2011 23:17

Loving giving my son very dangerous drugs because they allow him to be part of scociety...

FabbyChic · 05/04/2011 23:18

Im diagnosed with one. There are signs sometimes, albeit you would need more than one sign, generally 3 or 4 for someone to have a personality disorder.

I've BPD. It's a bitch to live with.

Cymar · 05/04/2011 23:19

YANBU OP, not everyone who is bitchy, lacking empathy etc, have a condition or disorder. Some folk are just the type who don't care for certain things.

FWIW, I do actually care about people, but, if it's not life or death situation, then I don't feel empathetic/sympathetic IYSWIM. I've always been like that, although I may not come across like I don't care. It's a case of "If I'm not dying, then I have no reason for not getting on with things". That's just for myself though and not for others.

FabbyChic · 05/04/2011 23:20

It doesn't take a long time to diagnose a personality disorder, it can take 20 mins, providing you meet all the criteria and have met that criteria over a very long period of time.

I know about mental health issues moreso than anybody because I have been there, and having been there, been diagnosed and worn the T shirt for 30 years I do feel qualified in talking about it.