to think that not everything has to be caused by a "Disorder"

[Bogeyface]

About all the posts on here with people saying "perhaps s/he has XX personality disorder"

Why can some people just be a fucking nightmare because....they are? Its really annoying that on most threads about an annoying, needy, selfish etc person, the OP is told that the person might have some form of personality disorder when most of the time they wont have!

If it must be done can some psychologist please discover the following

Demanding Bitch Disorder
PITA Disorder
Useless Wanker Disorder
Lazy Bastard Disorder
Selfish Arsehole Disorder
Simply Not A Nice Person Disorder
I Like To Label People With A Disorder Disorder

:o I have a SIL like that Maryz (well three actually and a mother in law to complete the Happy Families hand!) so you have my sympathies!

YANBU OP.
There are some people out there who are
nasty
horrible
children who do misbehave, doesn't mean every one of them has a disorder.

My neighbours childrena re the most ill mannered, rude and naughty children i have ever come across. They don't have a disorder, they have bad parenting Shouting fuckin shut up/fucking get to bed/fucking x y or z at them will make their behaviour worse, it won't teach them how to be nice instead of rude, or to have manners instead of none

There's definitely too much armchair diagnosis on the internet.

Not always in the "your next-door-neighbour can't help being utterly self-centred- he has NPD" manner though. Sometimes someone's own/someone's child's previous diagnosis may be mentioned, and then they get jumped on, and told they/their child couldn't possibly have [insert example].

You see it happening a lot to adults with Asperger's or HFA, actually- because everyone knows people with autism just sit in a corner, head-banging all day. If someone can type a coherent sentence, apparently that's proof the psychologist got it wrong.

There are people with disorders.

There are people who are cunts.

Here endeth the sermon.

There are people with disorders.

There are people who are cunts.

Here endeth the sermon.

[gavel]

Bit depressing. I am pretty sure I have some form of ME/CFS, although haven't been diagnosed. One of the things that puts me off pushig for a diagnosis is the fear that people will just think it's a made up label to excuse the fact that I am lazy/weak/an ineffectual person .

Moondog started it.

Moondog is a twat, who nobody likes.

Does she have a recognised disorder ?

ALI I have M.E./CFS, It is much more widely regarded as a real illness than it used to be. If you genuninely believe you are ill, don't be fobbed off. A diagnoses when you are genuinely ill is crucial so you know there is a reason for you feeling crappy.

I get worried that people think I am lazy but then they don't know me, although I do find myself justifying certain things.

Ali - I have fibromyalgia, so although different to CFS/ME the problems are similar. I'd go for the diagnosis - mine has enabled to me to get the drugs I need to reduce my pain. You don't have to tatoo 'disabled' across your head, or even tell anyone other than your medical team that you have it. Nearly everyone I've told has been sympathetic, it was only my former employers who thought I was faking it.

Definately not being unreasonable...

Some of these labels do seem to be an excuse for bad behaviour..and takes away any responsibility of the so called sufferer.

YADNBU

Some men/females are generally nasty bastards, and have no disorder

Agree way to often MNers, referring to PND/NARCISSIST/GAS LIGHTER
And god knows what else.

Can I ask about what does MNers mean by "disorder"+ tendencies? eg ASD tendencies, Dyspraxia tendencies?
Do this mean the parent/MNer have come to their own judgement of the disorder tendencies?
If it is the case, are MNers/parents believe this, why have they not got a proper diagnosis from a professional, rather than assume/see a few symptoms of a disorder and diagnosis it themselves
If Im wrong, and "disorder"+ tendanciesare actually a physicians term for something I apologise

I agree with this. I work with women who have Personality Disorders. I find it quite insulting to suggest that just because someone is not "quite perfect" then they must have some underlying disorder.

May I tag onto this the related over-diagnosis of depression? As in:

If you feel sad about your life it's not because you've got a load of rubbish going on, it's because you're depressed.
If you don't shower/clean/wash/dress how I think you should, it must be a sign of depression.

That last one especially irks me, the enthusiasm for proclaiming mental illness rather than accepting that that sane people could make DIFFERENT choices from one's self.

One that got me lately is Oppositional Defiance Disorder in kids. I can't believe there is a single child who has ever lived who hasn't at some time or other suffered from this one.

I also saw a poster (I think it was in Gifted & Talented where I go to torment myself on occasion) claim that their dc had dyspraxia. They were, naturally, superb at every academic subject but they had sought out a reason for why their dc was no good at PE. Dyspraxia, indeed! Some people are just crap at some things. Real dyspraxia would manifest itself in more ways than just being a lumpen clod on the netball court.

OP YANBU - i am so so with you. I recently posted about my SIL who is a sullen sour and rude madam who talks to her (sainted) mother as though she is dirt, moans about taking her daughter riding on the pony(which she wanted her to have), sits and watches me do all the dishes after family sunday lunch, screams and swears at her children, takes over when we have friends round, and generally makes life unpleasant, to the point where my FIL told her to go back to London when she last visited. She is 40.

Apparently, her disgusting behaviour is directly my fault because i'm "up MILs arse" ( i stick up for her when SIL is laying into her) and because i am "muscling in" by living in what used to be her family home - which she BEGGED us to live in or it would have been sold. The fact that she never thanks me for having her to supper, and never brings wine is because i'm "showing -off"

It's ludicrous. Just laugh it off. :-)

gramercy I am usually slow to dismiss disorders as I've never walked a mile in the shoes of parents of children with real disorders BUT that one made me chuckle.

The checklist is like a what's what of normal behaviour when a kid can't get his own way. Pretty sure I, my siblings, cousins and all of our children must have had ODD then

gramercy and marmaladetwatkins - just shows you don't have a proper understanding of what ODD really is.

And no I don't have a child with it, but am sure people who do will love your comparing it to normal childhood wilfulness.

disorder is a professional term, my DD has fairly severe Autistic Specturm Disorder, and also a chromosome disorder (no i can't fake either of these and she has a professional diagnosis)

makes me laugh when parents of NT kids think that some mildly difficult traits there kids have compare exactly to some of the ones kids with SN have.

their kids, ffs I have a spelling disorder

ODD makes me chuckle as well, ridiculous.

Like a lot of "syndromes" and experts have stated this many times, they are over diagnosed and generally down to poor and ineffective parenting.

There is a phone in on Five Live right now about teachers who cant cope with badly behaved kids (no syndromes as such specifically mentioned) but the teachers sound so weak and pathetic, no wonder the kids run rings round them. Ignore bad behaviour my arse lol

gramercy - its an insult to DCs who have Dyspraxia. My beautiful DS 7yo, has been recently diagnosed with Dyspraxia. I was made aware that he quite possibly had this condition when he was 3, however, his consultant does not diagnoses until children are 7.
Sadly a few PE issues, are the least of his problems.
A possible ADHD-PI to add to this

Its makes me so bloody mad
Its the children of these parents I pity, parents like this so quickly diagnoses their children with these disorders, without a professional opinion. Its almost as if they think they are the professionals, and know X Y and Z.
Makes you think how many times they assume some diagnosis, through their childs childhood.
Its almost as if they look in a medical book, and see one or two similar traits and then thats it, the child has it

louloudia, are you a professional? You are able to dismiss professional diagnoses so easily, just from listenonf to a radio five live phone in.

daily Mail reader disorder