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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that not everything has to be caused by a "Disorder"

173 replies

Bogeyface · 05/04/2011 21:55

About all the posts on here with people saying "perhaps s/he has XX personality disorder"

Why can some people just be a fucking nightmare because....they are? Its really annoying that on most threads about an annoying, needy, selfish etc person, the OP is told that the person might have some form of personality disorder when most of the time they wont have!

If it must be done can some psychologist please discover the following

Demanding Bitch Disorder
PITA Disorder
Useless Wanker Disorder
Lazy Bastard Disorder
Selfish Arsehole Disorder
Simply Not A Nice Person Disorder
I Like To Label People With A Disorder Disorder

OP posts:
worraliberty · 06/04/2011 12:08

Read up Maryz I understand what you mean

squeakytoy · 06/04/2011 12:10

ODD may be a "recognised disorder", but that does not make it any less ridiculous. It just means that a bunch of people with too much time on their hands sat around and thought up a new "disorder" so that they could tag a label on a child, because god forbid anyone should ever have a child that is simply naughty.

squeakytoy · 06/04/2011 12:11

And, all it does is give the child and the parents a pathetic way to excuse their childs bad behaviour without feeling that they have to address it, because "its not his fault"... oh yes it bloody is!.

Maryz · 06/04/2011 12:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy · 06/04/2011 12:16

I am quite happy to be an obnoxious idiot Maryz, if it means I just dont fall for all the bullshit that surrounds badly behaved children these days.

worraliberty · 06/04/2011 12:17

No problem Maryz I'm thread hopping so I'm about 5 posts behind everyone!

Actually I'm cringing now because I remember a time not too long ago when I'd hear more than one parent in the school playground, describe their child as 'A tad Aspies' Hmm

Quite apart from the terribly twee name, I'm sure none of them had ever seen a proffessional in their lives.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/04/2011 12:17

Squeakytoy, another armchair professor I see. (Who speaks crap)

squeakytoy · 06/04/2011 12:18

You can think I speak crap if you like. I just dont excuse bad behaviour from children as a "disorder".

worraliberty · 06/04/2011 12:19

I don't think squeaky is obnoxious or an idiot for having her opinions.

It is undeniably true that a lot of kids behave badly due to bad parenting.

Also, even if a child is properly diagnosed with a disorder...that doesn't automatically mean they can't have bad parents.

WassaAxolotl · 06/04/2011 12:20

lesley33

The young chap in question really didn't comprehend the possible magnitude of the list he was reading. Plus, it may have been a bad list in the first place.

He posted about twenty points for BPD, with accompanying reason why he wanted that symptom. For example, he'd read that people with BPD had unusual, creative ideas. He thought it would be good to have that, because he "wasn't very good at original ideas". My friend came online at that point to explain some of the utterly dangerous plans her partner (with BPD) had come up with during manic phases in the past.

TheJollyPirate · 06/04/2011 12:20

Am amazed at the number of "experts" here who know x,y or z does not exist.
Off you go to set up clinic then folks - you need a degree in medicine, further experience and study in paediatrics, plus additional training in child development then you are home and dry.... but then you might discover a huge number of years wasted when you discover that ADHD/ODD or anything else you care to mention DOES exist after all. Oh dear!

Maryz · 06/04/2011 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/04/2011 12:21

And your professional.knowledge re neurological /psychological disorders is? From the Daily Mail etc?

TheJollyPirate · 06/04/2011 12:22

FUCK OFF *squeaky" you are evidently a TROLL so piss off back under your bridge and rot.

Go on report this and it'll be deleted uynlike the crap you are posting fuckwit.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/04/2011 12:25

And if my DD was kicking off because something distressed her, due to her real neurological disorder , you'd just have no understanding and.call it bad behaviour? How understanding and flexible.

TheJollyPirate · 06/04/2011 12:26

Scary thing is that fuckwits like her really do exist - perhaps she has some kind of disorder too.

ASD/ADHD/Dyspraxia/Social Communication Delay/ Hypermobile Joints/Learning Difficulties - all "labels" applied to MY child - can you tell me which ones are "made up" as you are evidently "knowledgable" (ahem - read pig ignorant) regarding these issues.

nenevomito · 06/04/2011 12:28

Original OP - I agree that not everyone who behaves like an arse has some form of disorders.

Squeakytoy, your point about children being labelled with disorders when its just poor parenting - This is my dream! I hope every day that I will be told that my child isn't ASD and its just that I am a piss-poor parent. Sadly, its not going to happen, but as you are obviously better qualified than the developmental paediatrician, with your help who knows, maybe that dream could be true!

Maryz · 06/04/2011 12:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy · 06/04/2011 12:29

Maryz and Fanjo, I am happy to say, despite your sweeping assumptions, I do have a great deal of experience in dealing with children who have behavioural difficulties, including my own stepchild. Who his mother wanted to get a nice little label stuck on him, because he was out of control.

That label would have stayed on his records, and he would have grown up considering himself allowed to be the brat he was, because the doctors said it wasnt his fault, he had a "disorder".

Luckily, she decided that it would be better for him to live with us, and he is now a very successful owner of his own company, employs others, and is happily settled with a child of his own. He is the first to admit he was a little shit when he was a teenager, and he is determined his own child will not behave as badly as he did.

So fine, for those of you who want to allow your child to be tagged for life with a disorder that has only recently been created, go ahead. Then you can say they "grew out of it", which most will, because it is called growing up and realising that your behaviour is not acceptable and the world doesnt revolve around you.

I also have close family who have had serious mental health issues, as adults and children, who did need help, and who would have got more help if the services in place to give this help were not tied up dealing with cases of children who should not have had any sort of behavioural disorder put on them and should have just been disciplined more strictly.

squeakytoy · 06/04/2011 12:31

I am also capable of posting without making personal insults, which is something a few of you on here seem quite unable to do, which says a lot more about you and your attitude than mine.

Jazmyn · 06/04/2011 12:31

YANBU pisses me off too.

Maryz · 06/04/2011 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squeakytoy · 06/04/2011 12:34

I suggest you read your own posts Maryz, and see who doesnt sound very nice..

gramercy · 06/04/2011 12:39

Oh dear, I fear it was me who threw a few cans of petrol on this fire by mentioning ODD and dyspraxia.

In the case of the latter I was saying that yes, it is a disorder, but that it's annoying to hear people grasp it as an excuse for having two left feet.

On the ODD, I think if it does exist it is a completely useless diagnosis. What can it possibly achieve? Defiance may be part of a wider problem, in which case that should be investigated and identified. Or it may simply be unfortunate learned behaviour, which should be tackled, not graced with an excusing label.

nenevomito · 06/04/2011 12:41

the majority of parents whose children are diagnosed with a disorder (note that; diagnosed, not labelled) would give anything for their child not to have that diagnosis and be told that it is bad parenting.

Your one example is not the benchmark for all cases.

"So fine for those of you who want your child to be tagged for life with a disorder that has only recently been created, go ahead"

has to be one of the shittiest things I've read on MN for a while and just shows how much you just don't get it.