to think that not everything has to be caused by a "Disorder"

[Bogeyface]

About all the posts on here with people saying "perhaps s/he has XX personality disorder"

Why can some people just be a fucking nightmare because....they are? Its really annoying that on most threads about an annoying, needy, selfish etc person, the OP is told that the person might have some form of personality disorder when most of the time they wont have!

If it must be done can some psychologist please discover the following

Demanding Bitch Disorder
PITA Disorder
Useless Wanker Disorder
Lazy Bastard Disorder
Selfish Arsehole Disorder
Simply Not A Nice Person Disorder
I Like To Label People With A Disorder Disorder

Knowing F*k All about neurological disorders disorder, lot of that about.

ODD not 'real' then you obviously haven't seen the real thing !!

Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Ha ha. I think I must have that one.

No you don't.

Yes I do.

I think that many disorders sound like labelling insignificant, ordinary behaviour, if you just read the list of criteria. The criteria don't always explain the scale and extent of the symptoms, because they're lists for people who have degrees in psychology and years of training.

for example, on another forum I was on years ago, a young man made a thread linking to a list of Bi-polar Disorder characteristics. He then explained, at length, about how he wanted to have Bi-polar Disorder.

Exactly. You could say my DD doesn't interact. Oh she could be shy. No, she doesn't interact much AT ALL.

YANBU!!!!!

Or speak

flimflammery

Sadly these types of threads nearly always go wrong because a few people whose children actually do have disorders, don't read the OP properly, get offended and defensive and then the thread takes a different turn.

Always best to read and try to understand an OP before posting I think.

If you saw my dd with a quiet shy kid they are entirely different.

Anyway I see a lot of new posters appearing just to say YANBU, so I suspect the stirring trolls are back.

It's not the op I am offended by but later posters, maybe you should read te whole thread

Why do you assume people who agree with the OP are 'stirring trolls'?

I think some posts are unfair to OP.

Imo in relationship threads some ops are looking for 'diagnosis' for their partner to use it as an excuse for staying and trying to 'cure' him. Those who post the 'diagnosis' do so that op sees that it is not her fault. But a person in bad relationship will often use this as another reason for putting up with him. I have done that myself.

How many women have wasted years and years with a loser because they have read about 'commitment phobia' ? How many women do everything because 'men get into a shock state with a newborn'. Or 'communication inability'?

Sometimes it is simple: he doesn't commit because he doesn't want you, he doesn't help with the baby because he is lazy/selfish, he doesn't communicate because he doesn't want to bother or he sees someone else.

I have read the whole thread....hence my post.

Incase you didn't understand my post I'll explain it again.

Basically you wouldn't be offended by later posts if the posters had stuck to the topic in the OP.

Better?

New first time posters, just seen it all before tbh, been here a while.

Worraliberty, you said we misread the op so got offended. We didn't.

no, sorry yabu
I know what you mean, a disorder has to be diagnosed and it's very easy to pigeon hole people's traits.
Personally, I haven't seen it that much on here.

However, mumsnet has helped a lot of people to recognise that some traits are not normal and in fact, there probably is an underlying issue.

And yes, a lot of people will be very annoyed, angry and upset with your opinion, because if you do have someone with any kind of disorder, you will usually have suffered a lot, and be very frustrated with trying to get anyone to listen or understand, and that includes professionals

Maryz: I apologise. We're on dodgy territory when we start talking about children's diagnoses, I think. But the OP was about threads about adults where MNers are quick to diagnose some disorder or other.

As I understand it, ODD diagnosis simply describes the symptoms a child is displaying - it does not describe the cause. In the same way a sore throat can be caused by a variety of things, so ODD can be caused by a variety of things. It is accepted that one of the causes is poor parenting.

So it really isn't an either or - it is perfectly possible to have been correctly diagnosed with ODD and for the cause to be poor parenting.

Wassa I 'm shocked that anybody wants to be diagnosed with bipolar. My partner had bipolar and true bipolar is a horrible illness. I have spoke to many people who think wrongly that bipolar is either just mood swings or simply a type of depression.

One thing that also pisses me off is E.G with bipolar firstly there are two types one has hypomania only another has mania and hypomania, they are different , but even then different people have different symptoms and different levels of each symptoms within the two types, but many people say I cant suffer this symtom to the level I do because they dont have that symptom as bad even within the same disorder there are different symtoms and levels I imagine with all mental disorders.

What gets me is the assumption that just because someone has a disorder (or is, as OP points out, misdiagnosed with one) the label justifies or excuses their bad behaviour, ie

I have been labelled with a disorder = you have been labelled as my punchbag.

When dealing with the borderline behavioural disorders, this rationale is particularly cruel because only nice people fall for it and often end up sucking up all sorts of abuse. What part of that is OK?

Of course some people with grim diagnoses need justifications making for their lapses - and I pity those who have to do it, esp if the syndrome is embarrassing or seen as dubious, such as ODD.

Many behavioural disorders damage the people round the sufferer as well as the sufferer. These people need protecting too.

Yeah I suppose I can understand people coming on to defend something because others have said something else about it etc....

Makes for a bit of a dollymixture thread I suppose.

Fanjo

Good example there. People read points like "doesn't interact" and assume it means "is very slightly quiet, if compared to Mick Jagger on-stage" rather than a bald, literal description.

Then they veer off into a description about their niece, who was "a bit shy as a child, but grew out of it", culminating in, "I suppose they'd have given her pills for it!" with accompanying pitying look.