Leaving my wife and new born baby at home to go to a wedding

[tryingtobeagooddadandhusband]

Am I being unreasonable to leave my wife and baby at home to go to my brother's wedding 7 weeks after my wife has given birth? I would have to leave very early in the morning and be back at about 9pm.

I am thinking that this is a huge event for my brother and would be sad for him if I could not make the wedding. On the other hand, my wife is very panicked about the thought of me being away for the day and the damage it would do to the baby for me to be away that long.

Please help! I hate the arguments it causes with my wife and she feels betrayed by the split loyalty feelings I have.

YANBU - it is your brother's wedding and an important day for you. Can she not get someone to spend the day with her if she is anxious?

It certainly wont harm your baby! My husband never saw my first baby for 8 weeks as he was abroad, it certainly hasn't done him or my daughter any harm.

Hi OP has your wife made contact with the local perinatal mental health team
? She can get a referral from the obstetrician or GP, also are her midwives aware of this problem as they may need to do extra care planning with you.

But Monkey- OP's wife HAS to be 'left' with her child at some point- she cannot be mollycoddled into thinking never being alone with her child is at all normal or practical!

I know that, but it would be so much nicer if she could make it to the wedding. It would be such a shame for her to miss out on this important family event.
I was suggesting cbt to get her over the anxiety of not travelling to or attending the social situation firstly and then more continuing treatment if needed once baby arrives if she needs it. She may find she's not so worrisome about being left with the baby as she imagines once its arrived and she gains experience as a mother.

Sorry my first post was not too clear.
Definately she needs the confidence to be able to cope with taking care of her own baby alone too. I just wouldn't want her to miss the wedding either. That's not good for her, or the rest of the family. I don't like that she is excluding herself that this anxiety is controlling her life to such an extent.
Cbt can work wonders and really quickly.