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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not bother with Thank You cards?

169 replies

whethergirl · 04/04/2011 17:39

DS had a small 6th birthday party at home over the weekend. Would I be considered to be rude/impolite if I don't do the Thank You cards? I find them a bit pointless and superficial to be honest.

DS already thanked every person for the present and for coming, as did I with the mums. I said something personal about each present to the mums ie. He's always wanted one of those. Party bags went out. So I feel, everyone has been thanked.

After the party, I went through the presents with DS and I said something personal about each one and how thoughtful the present giver was, to show him how good it is to appreciate.

Mums thanked, check.
Children thanked, check.
DS grateful, check.

So why the Thank You cards? I find them a bit OTT tbh.

OP posts:
RJRabbit · 04/04/2011 17:40

So do I (find them OTT), but at your peril....

Awhiteelephantintheroom · 04/04/2011 17:41

As you've thanked them all already I wouldn't bother with thank you cards either. YANBU

Eglu · 04/04/2011 17:41

I think if people have been thanked in person then there is no need for a card. Cards are for people that you haven't seen.

usualsuspect · 04/04/2011 17:42

yanbu

you said thank you ..thats enough

HaggisNeepsnTatties · 04/04/2011 17:42

I wouldn't bother either....as you say, you've thanked them all. If you do, they may give you one back to thank you for the thank you card....and so it goes on and on.....

cazza40 · 04/04/2011 17:42

Yanbu they can take a long time and if everyone has been thanked already then think it's ok

MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 04/04/2011 17:42

at your peril indeed....

OliPolly · 04/04/2011 17:43

I don't do them if we had already said thanks to the person too

JoBettany · 04/04/2011 17:44

I always think they are a waste of time when I receive one that has clearly been 'churned out'. They are meaningless. You have expressed your gratitude and that is far more natural and meaningful.

Original poster
whethergirl · 04/04/2011 17:44

I do think it's sweet when others do it, but find on the whole, it's a very white middle class thing to do, which i'm not at all. I prefer to do the mediterranean thing of forcing food on people throughout the party!

Most of the mums stayed and they're all really good friends anyway that I see every day.

OP posts:
Meglet · 04/04/2011 17:44

There was a MN-etter who put the thank you notes into the party bags. Seems like a smart idea IMO. That way you can thank them for coming, although not for the specific gift (unless you are super fast).

TheCrackFox · 04/04/2011 17:45

YANBU

If you have already thanked them then a "Thank You" card is superfluous.

Original poster
whethergirl · 04/04/2011 17:47

Meglet, I was just thinking that! Should have put a little thank you in the party bags. I think writing specific ones during a party would be VERY over ambitious!! Grin at the thought of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
whethergirl · 04/04/2011 17:48

HaggisNeepsnTatties - Grin , exactly! That's what I feel Thank you cards are like - dragging it on tooooo long.....

OP posts:
MorticiaAddams · 04/04/2011 17:50

We don't send thank you cards to people we have thanked personally, it seems OTT to do it twice. We just send them out to people who have sent through the post or dc did not see in person.

glastocat · 04/04/2011 17:50

I have been to many childrens' parties and have never given or received a Thank You note for a present. Oh, actually I did send them for my wedding presents and some people were quite taken aback! It mustn't be a big thing in Ireland (thank god!)

MorticiaAddams · 04/04/2011 17:50

We also put a thank you for coming to my party chocolate in the party bag.

QueenStromba · 04/04/2011 18:26

That explains why I'd never heard of a thank you card until I joined MN glastocat!

goodbyemrschips · 04/04/2011 18:29

I always send thank you cards [or my son does] for birthdays, christmas and easter.

If I don't get a thank you card for someone I get well pissed off.

It's rude.

Mandy2003 · 04/04/2011 18:43

After primary school parties the thank you's we liked best were the ones done by the child him/herself on the computer saying how much they are enjoying the (insert name of toy here). And its a good opportunity to show your DC how to do mail merge! You can set up a template of 2 or 4 per page so don't waste ink Grin

But honestly, we've kept some of these for years cos they're so cute!

NinkyNonker · 04/04/2011 18:45

I only think them necessary when you haven't seen/spoken to the giver to say thank you to, so yanbu I guess.

CocktailQueen · 04/04/2011 18:54

If you've opened the pressies and already thanked the giver then no, no need for a thank you card. At ds's party at the weekend he didn't open pressies so we will write cards to everyone to say thank you and how much he liked their pressies. If you don't open pressies at the party and don't say thank you then, then I think it's rude not to send cards.

MorticiaAddams · 04/04/2011 18:56

goodbyemrschips Why is it rude if they've already said thank you in person?

BlueFergie · 04/04/2011 18:57

I am in Ireland as well and I have never in my life either given or received a thank you card for a kids birthday party or Christmas. They are the norm for weddings when the presents are usually given to best man/ someone else, and I also sent them for the presents given after the kids were born but thats it.
If you thanked the people at the time whats the point of a thank you card, is a spoken thank you inferior to a written one?

PonceyMcPonce · 04/04/2011 18:58

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