How not to get a job

[beanlet]

Having just advertised a (very) part time admin post I have been inundated by emails from people who have not read the ad properly, and it's taking up most of my working day answering them. Please, people:

If the advertisement says apply using the application form, don't email me your CV; that doesn't constitute applying, and I won't read it.

There's a reason I didn't attach my phone number to the advertisement; don't expect me to be available to talk to you on the telephone.

For god's sake don't send me an email with a naff graphic across the bottom of a hipster crowd-surfing; it gives me the impression you're a waster.

If the adrvertisement says high level of literacy required, don't send me an email in txt spk.

It's usually a good idea not to irritate your potential boss at the first interaction by sending a series of emails that indicate you can't read a basic form and require your potential boss to download something for you that you could easily find yourself.

(rant over)

Any more gems?

I will be so glad when the economy picks up and hardworking tax payers are no longer are subject to the substandard, complacent, know nothing trash that 'works' in the Jobcentre nor will they have to grovel to unresponsive employers who think that applicants are all a joke.

That's terrible creighton. Where do you live? I'm glad things are not that bad in the UK.

this is the UK, London to be precise

I hate all this "degree is essential" Why?! WHy on earth do you all place higher value on academia to working knowledge and experience?

That one properly winds me up.

Lots of jobs the degree is essential.

Law - solicitor , barrister

Medicine - Doctor, consultant

when asked at interview for a job in a shop, "How would you deal with a rude customer?" don't reply "I would probably punch them!" ( i kid you not)

Loads of jobs require a degree (in law, medicine, vet. science, architecture) and then the post degree qualifications. You can do some of those without a degree. I agere that a lot of jobs like secretary could be done by 15 years olds having done 2 years of typing at school rather than waiting until they are 21 with a load iof debt and a pointless degree though.

Anyway, everyspring, I do take your point on board. Far too many going to uni and gaining degrees coupled with fewer and fewer available jobs make employment more and more difficult and actually devalues the power of a degree.

Maybe we'll see a shift away from this with the rising fees, but not until the job market evens out a bit - a bit of a never ending circle really. I do agree with you in that years ago a degree was not essential for a fraction of the positions that you see requiring one today.

Some of the comments on here regarding interviews don't reflect the fact that job centres make you apply for positions regardless of whether you have the skills, experience or ability to do them. It's not suprising applicants make silly statements - they are desperate to fail. I know it's a heck of a lot of time wasting for employers, but on the other hand I know of people who geniunely are seeking employment but never receive a reply. Some of the comments on here are smug - I'm glad all you interviewers are so perfect, never make a mistake and can spell everything perfectly with perfect grammar too.

PinkIs why on earth did you say penis during an interview?!

I have to agree btw sometimes the degree requirement is ridiculous. I'm not sure if it's the case now but in my hometown both Ottakars and Waterstones demanded a degree to work in them! If you had a degree why would you want to work as a shop assistant? You wouldn't as a first choice, surely?

As a retail manager DH is not too keen on the whole graduate management schemes either. Having a degree does not mean you'll be any good at management. It's like all these schemes exist just to snap up the graduates who can't get the actual job they did the degree for in the first place - as in "oh I did a law degree but couldn't get a pupillage so I'll just go and be a manager in tesco"

Rant over

And of course this wouldn't be as necessary if there wasn't this insane aim of the govt to get 50% of young people to uni. Aaargh.

Sorry rant really is over this time

They want 50% of the youth in Uni or college, to hide the unemployment figures and get cheaper foreign workers in to do the work.
Instead of academia, we need people doing apprenteships doing real hands on work.
Start from the bottom and work your way up. Best way.

To the Job Centre nob head who hasselled the hell out of me over equal opportunity recruiting, when once advertising for an in house showroom/fir model -

if you can find me a guy who is a PERFECT FEMALE size 12 & doesn't mind spending most of his tottering around in various trendy fashion dresses, mini skirts etc - then by all means send him over - but otherwise - bugger off

My DH's university had an application form that said

'I want to come to your university for the dense academic atmosphere'

Quite

Professions, yes, i can see the need for degrees but basic admin jobs?! I have people who are junior to me who have qualifications coming out of their ears but sod all work experience and, in all honesty, if it wasn't for their degrees i would wonder if they would do anything more than be a filing clerk.

My job wasn't degree level entry when i applied for it. It's by no means a degree level position. But guess what. New recruits MUST have a degree AND professional qualifications. Experience not necessary.

Pah.

I have no degree. Working for my professional qualifications but tonnes of experience. I'm kinda stuck where I am really because of this whole "degree is essential" bollocks.

Degree's ? oh puuurrrleease.
I have 2. A BA and an MA. Useless. my dh, who has a few o'levels is twice as bright as me, has a top position and earns alot more than me. But the stigma he gets in his job searching because he doesn't have a degree is huge. ridiculous.

And as long as that persists most of us will want our children to have a degree. Mine couldn't do what they do without degrees although you must have work experience as well these days.

On apprenticeships I think the budget announced and increase in those.

FreudianSlippery - I think the Graduate Management schemes are for those students who are getting their degree and then realise that all the well-paid jobs require experience, too.

Do not use a sellotaped homemade stamp on your envelope instead of buying a real one.

Do not say, when asked why you would like the job: "It's near the bus stop".

Do not, as I unfortunately did recently, assume someone is waiting to shake your hand, try to shake their hand, discover that they are waiting to take from you the bit of paper you are holding, but in your embarrassment persevere with the attempt to shake their hand and consequently drop the paper on the floor...

Here is a question for all you people in positions of power, if I sent the application form completely filled out in block capitals, would you judge me a "no, no".

I'm left handed, I can't write joined up it looks awful so I've all ways written in capitals.

Ryoko , maybe learn to print in lower case? It doesn't have to be 'joined up'.

I'm loving this thread, especially the comments regarding buses to work/transport etc. There is a serious lack of initiative out there.

Don't attend an interview for a sales position in a fashionable clothing store wearing trainers, trackie bottoms and a bobbly old jumper with what looks like half your lunch dribbled down the front.

(I was mesmerised by that humongous blob of lunch clinging to the front of that nasty jumper - looked like she was actively saving a bit for later Shortest interview I have ever given anyway.)