How not to get a job

[beanlet]

Having just advertised a (very) part time admin post I have been inundated by emails from people who have not read the ad properly, and it's taking up most of my working day answering them. Please, people:

If the advertisement says apply using the application form, don't email me your CV; that doesn't constitute applying, and I won't read it.

There's a reason I didn't attach my phone number to the advertisement; don't expect me to be available to talk to you on the telephone.

For god's sake don't send me an email with a naff graphic across the bottom of a hipster crowd-surfing; it gives me the impression you're a waster.

If the adrvertisement says high level of literacy required, don't send me an email in txt spk.

It's usually a good idea not to irritate your potential boss at the first interaction by sending a series of emails that indicate you can't read a basic form and require your potential boss to download something for you that you could easily find yourself.

(rant over)

Any more gems?

Why would you say that if it wasnt true - how odd!

Dont steal your flatmates interests then apply to the office she works at. This happened to me - I was a trainee solicitor and my supervisor received a CV from my ex flatmate. Ex flatmate did nothing outside work except shag married men but on her CV had said that she was on trainee solicitor group committee as education officer, played badminton, helped at youth group etc basically stolen word for word that section of my cv .

I have an interview tomorrow. I could perhaps read this thread again but I'd like to think I wouldn't do anything quite so horrendously stupid as the things mentioned on here!

I once interviewed a young man who failed to answer a single one of the open questions! The 'tell me about a time when you lead a team...' type. Also, he mumbled the whole way through, and I couldn't understand the messages on the answerphone from him.

I've left my degree off when I've gone for jobs. Apparantly my local council think you are over qualified if you have a degree and you go for a cleaning/library assistant/dinnerlady/cook whatever I've learnt this from bitter experience.

Also didn't tell them at asda that I've got an english lit degree until 2 years after I got the job. I didn'twant people looking down thier noses at me and calling me a snob.

Have just come across these - wonderful.

Don't address me as Mr Ibiza.
Use Dr Ibiza as it says in the application information. Or Mrs at a stretch, but don't assume I'm a man just because I work in a technical role in construction.

Spell my surname right too - it's in the application details. Yes it's quite an unusual name, and yes it is an unnecessarily long, vowel heavy spelling of it, but it's just 6 letters you need to copy from the application details.

Turn up to interviews on time - and let me know if you are going to be late. Train delays, road accidents etc all happen. Oversleeping etc can be avoided, and I'd like to go home today please. Preferably in time to pick up my children without calling in favours at short notice.

And it's best to try and answer some questions, but not to tell me to F Off.

In the days before spell checkers (which wouldn't really help in this case), DDad used to filter out any applications which told him that the applicant had a "driving license" or "driving licence", depending which country he was in (he worked across the world). He was a contract solicitor in the oil industry, and considered attention to SPAG to be essential to the role.